Lamictal (lamotrigine) and sensory management

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Hi all,
I am new to the forum (recently diagnosed with AS) and just wanted to talk briefly about an issue I have that is probably fuelled by the sensory hyper-acuity that people with AS are prone to. I have experienced depersonalization/derealization starting at age 6. They started out as episodic "clicks" where there would be some very quick change in my perception, and I would always say to myself "I didn't feel like I was in the world back then" or "I am lightheaded", these kind of statements are preliminary, but It's telling of what it was like. I would always return to the idea that if someone were recording my EEG there would be a clear blip, like brief seizure activity (I have never had a genuine seizure though but the brain flick was an uncanny description of a brief temporal lobe seizure).

These clicks would continue until the age of 15 where from then on I seemed to be living in this state chronically, not as warping or powerful as a click, but there was the definite presence of a basal depersonalized state. I would go through the day feeling like a shell, and automaton, like an actor on stage, faking conversation, intrigue. I was constantly surprised that I could go on like this and nobody would know anything was amiss. This was PCP, ketamine, DXM, ether (never done anything like these drugs, but the effects of these drugs explain the state somewhat). My field of vision would randomly start getting "bleached", everything looked white-washed and squinty bright. My pupils felt like they were achingly pin-point, an ocular pressure and a forced squint.

If Temple Grandin felt like an anthropologist on mars, I felt like a loose collection of dispersed meaningless particles on a remote mountain on mars. I would look at my hands or limbs when I walked and got the eerie sense of being disconnected from them, they were somehow moving on their own accord, I wasn't the pilot, there was no pilot, "I" or some vague entity felt obliterated. When I read this, it seems wishy-washy, like these cognitions were a contributing factor to this, but I cannot stress enough how physical and tangibly real this all was. I could feel it and analyze it empirically.

I felt like I had brain damage or some organic neural issue. I tried various drugs to no avail. I wasn't hopeless but it seemed like there would be no drug in the world that could stop this very complex "higher-order" neural phenomenon that wast host in me. I searched the internet through and through for any information on this depersonalization disorder. I found several studies that demonstrated improvements in depersonalization by the administration of lamotrigine.

I spoke to my doctor about Lamictal (lamotrigine), a relatively new and "unusual" anticonvulsant that has been shown to reduce dissociative events induced by ketamine administration. I was titrated up to a dose of 550 mg, and have stayed on this dose for 2 years now. I couldn't believe it, but sure enough my depersonalization and mood improved 100x over. Lamotrigine has reinstated my faith in what a correctly prescribed, third-party researched off-label drug can do (a drug used in a study not funded by the drug company, in this case a GSK drug). Lamictal must be doing something in modulating the aberrant neuronal firing and augmented sensory distortions caused by my AS

I hope this post doesn't qualify for a TL;DR, but maybe some of you will identify with this. I would appreciate any feedback and personal experience with depersonalization, or how you responded to Lamictal for whatever reason you were prescribed it (success, side effects, etc.).



- Jay

I have occasionally gone into a state where I focused on something a little too much, blocking out my normal perceptions of the normal continueum. There was one funny time when I actually felt I had gone into another dimension, but I managed to figure out why I was feeling that way and burst out laughing. I was temping at a small Mom & Pop light industrial place at the time. Although I liked the people there, because of my Aspyness, I sometimes went and sat in my car at lunch, and ate while reading one of my paperbacks. I would also have the radio on playing music. This one lunch time, I had that other dimension feeling, I finally traced it to the tune on the car radio--the theme of the old "Twilight Zone" series. It had actually made me feel like I had slipped into another dimension. I know it was subliminal, based on my knowledge of, and fondness for the show, but it really made me feel that way that time. That's how powerful the power of suggestion is. The various forms of media available have a lot of power in this regard.

My own situation is only occasional, and not anywhere near as strong as your sensations were, so I don't feel I need meds for it, but I am glad you have found a medication that is helping you with this.

Remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau

Wow, what a succinct description of something so familiar!

I have this sound / feeling / image (a whole set of sensations that don't disentangle) like a build-up of surf sounds, which become unbearably clear and bleached out, followed by a light buzz and then, click! About eight years ago I had to visit an administrative office in which there was a big, heavy-duty photocopier which made the exact same sequence of sounds, with the same buzzing sensation (you could feel it from across the room) ending with a click. I desperately wanted to know the brand and model number to explain to my psychiatrist, but the staff thought I was crazy and would not let me anywhere near it. I think it was a Fujitsu - the noises, about once every twenty minutes, were apparently a continuous re-heat cycle for the fixing drum.

Interesting thanks so much for sharing this Jay1, I get overloaded incredibly easily, now that I've finally escaped what I see as lifelong constant dissociation, I'm much more aware of everything & it's got far worse, I really don't know what to do because nearly everything sends me into overload & confusion, seems like my dissociative state served a purpose in the past, though I'm so much happier being totally with it now , just so much less functional & lonely, sitting in front of a computer all day every day listening to music isn't much fun at all.

I feel really trapped, wish I had some structured social group to go to or something, anything structured reduces my overload & confusion if with the same people, surroundings etc because my brain doesn't have to process that on top of every other thing it doesn't leave me thinking about what the heck's going on so much.

I don't know if this may relate to the drugs action or what you're talking about, it just popped up in my head when I read what you were talking about.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypokalemi ... timulation

I guess you can say I have depersonalisation after sensory overload. When I was younger it was like a constant thing, though my sensory issues weren't as noticeable. I was more hypo sensitive.
I also lose the ability to walk properly and have more anxiety. Not socially anxiety, the type of anxiety where you feel uncomfortable in an environment and just want to go home.

I would rather take my sensory issues than 550mg that will probably have adverse health effects. My sensory issues though horrible and debilitating at times saves me from anxiety. Or what decreases sensory issues triggers the anxiety.

I still feel completely disconnected from everyone around me, even when not going through sensory overload. These sensory issues got worse when I developed seizures so they may be connected.

Wow this is very interesting to me, these sensory descriptions. It's amazing when questor describes this music as a trigger, how suggestive it is sometimes. I will also get drawn to these kinds of shows/movies. StuartN describes this combination "sound / feeling / image". This description is absolutely unmistakable. I will also get drawn towards that specific sensation and will seek it out again and again. Like the photocopier, I would listen to certain kinds of music that are very startling to me in an unusual way. I would obbsess over a photocopier if that happened to me, just like I would obsess over an unusual sounding song . That is also interesting Delic, I feel like when the intensity of my dissociation was the highest, I felt I had more control over hiding the symptoms of AD (although I didn't know they were symptoms of anything back then, it seemed then like I was hiding something of myself). I could fake them much better, but it was causing me a lot of systemic muck-ups that weren't good at all. I might look into that potassium idea. Pensieve, I too feel like there will always be some disconnect, and am also familiar with this physical uncomfortableness, but I'm prone to attribute it to social aspects, because the "I just want to go home" cognition for me arises from both an environmental want, but more importantly a need to get away from awkward social situations. I go all meta-crazy though sometimes and will get anxious thinking that others will get some sense of me wanting to leave, which makes it worse, etc. I see some connections between AS and depersonalization but the medication didn't change the aspergian sensory experiences. I revel in these other experiences, but the depersonalization was debilitating.


I feel like allot of the stuff that affects us in these ways are intriguing but are also terrifying. I have unknowingly been trying to stamp out these triggers by relentlessly having a go at them. It's always those terrible noises from Eco the Dolphin on sega genesis that freak me out, but then why the hell do I have a sound clip of those noises on my iPod? Sorry for the rant but I tend to do that sometimes.

Really appreciate the posts.