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Hello! I don't even really know where to start. I wasn’t sure which area of the board this would fall so I apologize if its in the wrong section. I am here for my 15 year old daughter, undiagnosed, hoping to figure out what's next and who to see ect…First of all I will explain about my daughter. I know no one on here can give a diagnosis, as I am a nurse ) What I AM looking for however are maybe similar stories or experiences?? The word that I have often used to describe my daughter whenever trying to figure out what is wrong is "socially awkward". Her main problem is communication. She is an all honors class student, all A's, NEVER and I do mean never, had any discipline problems in school. Quite the contrary actually. I would have been excited if they had called me and said "your daughter is disrupting class". Not because of the disruption mind you, but because she be showing SOME emotion.

I have four kids, 2 boys, 2 girls, and she is the oldest. I have been married for 18 years now to the same man, quite an accomplishment these days..The story of BRE: She was born just a few weeks early, after having a difficult pregnancy of preterm labor, small birthweight baby for a 38 weeker at 5 pounds. I do not smoke/drink/do drugs of any kind, PERIOD, ever. Not that this has anything at all to do with whatever is wrong, but I want to include as much info as possible. I figure I will print this out and take it to her DR appt. Tuesday, maybe he will get some insight as well. Short labor, epidural, 2 hours before birth I had a fever, and when she was born she also had a fever, I was strep B negative. After birth, although she was small, she was ok, or so I thought, being a first time mom. She did cry all the time, from the time she was 2 weeks old until she was 12 weeks old, NONSTOP at night. Colic they said. During this time, she was developing normally, gaining weight, all that jazz. She slept with her head to one side no matter what device we used to keep it in place, so she still has a flat spot on her head to this day lol. As far as medically speaking, the only illness she had as a baby were recurrent ear infections. She did get choked frequently, held her head to one side, and I remember questioning the Dr repeatedly if she could actually see or not. I seriously thought she was blind. I don’t even really know why now, but something about her eyes made me think that. But she wasn't, thankfully. She did however for several years, watch tv with her head turned the side and her looking out of the corner of her eyes. They thought it was a hearing deficit because she had constant ear infections until she was 9 months old. Antibiotics for 9 solid months, no stopping. Finally had tubes put in, as well as an enlarged lymph node in her neck. During this ,she could finally sit up but barely, and roll over (not every well), but definitely no signs of crawling.

She was what everyone called a very STIFF baby. When you held her, she held herself away from you, all the time. Although I thought this was cute, I definitely think it applies to a possible diagnosis: When she would sit up, starting at about 10 months old, she would twirl her hands and feet in circles continually very fast. It was so funny and of course everyone thought it was cute. If she heard a noise, she would stop twirling and listen, and then go back to twirling. Over time she finally stopped thank goodness lol. Once she had the tubes put in, her physical progress turned a corner, and she was able to sit up, roll over, and started trying to crawl finally. Although I worked with her daily, she didn’t take her first steps until she was 18 months old. When she learned to walk, she always veered to one side, like a drunk man. By this time, she is talking, normally if not advanced. She just spoke very fast and mumbled so a lot of people didn’t understand her. Not to mention that she seemed like a "Im better than you" kinda baby and only spoke when she wanted to. When her brother was born, she absolutely hated him. We had to keep her out of the room with him for a while because she would try and scratch/bite him anytime she got the chance. As far as her physical development was concerned, by this time she was on track and I never thought twice about it again. She did have an attachment to a blanket that she had since birth, as well as a ty beanie baby dog named sparky. I remember we left it at the golf course at one point, and they had to come out after hours and help us find it. She played with it until the blanket was literally in shreds, fixed many many times, and it finally just fell apart. She found a piece of the yellow fabric in the trash and just went into fits. Somehow we moved past that part, but getting another blanket.

