Fed up of one sided friendships!

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Hi

This is mostly venting, so I apologise.

I think I have realised how hard I find it to communicate, tend to be the one who listens to everyone elses problems and try and help them but then if I ever try and be open, they don't listen or say I am weird. One comment was 'your brain needs re-programming'.

I really want to be friends with the people I know...I just don't get how to just be me. It never seems to work.

I get this all the time. My counselor says I get used so people can work out their problems through me. I now stop listening and recommend my "friends" should go see a therapist or talk to someone else.

Thanks guys, League Girl, that is so right. At one point I started thinking that maybe I had got the rules wrong, but you have just affirmed them for me!! Great answer!!

You sound like my wife a few years back. League Girls got the right advice. My wife has adjusted pretty much the same way. She even screens her calls now. If you aren't getting what you give, it's not fair to you.

If you had a bank account, and let everyone take from it, but not but anything into it, it wouldn't be long before it's overdrawn. It may sound like a hard thing to do, and it is, but at some point, you've got to learn to say no. Your emotional account needs filling once in a while too. Don't let others drain it, otherwise you'll end up no good for anyone, including yourself.

Take a stand. Friends that only use you as a sounding board, but never listen to you, are not friends at all.

If the people that you're talking to refuse to listen to you and think you're weird, then they are NOT your friends at all. Friends are supposed to do things for one another as an exchange. They telephone, talk, listen, and assist one another all the time. So you should really ditch people who think you're weird and won't listen to you.