Safe Spaces for People with ASDs

Post Reply New Topic

For quite some time, I have been thinking about the issue of whether it is worth it to try and change the behaviours of individuals on the spectrum in support-related settings. After all, an underlying concept of support is to assist someone to grow and make progress. There is, however, a difference between supporting someone in positive, enabling ways, and setting an air of ableism and inferiority among the participants.

For example, a school in my province has an ASD support program, but there are some issues I have with it. For one, the people who are supposed to be enabling the members (who are on the spectrum) seem to``correct`` the members when they do something obviously autistic. I was a member of this support group for a bit, so I have seen this happen on different occasions...I originally thought nothing of it, but now I feel that something needs to be done about it.

What we need more of are what I like to call `safe spaces` for people on the spectrum where they are encouraged to act as naturally as possible around accepting peers without people jumping in and telling them that things are off. This is because I know that people with ASDs get enough of that in real life, and they need a space to feel secure without their every action being scrutinized. In order for a person to feel valued in a support situation, you have to accept that there will be things about them that will be `off`. It does not mean that you can bombard them with messages that they are different, or that there is so much about them that needs to change. Let them work through their own issues at their own pace. If they ask for help with a particular behavior, or have a goal that requires change of behaviour, help can be offered, but having unsolicited corrections of things that are unrelated is a little intrusive.

When I was at an ASD conference in Ohio, I talked extensively with a presenter on the spectrum who mentors young adults with disabilities, just like I do. Our discussion was centred upon society`s implied limits or boundaries with traditional mentoring approaches, and how we are benefitting the people involved because we stretch beyond that. His willingness to discuss sensitive and often taboo issues with the people he supports made his approach very effective and highly valued by his mentees and their parents. In other words, he was a ``safe person`` for them to talk about these topics with.

Instead of continuing to say, `that`s inappropriate` like so many people I know do, he`ll support the situation, no matter what it is. I then asked about special interests, and if he ever limits them among the people he supports. He (like myself) said that he does not limit them because he knows that the people use him as a release to let these interests out. Knowing how much the girls I am mentoring appreciate this as well, and how much they value me as a result, I began to value the concepts of ``safe space`` and ``safe person`` even more.

I`m really interested to hear the forum`s thoughts and comments on this issue, as I`m not even sure if this has been discussed before. What do think of the ideas of safe spaces and people? Does it let people get away with behaviors, or is an environment where they can be themselves much more valuable?

I think that the idea of a safe space, where a person could let go of what ever kind of facade they have built up to seem "normal", sounds wonderful. I would love to have a place to go where I could be the real me without judgement. I would probably have a lot fewer problems with stress and anxiety.

There aren't any safe spaces, except being completely alone.

I agree with this thread, some very good points were made.......I mean trying to make someone function in a way that does not match up with their brain wiring does not seem like a very good way to approach the issue. The focus should be on giving them a supportive environment where they are ok to be themselves and work on skills they do have so maybe they can put them to use.....rather than always focusing on trying to make them act 'normal' and constantly pointing out flaws that must be corrected.

I don't know if I'm taking this too literally, but I would love actual "Safe Spaces" where you could go to cool off. Almost like a mini sensory room. Soft floor and walls, the ability to turn off all the lights, perhaps some buttons where you could choose a background noise like waves or thunder. They could be dotted around like disabled toilets, but to stop people abusing the facilities you would need a key like a RADAR key to get in.
One thing that makes me anxious about being in public is knowing that there are no places you can go to wind down. The closest I can get is the library, but even that has a flow of people and I can hardly curl up on the floor without people noticing. At college as well, there is nowhere you can go to just sit in silence. I used to lie down on the floor in an empty classroom but it was embarrassing when people walked in on me, and now they've started locking all the doors between lessons so that isn't an option anymore anyway.

Guineapigged...I completely and totally agree, and I'm fairly certain this is something wanted by tons of people on the spectrum. Sensory processing difficulties, social anxiety, and trouble with managing emotions are all reasons people on the spectrum will need to "escape", so it's a real and pressing need.

When I was a little kid, I needed this a lot at school...the teachers gave me access to a quiet, isolated, distraction free "safe haven" where I could go when I was having a meltdown or on the verge of one. However, the only bad thing about this is that post-secondary schools and workplaces are not so accomodating of this.

During my last formal "job", I had a meltdown, and it freaked people out because I had to have a few minutes to calm down...and not only that, but I was bugged and asked what was wrong, and the only place I could go wasn't that private. And not only that, but I had to explain to the entire staff afterwards about my anxiety difficulties. You have no idea how embarrassing this was. I felt humiliated for a disorder that I have difficulty controlling.

Even with my anxiety today, I often get socially overwhelmed and wish for quiet, distraction free places to escape. Ducking to the bathroom works when I'm in general social situations, but during worse moments, even that doesn't work.

Sigh.
If only more places were autism-friendly.
There's so many obvious things I want to happen, the trouble is MAKING them happen.

I go to University in London and I have a safe place there; it's the small IT room for people with dyslexia, autism, mental health problems, physical disabilities etc. It's very quiet there and only registered people can enter using their card. University gets extremely stressful and even traumatising during the breaks between lectures, so my support worker (who is with me all day during uni) takes me to this IT room and we either talk things through quietly when I'm stressed, or I get on with some work while she organises things. I would not survive without a quiet place to escape to.

When I was at secondary school, the medical room was my safe place. The lights were dim, there was a really comfortable chair and a bed, and the school nurse was really good with me. If things got bad enough, I was allowed to bunk off lessons and hide in the medical room or talk to the school nurse.