My dad doesn't want my service dog coming on vacation

Post Reply New Topic

My parents are divorsed and I'm going to visit my dad in New York for Christmas. I have a wounderful service dog that I trained for myself and I want her to come with my to New York. She is a certifed service dog and she really helps me a lot. She is an autism service dog but she mainly serves as my emotainal support. I feel safer and calmer when I have her with me. I'm also not as scared to talk to people when I have her. But my dad doesnt want her to come with us because to get to New York we are flying. He thinks the dog will just stress every one out and it will be a pain to have her with us. He doesnt care that she helps me. He doesnt want her coming. I'm going to tell him that she has to come and I'm going to fight with him about it. How could I get him to just agree and let her come?

Service dogs are not pets and they are very well trained to not act like a typical dog. They are very obedient and quiet and clean. Perhaps your dad doesn't understand service dogs and he sees your dog as any regular dog so he thinks your dog will disrupt people and bark and chew on stuff she isn't supposed to chew on. Perhaps you can inform him about service dogs and tell him how they don't act like typical dogs.

Your dad says that he's worried it will be a hassle for the dog to stay with the people you're staying with. Perhaps you can solve this problem by calling the people you are visiting, explaining your situation, explaining that your dog is well-trained and that you will be the one caring for the dog. If your hosts agree that having your dog visit with you would be all right, then maybe your dad would allow your dog.

Ask your dad first before you call them. If you called them first, he would likely consider it "going behind his back".

Even though I'm against having dogs for emotional support as service dogs, rather than practical support - see the thread on Should Aspies Have Service Dogs if you are interested in my opinions on dog vs. self-calming techniques - I can give you some ideas about talking to your dad.

He maynot think the dog is as well trained because you trained him yourself. That would be what popped into my head immediately if one of my kids told me they had a very well trained dog that they trained themself, because they have absolutely no experience with professional animal training. That could be at the basis of his problem. I don't know how well or not the dog is trained, but you said he's certified and I'm assuming that he goes lots of places with you and things go well. You could ask him about this. If he is afraid that the dog isn't well trained, and you could offer to provide "references" for him, people who know and have seen the dog and can back you up on this.

Also, if you are staying with people there or visiting people there, they may not like animals in the house, or they may already haveanimals who they will have to put outside or lock in the bedroom while your dog is there. I have dogs and if another dog came in my house, even a service dog, they would just attack him. THey don't hurt people or other types of animals, but another dog is what upsets them. Dogs can't distinguish between a service dog and a dog that is trying to come in and usurp their "territory".

Another thing is, he may be tryin to cast disapproval on your mother. Seriously. It may be a "well, my ex wife said OK to the dog, but I don't" kind of thing. Divorced parents use kids for that quite a bit, from my experience. I have a friend who is recently divorced and her ex's actions about the kids just scream "getting back at my ex" You could ring this up to him in a questioning, not accusing way if he keeps insisting you not bring your dog, once you have countered all his other arguments. Make sure if you do that you say "It will not hurt Mom in any way if I don't bring the dog, it will only hurt me"

And I agree with another poster who said just tel him that if they dog doesn't come, you don't go. If you truly feel that you need the dog that much and won't have as good a time without him, that is.

Frances