She was just so temperamental as a toddler, I can remember so many times we tried to go out to out with her and she would just go ballistic, screaming and throwing what I called a tantrum, and there was no IGNORING it, we had to leave, after all it would be rude to stay with her screaming like that. SO, we just didn't go out to eat! So she starts preschool when she's four and does well, academically speaking. Her teacher was the first one to notice that something wasn't "right" so to speak. She didn't know what, but she called us in to tell us about these episodes of "daydreaming" that she was having. She explained it as her walking across the room, and she would stop midway and stare into space, and wouldn't respond to anything during that time, and then come out of it and go on as normal. So off to the DR we went, diagnosis: petit mal seizures. Put her on meds, and all was well, seizure wise. Socially, she was just plain strange, if I may say that. I can remember family saying things like "she is just not a loving child!" The way she responded (or not most of the time) was with a mean look. While all the other kids in the family played together, loved on everyone, she was the outsider, she would not let them hug her, or pick her up, period. Of course as time went on, she needed glasses by age five, due to astigmatism in both eyes.

She progressed pretty typical or so it seemed. I knew she acted different as far as socially, but I just thought it had to do with her not bonding with me/husband when she was in infant due to the ear infections. By the time she was nine, we had moved to Colorado, she had not had any symptoms of seizures in many years, so the neuro, took her off the seizure meds, as petit mal seizures can be outgrown. She did fine without seizure meds. We ended up back in Texas, and fast forward a couple of years. She went through junior high transition really well, although she would not do things like cheerleading ect…She did however develop a fascination for basketball, and it literally became her life, in fifth grade. That’s all she talked about and all she wanted to do, period. She played basketball in 7th grade, but was very uncoordinated so she had a hard time acclimating to the level she wanted to be at. She was a perfectionist concerning the sport, and was religious about what the coaches told them to do or not do such as no drinking cola's. She was very very hard on herself if she didn’t do well in a game, which she did ok, but not an NBA star for sure, which is where she wants to head lol. She also has scoliosis, so we had to go to the DR to get released so she could actually play. I was very encouraged about her playing basketball because I thought it would help her social interaction skills. She did not (and still doesn’t) talk on the phone. She has never been to a sleepover, or even a birthday party of her many friends. The funny thing is, she is popular without trying to be. They all love her, maybe because they feel as if they need to protect her, I am not sure.

By ninth grade, I had just graduated nursing school and started working as a nurse (literally the second day!!) and I got a call that she had "passed out" and was unresponsive. They brought her to the hospital I was working at. She was diagnosed again with seizure activity, and off to Dallas Childrens hospital we went. The only real medical complaint she had was headaches. She had been complaining of headaches quite often, but I attributed it to hormones. She was put on a seizure medication that made the headaches worse, so they finally switched her to one for headaches/seizures both. It helped tremendously, weaning the headaches down to about twice a week. She is extremely extremely light sensitive, she feels like it blinds her, she cant walk outside without sunglasses on.

Some things of note up to this point….Still has poor social skills. She can communicate over the internet ok, although most of the time its posts about feeling alone, ect….Depression comes and goes, sometimes worse than others, although it tends to be better during basketball season. She rarely ever cries although she mentions it sometimes that she doesn't know what she "can't". Now it is clearly known to everyone in the family that "you know I don't like to be touched, don't be hugging me!". She does not maintain eye contact, hardly ever, although she seems to with her brother (the one born after her), they tend to be able to talk whenever no one else can. She is what everyone at school calls VERY QUIET and VERY SHY. She will not voice her opinion about much of anything at school because she is afraid it will be the wrong thing. Just recently, the girls were late to class due to the coach holding them over too long at practice that morning which resulted in a tardy. Well, shes never been tardy, and the school has a really stupid policy of if you are tardy (doesn’t matter if it’s a first offense or not), you can either pop out (meaning get pops or licks or paddling, whatever you want to call it), or you can go to after school detention. She had never had a paddling or been to detention, so when she was told to go to the principal's office, she went, and didn’t try to explain why she was tardy, just took the paddling, while scared to death. Of course I about went off the deep end lol because I don't agree with corporal punishment, and had always signed papers saying NO that I would deal with the kids when they got home if they misbehaved. Well since she had never been to the office or been in trouble, the school didn’t realize I had signed the paper and they didn't bother to look. She didn't bother to open her mouth and tell them no. She said she just didn’t know what to say. When talked to, she will respond, and she tries to make small talk, but it is very weird small talk. When I drop her off at school in the morning, as soon as we start getting close to the school, she starts getting clammed up and stiff, and by the time she gets out of the car she is as stiff as a board, walking in like a robot, eyes averted, with her arms very stiffly at her side. I of course suspect she has some anxiety issues as well, as I also suffer from anxiety.

