Reading and Listening - Same Problem?

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Posts have already been made in this forum about reading issues, and I just made a realization about my conversational issues. Part of the reason it's hard for me to listen when others talk is because I do the same thing when I listen as when I read. I liked this post by Jory showing what it's like for him to read, because it can be like that for me, too. Sometimes I'm fine, but sometimes I have to read the same word, sentence, or paragraph over and over, until it finally registers. Sometimes it's even no good at all, and I have to put down whatever I'm reading and give up.

What I now realize is that, when I'm listening, I first hear the words, and then I sometimes have to replay them in my head to process them before they make sense. The worse it is, the more times I have to do the replay. But here's where listening is different: With text, I can stop and go back. But the whole time I'm trying to replay spoken words, more keep coming. The longer someone speaks, the more the strings of words pile up, until it's too much to handle. Then I have to give up and accept that there's a lost part of the conversation, unless I'm willing to get the person to repeat the statement. But then it has to be repeated exactly, or else I have to start over again with different words to process. I tend to have difficulty getting people to not rephrase their statements in an attempt to be more clear. The nature of the phrasing isn't the problem. Also, I don't like to ask most people to repeat themselves more than once, because they'll think it's weird. So, I hope for short stuff from them and usually pretend I'm getting it all if they talk too long.

To me, this is like being fed a single strand of spaghetti out of a machine that's putting it out faster than you can slurp it up. Eventually, you just have to snip it off and start over at the new spot. But then you still have a pile of uneaten spaghetti in your lap.

I'll admit that I sometimes am simply overeager to express myself, and that's part of the problem I have with conversational flow. Also, I find it difficult to know the difference between a pause for breath and when the person is done talking. And this is all on top of my struggles with judging things such as other people's feelings and jokes. On the phone, I have even less info to go by, and that's even harder. But this replaying thing is a big chunk of what's going on, and I've gotten so used to doing it that I hadn't even realized it before. It might help if I can give this explanation to my girlfriend, sister, and any other person I trust enough to reveal my situation, so that we can try to give me a chance to catch up if I fall behind. I'll have to see how it goes.

As for talking too long myself, it's like writing. I have times of nothing to say and times of lots to say. I get overeager. And when I'm the one talking or writing, I have the thought first, so I understand it before the words get put out there. I decide on the words, so I know what I mean. I have to be careful not to dominate conversations just because it makes it easier to know what's going on. The funny thing about writing is, I sometimes have to reread my own words multiple times when I go back to edit, so even my own words don't always register correctly when I go to take them back in by reading them.

Anybody else do this mental repetition while listening during a conversation?

I have that problem too, and what's helped me a really great deal is listening to audiobooks. Audiobooks are narrated, rather than just read (well, the good ones are, anyway), and this being the case, the words come a lot more slowly. I also tend to listen to funny books again and again (Three Men In A Boat: still funny after all these years), as well as mysteries (I remember how things were done, but never who did them).

I think a lot of the problem I have with reading is that I'm looking for the "point" of what's being said. I read an awful lot of technical papers and it takes forever for the writers to get to the actual point of the research sometimes. Bad for the brain, I think. Leave all the name-dropping to the end, I say. But I digress (as usual).

With audiobooks, just the listening, in and of itself, is the point. There are some lovely voices out there and some fabulous narrators (George Guidall and Steven Crossley are my favorites) and they are so interesting, they teach you to listen. I wish they had audiobooks back in the day....

I'm not sure if it's the same problem, but I do something similar while reading/ watching TV, and something different during conversation.
Reading etc, I'll be focusing just fine and have a thought about something I've read, and one thing leads to another and I'm off in my head thinking about Rutabagas or something...but I'll "tune in" again and realize that while my inner voice was off doing that, my eyes and the rest of my brain continued to read and process absolutely nothing. So I'll have to go back and find my place and catch the thread of what I was reading, trying to be careful not to get sidetracked at the same place as before. I think this is largely due to ADD, not least because when I CAN keep my "inner" and "outer" brain together, I have outstanding reading comprehension.
This happens multiple times in a paragraph on a "bad" day, and I thought it sounded similar to having to read things over and over because you're just not processing them.

The issue I have with conversation is more about me being off in my own world, but it does cause me to have to replay tons of things. It goes something like this:
Not me: "mmmmHhmmhmm"
Me: "What?"
(5 seconds later, the audio catches up and I realize they said, "Where did you put my phone charger?")
Not me: "Where did--"
Me: "Oh! It's on top of your dresser."

it happens to me on slight occasions. it doesn't happen often, but it's very embarrassing when someone talks to me and i don't understand and then i just stand there staring, frozen, unable to talk or think, because all my energy is focused on what he said and trying hard to make the words make sense. i understand most of what i read but on occasions i don't.

Ah yeah, slow processing speed, the band of my existence. In my teens I remember moments where it would sound like someone was speaking a foreign language at me, and then I'd loop the audio in my head a few times and then it would 'click' into place and make sense.

Oh, and people can look up "central auditory processing disorder," about that (sounds like that's what it is, anyway).