Do you have happy memories?

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Just wondering. If so, what are they like for you?

I don't know that I do have happy memories, so I'm curious about your opinions as an Aspie.

Most of my memories of would-be happy occasions (parties, birthdays, vacations, school, weddings...) are marred by the fact that they are for the most part socially-based, and therefore the pervading feeling of awkwardness, embarrassment, and knowing that I didn't fit in has somewhat clouded my judgement.

I've even gotten to the point of selectively blocking my memories that revolve around social occasions, and trying not to form new ones, because they are just so painful to remember.

Happy memories therefore have been mostly time that I've spent alone, things that I've done by myself (spending time outdoors, painting, playing music, and such.)

What about you? What are your memories like?

I have happy memories of both shared moments and moments alone, but they tend to get overridden by unhappy memories.

I was never invited to social event and I have no good memories about stuff like other people-never had dates or anything connected to having a date with someone like my peers did-I have a life but next to my peers I have never lived. I look back now and now that I know what my difficulties stemmed from-it makes sense but its a life unfulfilled and I missed out a lifetime of good experiences as the bad ones are a constant-they seem to be the only ones I have memories of.

Very, very few. Mostly of the times I was allowed to obsess about my obsessions and special intrests. My only happy memories usualy are special intrest related. Special intrests are they only thing that made my life bearable.

Yes, practically my whole childhood, upto when I was 12.

Nope. But then I have very few memories full-stop - I can often remember that things have happened, but not remember the experience (how I felt, exact details of what happened at the time, etc.), and thus none of what I can remember seem 'happy'.

My life was far from perfect, but I had a lot of happy, care-free days as a kid--- most of which consisted of me frolicking about in my own little world.
Everything in my life sort of went downhill after I turned 10. I don't have any happy memories of being a teenager.

Yes, I do have some happy memories. Most of them are about being with animals, one on one human encounters with the few people mature enough to treat me normally, or things that I've done alone. The only exception that I can think of is some happy moments from college.

Things that are typically supposed to be happy moments in one's life, like birthdays, special events, friendships and such, are more or less bad memories for me or sadly blank spaces of experiences I never got to have.

I have a lot of happy memories since meeting my husband (at 19) and having my daughter. I don't have very many from childhood or adolescence.

Thank you all for your input and sharing about your memories. I appreciate it very much.

Most of my favorite memories are from when I was little (2-5 (yes I can remember being 2 years old)). They don't really have any thing in common other then being from when I was little.

I have very unhappy memories about being chastised for talking about my special interests and being told to act my age. It got to the point where I've attempted suicide over those painful memories. I know that not everybody wants to hear about the special interests of an autistic person. My parents could have handled my special interests and my emotions in a more understanding way. My mum asked me what made me want to take my life. I told her that she and my dad never went along with any of my special interests. She started crying. For that brief moment, she understood how it felt to be me. Too bad that moment couldn't last.

I like to think for all the hardship of being bullied, tormented, taken advantage of, and living with low self esteem that I can say I did live and am still living a good life.

Some of my favorite memories:

Once I told my granny that when I grow up I will own my own car with a trailer attached. The next day after coming back from school, she bought me a toy car version of my dream car. It touched my heart and showed how much my grandmother loved me and how much she paid attention to me. That was probably over 23 years ago and yet I still remember it.

Another great memory or memories involved playing basketball. It was mostly shooting by myself and imagining myself being Michael Jordan. I loved the sound of the ball going through the net perfectly so I would shoot again and again just to hear the swish the net made. Then I became obsessed with the bank shot. It provided me with a sanctuary to be away from bullies, overly criticizing parents, and the general pressures of life. This was when I was teenager, which was probably the toughest part of my life.

Another memory: The very first time I scored a basket in organized team basketball was a jump shot. I remember the night before I practiced my shot over and over again. On game day, the shot I practiced bore fruition and I scored a perfect jump shot from the left elbow. That was 1994.

I remember when I was in junior high and played for my Boys and Girls Club’s basketball team. I was told I sucked at basketball and would never score over 10 points. One game I proved them wrong and scored 12 while never missing a single attempt. It was awesome it proved that if I persevered sometimes things can favorably go your way. This 12 point game was in 1995.