This brings us to the point of where we are at now. She is a tenth grader, still perfect grades, but as the time draws near for her to graduate, I get more and more concerned with how she will be able to function in society. She cant cook for herself, we have tried, and she usually begs her brother to do it for her as she just cant seem to follow the instructions or something. She washes all her own clothes, and sometimes get on a cleaning streak of cleaning like a mad woman. Most of the time though, she is listening to her music, laying on her bed, for hours at a time. She keeps asking about driving, but there is no way she could safely get behind the wheel of a car. Her emotions are still wacky, she has a flat look on her face most of the time, talking a monotone voice, usually very quietly unless shes mad about something and then she can raise the damn roof! But when she gets mad, there is no reasoning with her, PERIOD. First of all when she gets upset, instead of explaining why she is upset or what has upset her and talking it out, she just stutters and says " I don't, I can't ," over and over, without ever even finishing the sentence. She is mostly unconcerned with others feelings, if feels like she doesn’t even love me most of the time, although I do everything I possibly can for her. She goes back to the neurologist this week. My next question is, what tests can they do? Who diagnosis it? Does it sound like autism, PDD-NOS? I just know I have searched for answers for a long time, always telling myself "I don’t know whats wrong, but I know that something is…". I can't ignore it any longer, I want her to have HELP and be able to function in society! To have a boyfriend and get married and have a career of her choice! So whats next in this process? Thank you SOOO soo much for listening..

sorry, I tried to post a pic, resized it to the size it stated, and it still didn't let me. Oh well lol!

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, paediatrician or autism expert.

Okay now that messy bit is out of the way... I read through all of what you said. That has got to be one of the most thorough reports I have seen on here! While I can't offer a 100% diagnosis I can say it does sound a lot like she is somewhere on the spectrum. A lot of the baby/childhood behaviours sounded a lot like me (I am HFA or Low functioning Aspergers depending on which doctor does the assessment!), especially the stiffness when being held. My Mum describes me turning into a 'board' when she tried to wrap me up in a hug. As soon as the grip was loosened, I would drop through their arms and wobble off. I was a very poorly coordinated child so I did wobble rather than walk.

It does sound like your daughter has sensory difficulties, especially with touch and sight. I too look at things out of the corner of my eyes sometimes. It is because my brain takes thousands of pictures and unlike most people, they can't be erased. Looking out of the corner stops the intensity being so strong.

As for the monotonous voice, that is also quite a common ASD symptom. I vary from a monotone voice to a high pitched 'squeaky' voice when I get over excited. The high pitched squeaky voice annoys a lot of people though so I often drop back to more of a monotone.

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

I'm going through diagnosis myself (at age 28.) and my daughter probably will as she's showing similar traits as I had at her age.From what I read alot of it sticks out as autistic traits but as you rightly said nobody here can give you a diagnosis and say oh yes she has XYZ case closed.

I'm not sure how it works over there but I personally went to my doctor and said I think I may have this and he has referred me on to someone else who will evaluate me and see whether I then need to go on to an autism specialist. So my advice would be to see your doctor, tell him / her you suspect she may be on the spectrum, list the traits she has and perhaps print out some info about it for your doctor. Hopefully someone else can give you more relevant information, oh and just an idea but you may want to edit your first post to include some paragraphs. It is a long read but would be easier on the eye if it were split up a bit.

The sometimes depressed thing, there is something known as PMDD which is severe pms. I get super depressed and angry when I have it. It might seem like normal pms, but then I start thinking about suicide. Anyway just thought I'd tell you about that. She might just be a depressed teenager. At that age they want to fit in.

