Hurtful Remarks!

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Me and my NT brother had an arguement last week. he said some hurtful things too me like "Really i am an only child" (because of my condtion) and "Our parents should have had a third sibling too balance things out and so i had someone too hang out with". Yes i know i do behave ecentricley around my brother and there is some rivalry between us.

Too be fair though he did say he was angry when he had an argument but still what he said is kinda getting too me a little bit.

Do NTs really view people with AS as being that different?????

That is very rough-I had my direct coworker tell another coworker when I was having a bit of a hard time and was pretty upset-the direct coworker told the other coworker that he had to babysit me today and the other coworker jumped down his throat for making an insensitive remark about me so yes it happens but the most hurtful things were said to me by another aspie during a very serious discussion and they were extremely hurtful and the other aspie (really HFA) had absolutely no trouble in saying it to me and when I say things that may be interpreted as hurtful I feel bad and try to right the wrong-but in this case nope and it still hurts.

Quite a few hurtful remarks go down here on WP, mostly by some of the most active posters.... I notice if I spend much time here on WP, so invest much of myself, I have more to defend....

I think the trick is having nothing to defend, as there will always be someone wanting to take you down from a height.... that you claw on the keyboard, with active posting

Dominance and aggression are common to all creatures, aspie or not.

Turning away, understanding you and them, and forgiving saves you the unnecessary time and energy of dealing with conflict

Don't let his comment get you down.

Yes NT's view of us as that different but what your brother said was way out of line.

Don't let him bring you down and focus on your future.

There was a particular situation...and potentially harmful one.

I was called by one of my bosses because I made a mistake, a big one (and it was because I dazed off). So, I went to her room but I didn't tell supervisor in my department that I was going.
So, they looked around for me and found me with my boss and said: ''well you could really tell us where you are going''
Then the boss got angry and asked me how old I am. I, off course, replied. Than she said, ''stop acting like a god damn kid and grow up, some people your age have families and they have real responsibilities and real problems.''

I had an argument with my NT twin a few hours ago that left me feeling like crap. We were talking about stimming on the job (I told him that many people wouldn't tolerate me pacing and tapping my fingers and generally fidgeting to stay focused and calm) and he said, "just quit stimming during work. I swear, your hyperactivity makes you look like some addict anxious to inject their crank". I replied to him by stating that my stimming is not like what a crank addict does. He laughed and said, "you have no idea how to socially interact". Then he left to go back to his apartment (and his girlfriend). I felt defeated. I let him get to me over that one last statement.

It was very wrong of your brother to say that to you. He should apologize as soon as possible. It seems that our typical siblings don't want anything to do with us, just because we're different.

I'm sorry he said that and I wish I could relate, or tell you some story about my brothers and I fighting, but truth be told we don't talk. We might as well be strangers for all they know of me and I of them. But I do hope that someday your brother will stop being so immature.

Or maybe one day, your brother will have a child who's on the spectrum and he will feel very guilty about the things that he's said to you and than he'll have to apologize.

Rather harsh statements from your sibling. Unfortunately, it is often family members, or those close to us, who say things like that, and it hurts. I mean, if you can't trust your family & friends, who can you trust? My spouse has said some rather harsh things at times, like "I wish you weren't broken." OUCH! I wish they could all live my life for just a day to experience what I experience. The best thing to do is to tell them how hurtful their words are. Hopefully they will get the message…

You were talking about my post, right? But about having a kid on the spectrum... I was thinking about that. About how if I ever get married, and her and I end up having kids on the spectrum, I think it would be easier to relate to my kids than if they were NT.