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Mountain Goat
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30 Apr 2020, 8:04 am

I am ok but I am feeling fragile.

It started when I went to play my nephews online car racing game and he was trying to wind me up by playing loud funny notes on the electric keyboard organ. (He thinks it is funny when I can't concentrate on two sounds at the same time). Then he wanted me to play a Xbox game called Halo. I like this game but am not too good at it these days. I used to be ok at it, but since the last few burnouts I have lost my touch. My ability to think quick and aim and shoot quick is no longer there. (The mind to body response is not as sharp as it used to be?)
Anyway. My nephew dominated the game and at the end of the match I felt a bit funny. I realized that I was feeling fragile and I believe it is due to the mental stress of the game. I was concentrating too much!
I am going for a nice walk by myself now as stress relief. I am going to free my mind a bit and just look at things. I hope I don't start glitching between unmasking ad masking as I feel slightly along these lines.
I am ok though. I am writing to ask if anyone else has been in such a situation which I can only describe as feeling fragile? I don't know how else to describe it. It is the type of feeling one gets when one is ill with a virus (I am not ill) but it is different as this is on a mental side of things. I need to take that walk soon though. Get my coat. Bring a drink of something fizzy and sugary (I need this when I feel this way) and go for a walk to look at the views. :)


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jimmy m
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30 Apr 2020, 8:26 am

A nature walk sounds like a good remedy for these times. The coronavirus has changed everyones routines. Change is a stressor.


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Karamazov
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30 Apr 2020, 8:31 am

Yeah, I know the feeling.
A bit of calm quiet time in the great outdoors sounds like a good idea to me too.
I take a drink, a sandwich and pencil & notebook with me.
(just in case an interesting thought or sight occurs)

Hope you feel better soon (((MG)))



domineekee
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30 Apr 2020, 9:00 am

Sounds like you need to unwind with a walk and a couple of naps.



Mountain Goat
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30 Apr 2020, 9:42 am

Thanks people. I took a walk which was just over a mile and half of it was down old paths that have hardly been used since the motor car was invented. Part of it goes past an old cottage. I saw cows, sheep, lots of greenery, an abandoned old tractor and things. I was in my own little world of wonder.


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Karamazov
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30 Apr 2020, 9:49 am

:D excellent :D are you feeling more yourself now then?

You just reminded me of the green hills of childhood. :D
I grew up in Wales (Montgomeryshire-Shropshire borderland), beautiful place to be alone under the empty skies. :D



Mountain Goat
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30 Apr 2020, 9:54 am

Karamazov wrote:
:D excellent :D are you feeling more yourself now then?

You just reminded me of the green hills of childhood. :D
I grew up in Wales (Montgomeryshire-Shropshire borderland), beautiful place to be alone under the empty skies. :D


I was looking at a castle on the land the other side if the estuary. Took a little while to see as the stone blends into its surroundings. I love looking at the sandy shores below.


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Karamazov
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30 Apr 2020, 10:01 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Karamazov wrote:
:D excellent :D are you feeling more yourself now then?

You just reminded me of the green hills of childhood. :D
I grew up in Wales (Montgomeryshire-Shropshire borderland), beautiful place to be alone under the empty skies. :D


I was looking at a castle on the land the other side if the estuary. Took a little while to see as the stone blends into its surroundings. I love looking at the sandy shores below.


Sounds like a lovely way to calm off a stressful day :D

I used to like walking up to near the top of the big hill behind the church and watching the clouds roll over the moors & mountains on the western horizon.
Exploring the little stony brooks in steep wooded glens was also enjoyable.
(And i collected skeletal remains of birds, rodents and, once, a sheep: still have the best pieces)



Mountain Goat
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30 Apr 2020, 10:05 am

Karamazov wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Karamazov wrote:
:D excellent :D are you feeling more yourself now then?

You just reminded me of the green hills of childhood. :D
I grew up in Wales (Montgomeryshire-Shropshire borderland), beautiful place to be alone under the empty skies. :D


I was looking at a castle on the land the other side if the estuary. Took a little while to see as the stone blends into its surroundings. I love looking at the sandy shores below.


