The Other Type of One Sided Conversations

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Aspies are known for being extremely one sided when making conversations, monologue-ing about their interests rather than making proper, two-way conversation. However, I think I've been repressed to the point where the opposite is more true for me the majority of the time; the conversation is mainly one sided, with the other person being the one who those all of the talking, with me just saying "ok" every so often, answering any questions with as few words as possible, and making an occasional comment when I actually have some thing to say, and I need urging in order to keep the conversation going. People keep trying to make conversation with me, but I'm just so unresponsive and know so little about the proper way to respond that the conversations usually die before they have a chance to really be born. The last conversation that wasn't mainly one sided that I remember having was with girl a few weeks ago on piano practicing. Is anyone else like this?

Very much so, I am the uh huh part of the conversation usually. If I do go on about interests, it's going to be with family members.

When I was younger I was, but I was also a little shy and I was often in my own little world anyway.

I have a hard time with conversations when it's not my interest or something I don't want to talk about. All I can do is listen.

Other times I can have normal conversations because I have something to say. It can be spontaneous too. It's amazing what things can interest me when people start talking to me. Then I get curious and bam we are having a back and forth conversation. but sometimes I am doing most of the talking so I figure the other person has nothing to say and she or he is just listening.


I don't go on and on about my obsessions anymore.

It stops then we learn that conversations need to be kept "on topic." But by "on topic" that doesn't mean the conversation stays on one topic. It means that each progressive comment is associated in some way with the previous one. By that definition, NT conversations don't just progress, they evolve, meander, and end up going all over the place, which is something that drives most of us stark raving mad.

Thus, for the most part, we sit there and listen for cues or openings (comments that are closely related enough for us to interject with our own special interests), and once we do "get a word in edgewise," we're not likely to let go of it easily.

One of my sons is extremely adept at seeing "connections" between something being talked about, and one of his few special interests. No matter what we're talking about, he'll manage to find a connection between the topic and video games, origami, or computers.

Wait until you have your opening. THEN no one won't be able to shut you up!

Agreed. Painful frustration. When the topic veers horribly like that, as it always does, it hurts me in the gut. At which point I cease to hear about 4 out of every 5 words. When conversation partner ceases for a breath, I so often find myself saying "I'm sorry, I only caught one out of 5 words there. Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, {insert original topic here}"

This technique is about 85% ineffective at staying on topic. D:

Yeah, that's me too. Someone will say something, then usually I just say "Yeah" "Okay" "Uh huh" all those types of words. It was weird once because I was talking to my friend on the phone and she usually has a lot to say, but she wasn't saying much. So it was basically, every now and then one of us would say something then the other would be like "Yeah" "Okay" and then silence for a few seconds. Of course, if someone mentioned Survivor, I'd probably be able to talk about that forever and ever... it's my special interest.