Aspies don't have a normal life

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I am against this. When I read people's post on this WP forum, I'm reading fairly normal events. I hear you talk about wives or husbands, children, parents, driving, living in your house, working, travelling, friendships, et cetera. I complain about being an Aspie all the time, but I don't say, ''it's because I want a normal life''. I might say ''I wish I was more socially able'' but never ''it's because I want a normal life''. It depends on how you make your life, and saying ''you don't have a normal life'' isn't offensive unless somebody says it horribly, so some here may actually live life differently to whatever your culture is, but although I'm not NT, I still feel I'm living a relatively normal life. I know some people who aren't, like my cousin who is with a control-freak (also a peadophile) who keeps her prisoner in her own house and she's not even allowed to walk down the town to buy a magazine or anything, and she can't get out without him knowing because he's barricaded the house up and unplugged the phone so she cannot escape if she tried (yes, it's a fire hazard). I think my life is more average than her's. I'm free, I see friends and have lunch with them, I haven't got a job yet but I'm on job-seekers and looking for work, I'm working on my CV and updating it, I've been to college to study basic skills to help me gain more confidence, I have a boyfriend, I get the bus a lot, I go shopping.....all the things an NT might do. I know everybody would be against what I wrote by saying ''no you've got a disorder therefore you don't live a normal life at all'', but I believe that I do.

....and how do you define "normal" in the first place

Exactly what are you trying to say or discuss? You'd probably get answers like "Some have some haven't." And yes, I think your life is quite normal judging from what you write.

In my case, I'm missing an own family life, and I sit home alone too much, spending too much time with my interests. But, I think there's a chance to change these things for the better, at least I hope so.

Last edited by OJani on 09 Nov 2011, 6:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

This. Also report that guy to the police!

Yeah. This.

I am not looking for what the majority of people call a "normal" life-I want understanding and a relationship and experiences like my NT peers-I don't think it s much to ask to have these things-I will always be who I am but I cant seem to find people who accept that-I accept others and how they are.

I don't have to live a normal life to be happy. I just have to live my life to be happy. Besides sometimes it's better to live a fun life, than it is to live a normal life. I also live on my own so I can live a fun life. It's fun being able to be myself and live my life the way that I wish. If I want to live the way that a masculine woman lived in 1965, I can. I don't think that there's such a thing as a normal life, because everybody on this planet each lives a different life that's as different as the finger prints on their fingers. With 70 Billion people in the world, it's pretty hard to say what a normal life is, because each adult lives their life differently.

Same here. What is normal for me is certainly not the same as for every other individual on this planet, but it is still my own normal ... and then the challenge becomes that of learning to live either with my own normal or in spite of it.

What?

Maybe going to the Bahama's and living a life of just sun, sand, sea and sex without any worries or responsibilities is an abnormal life but I'm sure most people would kill to have a life like that.

Last edited by Joe90 on 09 Nov 2011, 8:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think he meant this:

For an hour I thought it's me you should report to the police. I'm not making up this, I'm that stupid.

We did, but he's an expert on lying and convincing, that he even convinced the police, and then makes people like my family who care about this girl be accused of ''not letting her have her own life'', when really we're doing this so she can be free and have her own life. It's this psycho who's stopping her from being an independant adult with a normal life.

I know that's off-topic but just saying. I think I'd prefer my life to her life.

Well, that definitely places a different slant on dealing with what is "normal". It is normal for that sicko man to treat that girl as he does, and then her own "normal" seems to include being subjected to that kind of thing ...

... and at that point, and even thought it sounds like people have already tried, we should all do whatever we might normally do to try to help her find a more "normal" (healthy and enjoyable) life.

I know there's at least some people out there who have a similar life to me in some way. I spend a lot of time by myself and prefer a lot of the time to just hangout at home watching tv or going on my computer or whatever. This is the kind of s**t that has lead my psychologist to dub me as avoidant, but I know more than one NT around this area who live in a similar way. In some ways I've done well having gone to college and nearly gotten a degree, and as of recently, two jobs.

There is no such thing as "normal." Everybody, AS & NT alike, is in their own place. I know plenty of dysfunctional NTs and seemingly "normal" Aspies. You just do the best you can with what you have and try not to worry too much about what the other person has. I don't have time to worry about being "normal."

A normal life is boring. Everyone basically does the same thing with their lives. If you think Asperger's makes a difference in that respect, be glad. Do whatever the hell you want instead of just following society's expectations of getting married, having kids, paying off a mortgage for the rest of your life, etc.