Sounds like a lovely way to calm off a stressful day :D

I used to like walking up to near the top of the big hill behind the church and watching the clouds roll over the moors & mountains on the western horizon.
Exploring the little stony brooks in steep wooded glens was also enjoyable.
(And i collected skeletal remains of birds, rodents and, once, a sheep: still have the best pieces)


I don't have to walk up as I am already up as I live on top (Or rather quite near the top).


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Karamazov
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30 Apr 2020, 10:14 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Karamazov wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Karamazov wrote:
:D excellent :D are you feeling more yourself now then?

You just reminded me of the green hills of childhood. :D
I grew up in Wales (Montgomeryshire-Shropshire borderland), beautiful place to be alone under the empty skies. :D


I was looking at a castle on the land the other side if the estuary. Took a little while to see as the stone blends into its surroundings. I love looking at the sandy shores below.


Sounds like a lovely way to calm off a stressful day :D

I used to like walking up to near the top of the big hill behind the church and watching the clouds roll over the moors & mountains on the western horizon.
Exploring the little stony brooks in steep wooded glens was also enjoyable.
(And i collected skeletal remains of birds, rodents and, once, a sheep: still have the best pieces)


I don't have to walk up as I am already up as I live on top (Or rather quite near the top).


Yes: you’ve said you have good views across the land before :)
My parents house is right down the bottom of a little valley, with the brook at the bottom of the garden, so every direction was up apart from towards the nearest little town! :D
My parents used to take us kite-spotting (the birds) and blackberry picking in the hills.



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30 Apr 2020, 10:45 am

(((((( :heart: MG :heart: )))))) what a wondrous place you live in. You are in my heart and thoughts.


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Mountain Goat
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30 Apr 2020, 11:07 am

Thank you. I am ok so no worries. I wrote to see if anyone else gets the same. I feel like this event has set back my recovery from the last burnout somewhat, though it may just be a temporary odd event that I will bounce back from.


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Teach51
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30 Apr 2020, 11:17 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Thank you. I am ok so no worries. I wrote to see if anyone else gets the same. I feel like this event has set back my recovery from the last burnout somewhat, though it may just be a temporary odd event that I will bounce back from.


I know it's not the same but each attack of CPTSD also leaves me completely depleted of energy and motivation. I also have something milder but similar to your shutdowns. I need to allow myself the time necessary for recovery. I am so happy that you have such a beautiful environment to replenish yourself in.


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skibum
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01 May 2020, 2:57 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
I am writing to ask if anyone else has been in such a situation which I can only describe as feeling fragile?
Yes


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Mountain Goat
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01 May 2020, 4:50 pm

Thankfully it only lasted about half a day, but in the past it lasted for a few weeks. I am finding the need to take things easy. For example, my brother suggested I should study online and then get a radio ham licence. (He is into it and is hoping to pass himself. I am more of a quiet one that listens but does not talk when it comes to CB's and things like that).
But anyway, the thought of pushing myself to study is just not on at the moment. If it is one of my special interests, the studying is liberating so is not so much of an issue... But to try to study a different subject when I have been feeling like this is not a good idea. I am glad that I realize this and have found out what was causing me issues as in the past I would have and ended up in a right mess and not known how I got there.


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Lace-Bane
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03 May 2020, 10:12 am

something similar seems had, though in spending a lot of time in introspection because the body has become almost too heavy to bear, and doctors are trusted to have checked for everything over the years... it has started to make sense. this is absolute horror, the physical symptoms are like more extreme versions of the severe panic attacks that can be recalled from being younger, except non-concern has been disciplined for the self for the last few years since this has started, and been growing significantly, if not exponentially, worse.

alexithymia can get so bad, but it never clicked for having been cultivating a strongly feeling heart for others... it’s pretty clear if to peel through the numb layers, everything needed in life(to live, instead of exist as a prisoner.) has been sacrificed for or by others, and nothing of that has been processed while voluntarily locked inside this dead end. which... isn’t much compared to what women have faced since the dawn of humanity.


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