People don't understand why I'm hoping for an AS diagnosis.

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I'm planning on going through the process to get evaluated for Aspergers. Two of my friends who brought aspergers to my attention seem to think it'll be very likely I'll get a diagnosis. Other people I've talked to about it don't understand why I'm hoping I do get the diagnosis. It seems to have been said over and over, but aspergers just makes so much sense! My life makes sense now! I don't know how else to express this to NT's. I don't mind labels, I'd be proud to be an aspie.

Has anyone else come across people who just don't understand?

I understand. I consider my diagnosis to be the most important thing that's happened in my adult life.

"Of crucial consequence is what un-, under-, and misdiagnosis in women mean in the lives of women who are AS and don't know it. One meaning is that they have no way of explaining themselves to themselves, thus no access to the support and positive sense of self they need. And, perhaps more important, more difficult, and more destructive than that, they accept the default explanations for the string of problems, setbacks, and oddities in their experiences and behavior: character weakness, resulting in a vague yet profoundly affecting belief in their own worthlessness."
-- Jean Kearns Miller, "Under-diagnosis in Women", Women From Another Planet?

I've actually seen that ignorance here from other aspies ironically when they talk about how they don't understand why someone would "want to have AS" or get upset if they are told they didn't have it.

I totally understand. I so hope I get the diagnoses, its not about being all yay I have Aspergers. Its about finally knowing why im the way I am and being able to move on with my life in a positive direction. if you dont know your leg is broken then you cant fix it.

Knowledge is power lol.

People wonder why you want the diagnosis because (a) they think having AS is a bad thing ("You poor person!") - as though it was like having a permanently broken leg with chronic pain - and (b) because they don't realise the relief of finally having an explanation for a lifetime of being different to everyone else.

Getting a diagnosis doesn't turn you from a neurotypical into an Aspie. It just means that you always have been an Aspie, and now you know it. And that sounds to me like an important step towards self-knowledge.

Once I learned I had Asperger's it was a great relief. Not knowing why I was different all my life was a miserable mystery. And yes, it did lead to feelings of worthlessness, caused by people saying or implying that a lot of stuff I did/didn't do or said/didn't say was my fault--that I was doing or not doing things on purpose. This made people frustrated and angry with me, and they treated me badly because of it. Is it any wonder so many of us become loners, and then eventually come to prefer being alone?

I am too old and set in my ways to be helped much by the advances made since Autism/Asperger's were first recognized for what they are. Before that, when I was growing up, we had emotional/behavior problems, and were discipline problem kids, who it was believed could be "cured" by the right combo of drugs, therapy, and discipline, given enough time. But the therapy, drugs, and discipline were all aimed at curing a problem we didn't have, except sometimes as a side issue. So naturally they weren't able to help us, and we were blamed for not cooperating with or for fighting the treatments. Spectrum disorders are not curable, but can be helped some with treatment. I learned a number of coping methods on my own over the years. I have seen these mentioned in my research of spectrum treatments. Unfortunately, I had to go it alone to find them before I found out about Asperger's, but at least I have confirmation that I have been on the right track on some of my own self helps.

I definitely prefer knowing what is wrong with me. The not knowing over several decades was a terrible burden to bear.

Stop being proud of having autism, you were born with it.

Anyway, tell people that you require validation from a professional in order to truly trust in your own opinion and thus understand your life.

I wasn't diagnosed until just recently and it was a huge relief.

But when I was younger (until about 20 or so) I used to get really upset if anyone ever hinted that I wasn't 'normal'. Because I think I tried SO hard to be normal and fit in, that being told I failed at that was a huge blow to me.

As a kid, all through school I clung to the hope that once I graduated and got out into the real world, things would be better. I knew I had issues that made it hard for me to conform to school, with its rigid social structure and class requirements; but somehow I thought I'd have no problem fitting into the adult world, once I graduated.

I was wrong about that, and all the problems I'd had functioning in school followed me into my adult life. And after a few years of struggling, I was ready to admit that my inability to function was due to some kind of mental disorder that wasn't my fault, as opposed to just my own weakness and stupidity.

So yeah, I was really grateful to finally be diagnosed, and know that there is a legitimate reason why I've struggled all of my life. But I can see how some people might not be ready to stop clinging to the hope that maybe they're 'normal'.

Good luck with everything, I hope you can get an answer soon too!

I don't really think NT's would ever understand a need to be diagnosed. I find most consciously deny any amount of divergence from mental norms. They could be beating the dog, and slapping the wife, and shooting guns in the air, and running naked through a field, but in fact they are completely normal (if anyone does all this, no offense intended).

I also find that being "aspie" is in no way understandable by NT's. My cousin works with people on the spectrum, I spoke to him about it - but he has a bit of a simple approach which isn't quite explainable. Almost like he's dealing with lower beings with a set amount of characteristics (like animals). Just sort of peculiar, completely different from how I'd think of myself... but gives me some insight into their thought patterns towards us.

I hope that things go well for you, I can understand why the diagnosis might be a relief.

I am pretty sure I am an aspie, it explains so much about my life and how I am, but the idea of discussing with a GP and going through a 'diagnostic process' fills me with horror! I do not trust or want anything from the medical/mental health establishment in that regard. I went to them a few years ago with my problems with socialising, my interest in so-called conspiracy theories and freemasonic symbolism which at the time was causing me to get anxiety/panic, some mild echolalia I was getting at night, they got the wrong end of the stick and I ended up being loaded with antipsychotics, even though I knew all along I was not psychotic. I stopped taking the meds pretty quickly and didn't tell them, but still had to meet with the support worker once a week, which I hated, although she was nice. She did notice that I didn't make much eye contact, tapped my foot a lot, my voice sounded 'flat as a pancake' but I don't think she quite understood where I was coming from. I enjoy my interests in making music, studying psychology and researching the new world order, for the most it is preference that I do these things alone rather than being depressed, socialising for me is overrated, especially as most guys only want to talk about beer, women and sports. I assume they thought I was schizophrenic, but never actually told me what diagnosis, if any, they had made. After a year I moved away and got discharged, nothing has really changed in my life but I don't beat myself up for not being social or having relationships so much anymore. I think having scored as an aspie on the online tests and relating very much to people's stories here is enough for me at the moment, I don't think I need a formal diagnosis right now.

Most NTs are petrified by labels, particularly with mental illness associations. As Pete has just described their are some pretty horrific stories abound of the mental health services going overboard. It's the same way know sane parent would invite social service into their lives without an exceptionally good reason.

In some ways though that's a good reason to seek a diagnosis, if ever you do have some sort of breakdown which requires intervention, life should be a lot simpler and the treatment appropriate.

My wife's cousin has some problems which could easily be explained by aspergers, ADHD or similar. The whole family of that family have strong traits of something, However she has a tendency for sudden suicidal behaviour, she threatened to jump from the roof of the house or a bridge or something else equally improbable. Attwood described this quite well as more of a tantrum and being unable to describe feelings appropriately.

She obviously hasn't gone through with it, but the mental health service took it very seriously, she was sectioned and has received electro shock therapy and is now on strong anti psychotics and anti depressants. The treatment has definitely worked, but she's not suicidal any more, but shes not anything else any more either. It's sad and scary how they operate once the patient loses control of their own treatment.

Jason