Is this Wrong?
larsenjw92286
Veteran
Joined: 30 Aug 2004
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: Seattle, Washington
If we were neurotypical, it would be a problem but since we have AS it is not much of a problem.
I agree, being dxed with AS is almost like (don't take this the wrong way) an excuse for not having the same feelings as everyone else about everyone else.
I don't have AS but I often feel like this, like when something horrible happens to someone I don't really care and I'm not really shocked. Also I couldn't care less about someone else's interests unless they're the same as mine. I guess it's selfish for NT people, so I kind of made myself act like I am shocked/do feel sad or interested or whatever. After a bit I kind of believe myself now, and I can make myself feel interested.
It's worth a shot, it worked for me.
_________________
Too often history has proved the soil to be more precious than the gem it yielded.
And is this actually a truer form of caring than simply having the ability to, for instance, sit down with someone who's crying and sympathize with them? I think it is.
I find it very difficult to care about individuals, but I have great concern for the world as a whole.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism
What we got here is basically a branch of philosophy about being indifferent to emotions (mostly atleast) and take decisions based upon logic instead of emotions. While it may not be immediately appearent from the article, this still exists today.
And to a response more directed towards the first post:
I have a distinct lack of feelings/emotions compared to observations of others. For instance, I didn't react noticeably when neither a cat nor a dog passed away (not neccesarily ceased to function ) whom I had lived with for some ammount of time. (response has yet to be evaluated with a human involved) I also don't consider this unhealthy in any way neither that it should suggest sociopathic behaviour. As mentioned, a ruleset has no reason to only exist within the boundaries of emotions. Also, the consquences of ones actions should be sufficient in a case where such a ruleset does not exist.
I don't care whether so-and-so got married, or had a baby, or that someone ran over their cat. My boyfriend regales me with tales like this every day. I once tried to admit to him that I really didn't care, but he called me selfish and cold... And I can see how it DOES sound that way in a social context.
So I do the best I can and nod and smile when bored with news about poeple I really don't care about. Or raise my eyebrows & crinkle my forehead and try to look concerned, depending on the situation. A word of advice, however: be careful. If you're spacing and don't catch quite all of the story, it's really BAD to use the wrong expression...
Boyfriend: ...So then he left her with all the kids, no money and a huge debt to the bank and went to pursue a career in theatre...
Me: (nodding and smiling) Oh wow, great, awesome...
Boyfriend: What? That's not AWESOME! POOR WOMAN!...
And it's even worse if it's a person you don't know well telling the story...
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