I have aspergers I feel I am declining

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Hello everyone, I was recently diagnosed with the condition back in July, I am now 40, over the last few years I feel that I am declining, I am obsessed with technology and I used to be able to repair computers, now I have major issues when it comes to do that line of work.

I also find it difficult going shopping as I feel overloaded, I was not that bad when I was younger.



Anyone on here going through similar circumstances?

Hi, Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Do you think some of it might be that with your recent diagnosis, the idea from psychology that 'insight' solves things, and thus things should now be easier and you're frustrated when they're not?

Yes, I want to be able to pursue my interests and integrate it into a job, my social worker suggest to leave the job market for the time being as I have social difficulties which I need a personal assistant. Since the diagnosis, I am more aware of it and it is now even more of a struggle.

I have great difficulty, organising myself, I never could keep a job down as my obessions get in the way and yes you could be on to something there.

I used to repair computers and I was a genius, over the last few years that seems to be declining. I want to focus on making a living doing computer servicing. I have an obession with smartphones at the moment as I feel it is time to take the internet with me and concentrate on mobile technology. I am mixed about it all.

Another part of me wants to do normal things, but it is a struggle.

You need something in your life to work towards, that is meaningful to who you are.

I am looking to buy some land, build a house, and grow my own food for example.

What don't you like about fixing computers? The dumb stuff people do to them?

I disabled that firewall you installed as I couldn't run this free app I found on a porn site.
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Me:

I think that is a great and sensible plan you have their dogfield.

I think I want to stand on my own two feet, but I always seem to allow my obsessions rule me, i have been like it all my life, out of control, I also have co-ordination issues when it comes to planning a computer workshop and what equipment I need.

My family also has a house in France, which one day will be mine and I want to do something with that. I think I have the basis of some sort of life but it is like being in the thick bush.

Things also started getting worse for me when I hit 40, well before I knew I had Asperger's. Difficulty with shopping was one of the first things I noticed. People have suggested all kinds of reasons: increased stress, burn-out, hormones, pre-diabetes, etc, but I haven't really figured it out. At the time I had my own online strategy boardgame store, which was a one-person effort out of my home. Each year I had more and more trouble handling Christmas season, but the economy took care of that, and I went out-of-business. For years I drove myself nuts unsuccessfully trying to find something else I could do. Finally I learn to accept that I am going to be dependent on other people, and redefined my expectations of myself. I also love technology, so I take on small, easy tasks to learn more about it. Every time I accomplish anything, even doing the dishes, I give myself a pat on the back. I've stopped worrying about all the stuff I'm not doing. I feel so much happier now and less stressed.

Yes Redwood I feel the same as you do, I am becoming more dependant on people as I have great difficulty in doing day to day stuff, something tells me to stop and just enjoy life, the thing is many tell me I should find a job, my social worker said no.

I think people telling me I needed to work was the reason it took so long for me to accept my current condition. But none of those people really knew anything about what I was going through. My psychiatrist actually told me to quit the last part-time job I had a couple of years ago. I recently started seeing an Asperger's psychologist, and on the first visit he was amazed I wasn't on permanent disability. He said I could maybe do a little very low stress freelance work out of my home, but that would be about it. Finally my husband-like boyfriend (a pharmacist) said not to worry about it, that he'd support me and my daughter. Now everyone I allow in my life encourages me just to follow my interests to the level I am able, and not worry about making money. What a relief!

Mum tells me to accept things and enjoy life which i do. My wife goes through hell with my condition and i said if she had enough i understand .

I never could hold a job down and i do unrealistic things

I never could hold down a job either, except working for my mom who passed away 3 years ago. She always loved whatever work I did no matter how long it took me.

I'm sorry to hear about the difficulty with your wife. I think in this case it's much easier to be a woman, because society accepts women being dependent, especially moms. I wish you the best.

Sounds like a lot of us hitting a spot like this. I use to be "more" than I am now I feel. Drove 2 hours each way to work, worked a 10-12 hour day. Had a job where being obsessive and hyper focused and "oddly" talented worked well. Now, I feel like I'd get run over in 2 seconds if I tried to step back into that position. I felt this way before we narrowed down what was "wrong". I'm wondering on a diagnostic level if its a hormonal offset that we are losing that makes us less capable of overcoming some of the issues we face, some other medical condition coming on, or as is indicated in some recent ADHD studies, which I have also, that there is continued hardening and degradation of our gray matter so we clinically are losing capacity/ability. Frankly, I think there just isn't enough research to tell on the clinical side. Regardless, I think the key is to find a way around it and to handle it. Figure we only get one shot at this, no sense in not pushing it as far as I can.

I felt like I had a decline back in 2001-2004. During that time I went from at least halfway supporting myself on freelance work to three burnouts (the middle burnout being dropping out of my fourth attempt at college) and ever since, everything's just been harder than it was then.

The frustrating part of the burnouts was each one would leave me unable to get much done for months at a time, and when I recovered some it was never as much as prior to said burnout. Having ADHD didn't help, sinking into a deep depression didn't help, and having fibromyalgia really flare into being during that time didn't help. At least my panic disorder was on its last legs in those days and not getting worse along with everything else.

Yeah i burnout a lot with most things and I beginning to get really anxious about it, I am not depressed as I try to get on with things to the best of my abilities.

I would like to set my own computer business up and earn some good money, but I suppose I got to accept the major barriers.

Yeah, I hit the wall too. It's definitely worse than when I was younger. I've been finding some references to brain changes caused by too much stress and depression over too long a period. For sure I've dealt with that for over half a century.

I don't know that you can't have your own computer business, but you might have to realize you can't do absolutely everything having to do with the business on your own. Business owners rarely make good bookkeepers anyway. Get as much help as you can. I know that there are organizations set up to help people with disabilities start businesses. They can help with a lot of the things you might have trouble with. Use your Google and don't give up too soon.

Here's one actual, official link that might be helpful:

Small Business Association - Disabilities

Thank you Slyvia for that, I have looked into this here in the uk and there is a start up grant I could apply too.

I am going to stick to what my social worker suggested and take one day at a time. I am happy with life, dont get me wrong it could be a lot worse and I grateful for what I recieve. Maybe when the economic situation settles down maybe then I will seek help to get something up and running.

Welcome to WP, 40djbrooks.

I had a big burnout at about 30, and haven't been quite the same since. For me the worst part was having cognitive problems. It's like my brain said "I've had it!" and started turning off functions until I slowed down.

I've also had more difficulties with things as I've gotten older. Part of it seems due to having less energy to 'bulldoze' through like I did when I was younger. I used to drive to the city a lot (San Francisco -- I live in a small town outside of it), but nowadays I'm exhausted by the time I get there. (Another semi-amusing oddity is that I can't seem to speak and drive at the same time, anymore.) And my threshold for overload also seems to be getting lower. So, I take things more slowly now and that does seem helpful (and like the right thing to do). I feel like I function in slow-motion and/or the rest of world is on "fast forward," nowadays.