Independence and being on the spectrum

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What is your living situation?
I prefer to live with my family and talk to them a lot. 9%  9%  [ 6 ]
I prefer to live with my family but I kind-of do my own thing. 25%  25%  [ 16 ]
I prefer to live with a roommate. 6%  6%  [ 4 ]
I prefer to live alone. 60%  60%  [ 39 ]
Total votes : 65

Fern
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15 Dec 2011, 1:56 am

I've read some articles here and there that say for many people on the spectrum, independent living is either not an option or is a less desirable choice. However, I myself prefer living alone. When I was young and living with my parents I had a lot of trouble with keeping my things straight from other people's, getting places on time, sleeping while other people were talking on the phone, keeping track of my keys, heck! even holding onto my wallet or purse was hard with other people's lives circulating around mine. When I was 19 though my family lost their home in a flood and I was out on my own, with nothing but a sleeping bag and a back-pack full of t-shirts, in the real world, where everyone told me I would never make it with my lack of life skills.... Yet somehow I was just fine by myself. And that is how I have been for the past five years, up until this month =_= anyway. I just moved back in with my parents while I await news from grad school (since I may have to move across the country soon). I love my family, don't get me wrong, but it takes a lot of getting used to.

Mostly, I wanted to know what your opinions are on the benefits and perils of living independently or with family,



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15 Dec 2011, 2:09 am

I've only been living semi-independently for about a month so I can't really say which one I prefer.

I'd like to have a few stressors taking off me by living with someone who will take care of me (mother) but I will never grow up. I may never grow up emotionally but I want to at least see if I can make it as an adult.

It's hard living away from home. My extra responsibilities drain me and leave little left for the stuff I really want to do. I barely go out as well and that's primary because of my sensory issues. I overload so quickly, severely.

I would like to be left on my own but when I want to escape my stupid brain saying thinking negative things it's good to hang around with some housemates, plus they make really good food.

One thing I hate is when my food goes missing. I'm going to have to put up a sign, because I've just started to live away from home and can barely afford to buy groceries every week. Stuff like that annoys me.

I don't think I could live alone anyway because I still need a bit of help to do things.


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Verdandi
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15 Dec 2011, 2:09 am

The question clashes with the answers:

I don't live independently and I live with my family right now.

I'd prefer to live alone, but I've been advised that if I do so, I should look into support staff.

So I can't really answer what you wrote, as my living situation does not match my preference.



Tamsin
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15 Dec 2011, 2:17 am

My parents have made it abundantly clear that they will not allow me to live here much longer, but I have been told that I don't have the skills to live on my own and would be better with some kind of shared living arrangement or staff of some sort. Both options sound unappealing. I know that I would prefer to live on my own, but I'm not sure if that is an option right now.



Jory
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15 Dec 2011, 2:31 am

The wording of the choices prevents me from voting. I'm living with my parents because of my inability to obtain and hold down a job, but I would prefer to live on my own, and would be doing it if I somehow came into some money.



Osakhomen
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15 Dec 2011, 4:44 am

When I went away for college, technically I was living independently... I enjoy it. I don't like having to explain myself to my strict, overbearing parents all the time. Now that I'm in-between undergrad and grad school, I live with my parents for financial reasons only. I don't want to have to struggle to make ends meet, when I don't have to at this time in my life. As soon as I know which grad school I'm going to for sure next fall, I'll probably move out sometime in the summer, with the help of my parents. Then again, I'm not ever sure if I have Asperger's, and if I do, it's probably mild... so living on my own isn't that big of a deal to me, I know I can do it.



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15 Dec 2011, 6:37 am

There wasn't an applicable option for me.
If given the choice, I would always "prefer" to live alone; in reality, I've tried it, but it didn't work. I fell into comfortable but harmful habits such as never leaving my room, only eating cereal, barely washing, until eventually it got to a point where I became so ill I had to leave university and return home.
As irritating as I find it, I do need the nagging/prompting of my parents in order to maintain an acceptable quality of life. Without them I just fall back into my comfort zone.



nikki15
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15 Dec 2011, 8:07 am

I live at home with my family, but we barely see each other or speak. So it really feels like I'm living alone though I'm not. I spend most of my time alone, and most of the time, I like it. I want to live alone, but I don't feel like I'm ready to do it just yet.



Joe90
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15 Dec 2011, 9:58 am

I prefer to be with my family and talk to them a lot (especially my mum and my auntie).


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nick007
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15 Dec 2011, 9:59 am

I lived with my parents all my life but we never had a close relationship because we had lots of problems getting along due to my AS & other issues. I doubt I'll ever be capable of living on my own partly due to my AS, physical disabilities & I develop schizophrenia like symptoms when I'm completely alone not around others after a few days but I snap out of them the moment I'm around people again. I have a high desire for companionship with one person that I can be really close to so my ideal living situation would be to live with a girlfriend/wife/partner but sense that wasn't an option on this poll I voted for I prefer to live with my family but I kind-of do my own thing


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15 Dec 2011, 10:32 am

There is no option for me, because I'm assuming by "family" you mean parents. I live with my husband and kids. I've never lived alone, but I used to want to. I could have but I didn't make enough money and it was much easier to just live at home. If I hadn't married when I did at 23, I would have eventually gotten my own place I'm sure. I couldn't stand it there with my Mother much longer.


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15 Dec 2011, 10:37 am

i find it very difficult to live with my parents, as we don't get along at all. and they've very strange and difficult and unreasonable and inconsiderate people. they've very bossy. i live alone, thank god. but didn't leave my parents' home till i turned twenty two, for mostly financial reasons.
i live alone, but i don't feel like i'm independent, because my parents bought me my apartment. i've paid rent for nine years of my life overboard, but now that i came back they bought this apartment for me, so i guess you can say they can be very supportive at times, too. it sounds like i'm putting them down when in fact they're very generous, but they have done some things i'm not going to get into right now because that's not what this is about.
anyway, my brother changed the lamp in my house several times till i got an electrician to lower it so i can fix it without climbing a ladder. and he helps me with problems with the computer i can't solve. i don't feel independent at all and my financial situation is pathetic. i get paid slightly above minimum wage and stuck in a job i hate. my parents bought me a computer as a gift, and that's why i don't feel independent. because i should've bought the computer and apartment with my own money but i don't have enough. i feel like a burden.
living along doesn't mean you're completely independent.



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15 Dec 2011, 10:58 am

I think I would prefer to live alone, but I would probably have friends, tolerable family members and aquantinces who have earned my trust over often if possible......because I can only stand being alone for so long but I would like a place to go to get away from everything when I need to. But yeah for now I have to settle for a room at my moms house and hanging out at friends/tolerable family members houses.


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15 Dec 2011, 11:10 am

My parents love having me at home. I'm in school, and I'm only going to move out when I'm well able to support myself. That's usually how it goes in my family.



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15 Dec 2011, 11:13 am

I prefer to live on my own. I can come and leave as I please, I can have a part time job if I wish. (I collect Disability and I can make up to $500 a month). I take care of my own chores and finances and I can listen to my oldies all day long without headphones if I wish.


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15 Dec 2011, 1:26 pm

I don't think I could ever live completely alone, but I'm incredibly picky about who I live with. At the moment I live with my boyfriend and this is working well. In the past I lived with roommates and this failed miserably.