I was into basketball too in fifth grade.

She sounds like she has a lot of health problems. She could have Asperger's but it's hard to tell because of them. Personally for me, medication increases my sensory sensitivities, so much I want to stay away from seizure meds.

OK, AS symptoms wise:

I relate to her not being able to say what is bothering her. I'm very incomprehensible when I'm upset. It's just that telling people personal deeply emotional stuff is hard. My accent goes monotone when I do or I cry. I was a very disinterested child too. My family is happy now that I talk and at least attempt to hug, though I do it rather stiffly.
She does sound like she could be on the autism spectrum. PDD is when there aren't enough symptoms of autism but it can be either mild to severe. I think she fits at least Asperger's. It does seem she gets into little habits and obsessions.

Does she talk at school at all? I had selective mutism which I still am recovering from. It's where you talk somewhere you are comfortable and are silent somewhere else, like at school. It's severe social anxiety. I always seem to have severe social anxiety. Anyway, just something else I wanted to tell you about.

If she gets diagnosed she will get the help, just make sure she wants to have a boyfriend and get married. I certainly don't and always felt the pressure to pursue that. You need to work on cooking and maybe preparing her for a job. At 25 I'm still not good at either of these so getting a diagnosis early will help. As for cooking you might need to look at different ways to teach her. We like to know exactly what to do before we do it and some of us do better at hands on learning, or have it told to us that this is something that we really need to learn. Seriously, I never thought school = employment. There's just things that don't enter our mind. Also, we must really plan to do things. Don't just get your daughter off the couch when she's really into a show and explain to her how to follow a recipe. That's what happened to me and both mother and daughter had a meltdown.

Best of luck to you both.

Someone asked if she talks at school....Yes if she is asked a direct question she will answer it, and she says she attempts to talk to her friends at the lunch table, but most of the time she just sits quietly wishing she could join in with them laughing and talking. I have talked to her about autism before, she doesn't seem very open to anything concerning something being different, she hated having seizures again because all eyes were on her as she seized in the classroom and fell out of her desk onto the floor, and she didnt know how to respond when everyone talked to her about it after she returned from the hospital.

Can I ask some of you a question? Do you guys have normal lives? I mean like jobs and such? I tried to get her a part time job at the antique mall, just helping the lady at the counter. She didn't know what to say to customers. Apparently it wasn't pleasant lol, she didnt want to go back...

Alright, I read it all
I'm an aspie mother of at least one aspie boy ( turning 10 soon) and a 2 y old girl who has traits of both sides.
The first thing I can remember with both my children is the "at arms lenght" carrying as babies. They'd be sitting on my forearm, holding my upper body away from them. I do shower daily, so I guess it was the physical contact that they didn't like. My daughter was worse than my son in that respect, you just couldn't hold her. As a very small baby, she'd wriggle until you put her back down. I couldn't even give her a bottle myself after she was maybe 4 months old (I think), I had to put her in a cot with a rolled up shirt holding the bottle up so she could drink by herself, until she mastered the holding of the bottle. So, pretty bad touch aversion...Now she's 2, and she'll hug you, but if you hug back she pulls away....so I recieve hugs passively
The stiff walk to school I see in my son a lot. He walks normally around the house, but each morning on the way to school he looks like he forgot how to walk properly. I was like that too, I remember the stress of being observed by other children, knowing they find you weird just makes you forget how you're supposed to walk...which reinforces the stress, it's a vicious circle.
I understand her "I can't, I won't" thing. Sometimes as a teen I'd just answer "no" to anything related to "how are you feeling", because I was probably on the way to a shutdown, and speaking makes it worse... on those occasions just give her time to relax, do whatever makes her comfortable and when it's over she might be able to tell you something like "I just didn't feel good", which is already big

Psychologists are the ones who diagnose AS/autism.

Just wondering who I need to rake her too

Why are you not taking her for an assesment? She obviously has impariments and is not normal. A label gives a person a framework by which to face life. It empowers them. Get it done for her.