envy

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Do you feel envy for anything/anyone?

After reading that last post on The Adult World, I now feel envy for all those good-looking people who can avoid the realitites of Adult Life. I also envy people who are better at managing their time on the Internet than I am as well.

Tell me about it.

I need to ban myself from here for a while in order to rebuild my life!

I used to be envious of people, NTs because of their lack of existential angst and their lack of social issues. OR the easy way they can dress and be nice looking. But I have found out that they're all jealous of me and free-thinking ways. I have been antagonized by NTs because they can't label me or "put me in my place".
So, why be jealous of them and their bratty sense of entitlement?

Yes, I am tormented by envy of a young member of my clan who got all the privileges that I didn't. Things that I fought for and didn't get were given to her freely. Her parents taught her that she can do anything she tries. And her father is my biggest brother - who was my father substitute, but he doesn't know that. That little girl has my father, my education, my social life, etc.

I don't want anything taken away from her, I would not want her to give any of that up, or fail. But I wish (irrationally, I guess) that somehow I could have those things too.

As much as I am mostly comfortable with myself, I do get envious of others. Particularly those that seem to sail through life without encountering the problems that I face (you know, the whole aspie thing lol). But then a lot of the time it doesn't bother me. Insecurity is more of a failing for me rather than being envious, although one can trigger the other off.

I also envy those that have the careers and jobs they wanted in life right now. Even though I am looking, I still have that envy, and it doesn't help.