When I entered High School and I only managed to play on the C team. I sat on the bench nearly the whole season during freshman year and never scored a basket…until the last game of the season. Of course I never got the ball because they never passed to me. One of my teammates shot the ball and it missed. I timed my jump perfectly and tipped the ball back in with my left hand and scored with a perfect bank shot. All those hours practicing those shots sure paid off. I remembered the crowd just being overjoyed for me because they all knew I didn’t play much. Year: 1996.

I remember those memories like yesterday. They made life more bearable for me. I like to think at one point in my life, I could accomplish what NTs said I couldn’t do as an Aspie. I also knew I was loved by my grandmother.

As you can see I am a basketball fanatic but really I hated playing it 5 on 5 because of my lack of empathy made it impossible for me to synchronize with the other players. But I sure loved watching great individual players do their magic. Back then it was Michael Jordan and today it's Carmelo Anthony.

Traumatic memories seem to be very easily triggered. I have found that recounting traumatic events in a safe environment, to somebody I trust, is very helpful in alleviating the trauma suffered upon recall of these events. If you do not fully trust a member of your family, or a friend, with your problem, it can be unloaded on a therapist. If that sounds too painful, you could anonymously post it on the internet first. I think that the more you disclose the event, the easier the event becomes to disclose, and recall.

I hope all your problems become easier for you soon, the heavy weight of your negative emotions lifted from your shoulders.

Yes, I have happy memories---along with a few not so happy ones. I like to look back on the happy ones including the ones of my childhood.

Let me elaborate on one.

It was the end of July in 1972 and I had just acquired a special intense interest that would change my life---roller coasters. After coming back from a week long vacation at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, my family took me to the newly opened Kings Island theme park just north of Cincinnati, Ohio. There, at 7 years old, I bravely took my father's hand and walked into the waiting line for The Racer roller coaster. I was nervous and anxious. I didn't say too much as I tried to muster up the courage to not back out. After a wait, my father and I stood ready to board the five-car long 30 passenger roller coaster train. He looked at me, and I said nothing. He motioned me to board first. As I sat down he took his seat and lowered the lap bar. As the brakes were released we began rolling around the curve out of the station leading to the 88 foot tall lift hill. My father said, "Don't forget to wave at Mom." I waved, but I was scared. I didn't know what to expect as our train ascended alongside another full train beside us filled with passengers with their arms raised high in the air. My hands were tightly gripped around that lap bar---I wasn't turning loose. I can still remember our train cresting the top of the lift hill and that shaky little bobble in the heavy train as it began to head downwards toward the ground. I felt myself lift out of the seat as I felt myself zooming down that seemingly endless drop. More hills followed as I wondered how I felt about this new experience. Two minutes and thirty seconds later our train came to a stop. My father looked at me, and I looked at him. I spoke first, "Dad, can we ride again?" And that was the beginning of my roller coaster obsession. Forty years later, I am still obsessed.

My avatar is a picture of me shortly after that trip to Kings Island in 1972. It is one of the few childhood pictures that I can remember what I was thinking when it was taken. I had just come in from our backyard to eat lunch. I had been busy in the backyard creating my own amusement park filled with various rides and roller coasters (made out of swings, wagons, and whatever else I could turn into thrill rides). I had a beauty of an amusement park made complete with waiting lines made with leftover ornamental flower garden fencing. I was so happy. I was so amazed. I was so absorbed. Mom thought it was neat---and she was happy that I was so happy. I had it cleaned up by the time Dad got home in the evening. But that afternoon, I played with this new special intense interest. And that avatar picture of me is a special moment out of time. It was taken during the very moments of the birth of a special intense interest. And I often look at the smile on my face---it wasn't fake. It was a genuine smile of me as a boy---who had finally found an interest that would become special and intense. I don't have a picture of me being born (although there are plenty of baby pictures of me), but I do have this picture of me as roller coasters were born into an obsession with me. I would learn so much about roller coasters in the following years. By the time I reached high school I had memorized the statistics of every roller coaster in North America. And it all began in 1972---and my avatar picture shows the beginning of it.