Theory of mind and reputation

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So, I'm thinking about this and I'm wondering how theory of mind deficits in autism is related to concerns/thinking about ones reputation. Reputation basically seems to be a collection of others' thoughts/impressions about you, and so it would seem that worrying about ones reputation would require a sufficiently advanced ToM. Anyone confirm/deny this?

Not necessarily. Worrying about ones reputation does not require much TOM. It requires enough TOM to know that you have a reputation. So Id say most aspies probably do have the TOM to know that they have a reputation. You can worry about your reputation but have little clue to how your reputation actually is. You can be tied into a worry that it is really bad. Considering that us aspies get it reinforced by NTs that were doing something wrong can cause us to worry about our reputation without really reading people.

I have no idea what others think about me. I usually can't remember that others think about me or each other at all.

Your ToM is obviously less affected and you don't appear to have tellingly high aspie scores, so I'm not sure if you could project your experiences on the "real aspies". However, I do believe that what you say probably does immediately apply to the quasi-aspies or almost-aspies(or aspies whose ToM have been spared), such as you and I (And, I too have little idea what my reputation is among my "peer group". I personally doubt I have one considering I'm not really 'present' enough in my peer group to have one.).

I don't recall worrying much unless someone makes explicit reference.

I am aware I have a reputation, and I am aware of what at least some of that reputation is because others have told me.

Do I care about it? Well, it's nice to know people respect me. It's frustrating when I know people view me in negative ways. Do I spend a lot of time worrying about it? Not really. Do I think about it under most circumstances? Not really.

I was referring to getting negative reinforcement from NTs and paranoia. Some sorta combo. I guess I see what your saying, in most cases aspies who dont have TOM arent aware of there reputation. And as I sat back and thought back to highschool and realized that I was unaware of reputation due to weak TOM. As my TOM got progressively better, I recall becoming more and more scared to the point where I was scared to interact and I would avoid people at times. My response was quick cause I'm scared to death about my reputation and what people think of me, to the pt where I dwell. But yes back in highschool I had no idea what my repuation was. I suspected the kids didn't like me, but I was simply suspicious.

If someone doesn't sign my pay cheque or isn't related to me, I'm not concerned what they think of me. I am sure they are equally unconcerned about my opinion of them.

I'd say not. We suffer fairly constant criticism from the people around us, and that's enough to promote worry about other people's opinions, especially when we don't have the theory of mind that allows accurate prediction of their reactions.

I'm not sure what kind of reputation I have. Is that like trustworthiness?
I like to keep the house clean because I am clean and people know I'm clean, and if I didn't clean up after myself that would not be true to myself. I think I'm confused about this whole thing.

I'm unconcerned what my friends think of me. Maybe I don't have a reputation to uphold. If I do I'm unsure what it is.

I am excellent at telling what others think of me, but it is something what I REALLY cannot explain. Most people misunderstand me on this and say, ''but it could just be you thinking that.'' No. Something just tells me that this person likes/dislikes me. I can tell if somebody thinks I am weird, by their body language and everything. I know people will still say, ''but you're an Aspie, you can't read body language so you're just misinterpreting everyone all the time.'' Saying things like that doesn't work on me. I just always know that I'm right - and a situation always comes along to prove that I was right about how that person thought about me. Perhaps I'm psychic, I don't know, but I just get this feeling, I can sense this vibe in someone. I really can't explain what I mean because whether I tell an NT or an Aspie, nobody gets what I'm trying to say.

I have no interest in what others think of me at all, but...I do not like misunderstandings; think whatever you like of me but please get the facts straight.

Do you really mean "worrying" about reputation, or do you mean "wondering?" Not sure. There's a difference though.

Figuring out, without outrightly asking others, what your reputation is, would require pretty good ToM skills. Actually, I would say pretty advanced ToM skills to actually be accurate. ToM isn't necessarily about accuracy though. It's about whether or not we even try to figure out what others think. It's about whether or not we can even conceive the fact that others may have perspective that's totally foreign from our own.

I wonder sometimes what others think of me, but I never "worry" about it. I try to figure it out too, which means I have some level of ToM, but I never know for sure if I'm right until I ask people to tell me. Even then, I never know how honest people are when they tell me.

Yeah, there's a relationship there, but how it relates depends a lot on the exact nature of your question. "Worrying?" No, I don't think so. "Wondering or contemplating, and trying to figure it out?" Yes, I think that requires ToM.

Can I ask a somewhat loaded question? I'm really just curious. Something about how you put this doesn't make sense to me. I'm wondering if you can help me understand it.

If you don't like misunderstandings, and want others to "get the facts straight," how can you expect no misunderstandings or others to get their facts straight without being interested in what others think of you?

I'm wondering because my experience has been that when I don't show any interest in other's thoughts, that's when misunderstandings and others getting the facts wrong, seems to happen most.

I only have a vague awareness of what others think of me but through the use of CBT, I have trained my mind not to care what others think.

That principle applies to just about any situation. So many people think that opinion = statement of fact.

I don't own a forum nor do I moderate one, I don't sell things on ebay so repuation doesn't matter for me. I don't care what people think of me.

My ex who was aspie cared too much what people thought of him. Whatever he thought of himself, he assumed others would think that of him so I don't think it take TOM to care about repuation. He was just paranoid and always took other peoples words and then worried others would think that of him if he did this or that like he thought if you go see a rated G movie by yourself, people would think you're a pedophile and I told him I don't care if they think that of me, they can keep their kids close to them all they want waiting for me to snatch their kid which will never happen. He had all these weird ideas in his head and I told him whoever thinks like that is stupid but now I wonder if that is what he thinks of people when they do those things so he assumes others thought that too. So basically I just called him an idiot. But back then I didn't know that. Or maybe it was his TOM issues that made him paranoid about what others thought of him. Things he thought, he thought others would think that too.