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kayef
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01 Sep 2010, 7:41 pm

Like most other issues, probably been mentioned before but...

Over the years I have come to accept the fact that I am going to be seen as an oddball by the majority of people. I know that I will never be popular and am an acquired taste for a lot of people. Some people acquire it, but most don't. I have learned that there is nothing I can really do about that. Trying to fake a personality I don't have is draining. Sometimes I feel that people think I should try harder to be liked and because I don't try to be liked I am seen as even more strange. Who doesn't try hard to be liked? I have been shunned so I mostly just keep to myself and speak when spoken to. I throw my hands up or throw in the towel. Because really, what else can I do?



Last edited by kayef on 01 Sep 2010, 8:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Meadow
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01 Sep 2010, 7:59 pm

I tend to feel uncomfortable when people like me...not sure why that is and I'm not into psychology and not about to find out any time soon. So, I don't generally make a practice of 'trying' to be liked. Accept yourself just the way you are and don't worry about it. That's what I say. :)



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01 Sep 2010, 8:00 pm

I suggest trying to find the real YOU. What do you like to do? You may need to experiment and explore. If you find something you honestly like, it is a lot easier to build loose social bonds with people who share those interests. Try to meet a lot of people who share your interests--but don't try to rush anything. Change is hard, really hard. Eventually you should hook up with people who don't mind that you aren't quite normal--they might even want to be friends with you.



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01 Sep 2010, 8:34 pm

I've never thought that social ritual was something that was that important. I feel that those that focus on that, rather than who I am as a person, aren't exactly good people (which do you think good people should care about more: Your own goodness or your ability to follow cultural norms?).

I don't want to be friends with those people. I'll help them if they need help, sure, but I will not associate with those people.

I like being disliked by most people, because most people focus too much on what really doesn't matter.

This is, like, the third time I've made this post. Seriously. Once on another forum, once on my blog, and now here.


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I'm working my way up to Attending Crazy Taoist. For now, just call me Dr. Crazy Taoist.


kayef
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01 Sep 2010, 9:02 pm

The questions are rhetorical. At this point I have a fairly good idea who I am. Life would be much harder for me if I did not accept myself flaws (at least most of them). I make an effort to limit the time I spend sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. So I do get out and meet people and actively look for where I fit in. I have had some success, but it takes work. I do get frustrated because I feel like I am expected to behave a certain way in certain environments or else be branded the weird one. I am a people watcher and what I see sometimes are people who look at others for approval and look at others to find out what they should like and not like and who. I notice people who get these looks of panic on their faces when they do something they think is "uncool" when others are watching.

My behavior for the most part would is "normal". I don't stim, stutter, or have any tics. BUT what might be strange about me is that I probably act like I just don't give a f&%k and most of the time I don't because I am older and tired of trying to fit in someone else box. After so many years of being teased and bullied over one thing or another I feel more comfortable doing my own thing. There are similar people out there and I am going to find them.



BTDT
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02 Sep 2010, 7:28 am

National societies often have annual conventions that can be quite useful in finding like minded people who are far more interested in their special interest than social conventions. They can be expensive to attend if they are far away, but they usually try to move them around the country. Regional meetings can also be useful--you can usually find out about these with a bit of web searching.



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02 Sep 2010, 9:53 am

"There are similar people out there and I am going to find them."

Good luck - I mean that. Problem - if A is hiding, how does he find B's hiding place?

My wife and I played ONE chess game. We both enjoy it. With one another? After about ten moves, all of her men were clustered on the northeast side of the board, mine wetre bunched on the southwest. It was hilarious. We never tried it again [play Scrabble].

BUT - less often than I like, but often enough to survive, I will feel an aura, turn around, and there is a similar who is similarly sensing me.

There are recognition signals. Same way I know at once who is a danger.