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DrowningMedusa
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11 Oct 2006, 4:54 pm

I've never been Dx'd with Asperger's (although I was diagnosed with ADHD as a teen... either way... I'm here now, and I'm learning so much... :o ) but I want to know if this is just me, or if anyone else has this problem:

I can't, for the life of me, remember faces. I mean, ok, I'm socially naive and I (apparently) don't pay attention to the people around me and their state of mind... fine, I'll own up to that. Whether it's because of a condition or because I really don't care for people all that much is irrelevant.

The point is that I get very, very nervous and anxious about meeting new people face to face, especially if there's more than one of them, because not only will I forget the name, but I'll forget that I even saw their face!

Even people I've spoken to more than once, I'll walk by them in the street and not recognize them. They'll either think I'm rude or spaced out (the latter more than the former as I tend to overcompensate for my social awkwardness by being too nice... :? ) and frankly, it's embarassing... :oops:

Anyone here know what this is like? What it's due to? And, most importantly, how to cope with it? Tricks, shortcuts?...

I'd appreciate any help I can get at this point! My anxiety when dealing with social situations has been a huge factor in my decision to start anti-depressants (1.5 years ago), and I'd like to someday NOT have to take them...



Corvus
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11 Oct 2006, 5:26 pm

Well, cant help with faces but I can help with names which will help you..

when you hear a name, associate it with something.. like Wendy = associate it with fast food and just assume the person is obsessed with fast food.. Associate names with things you know and do it in different ways.. its quite easy



schleppenheimer
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11 Oct 2006, 9:35 pm

I'm the parent of a boy with Aspergers, but one of the traits that he has, that I also have, is not recognizing faces. I do fine with people I've known for years, but anyone that I meet for the first few times, OR anyone that I only see once a month or less, I cannot for the life of me recognize them! I also have a rough time seeing someone, say, at my son's school, where I might recognize them, and then seeing them in a different location, i.e. a restaurant or the library, and I probably WON'T recognize them.

When my son was younger (five years old or so), he would see any person with grey hair and think they were one of his grandparents. He also would think a hispanic child was his best friend at school (also hispanic), when actually there was no resemblance at all except race. He also did this with asian kids. I think that he is growing out of this, but I still seem to have my variation of the problem.

You're not alone, for sure.

Kris



DrowningMedusa
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11 Oct 2006, 9:47 pm

I'm hoping I'll get better in time... I WAS worse as a child, but I haven't outgrown it and it's really socially hindering. I'm hoping someone out there has a trick or a tip to make it easier...



krex
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12 Oct 2006, 2:50 am

I am not very social person,so the only time this is an issue for me is at my job.We have a high turnover(because the company is horrible)so I am constantly reintroducing myself to people I met a few weeks before.This is very embarassing and the person acts insulted.The only thing I can do after this is tell them....I am sorry,I really have a problem with remembering peoples faces and names.I dont know if they "forgive me"but its the best I can do.It is worse when the individual is african or african american(a large % of the people I work with) because I am afraid they will think I am one of those racist who thinks,all blacks look alike.I hate being thought a racist and a moron.


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Hovis
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12 Oct 2006, 8:49 am

krex wrote:
It is worse when the individual is african or african american(a large % of the people I work with) because I am afraid they will think I am one of those racist who thinks,all blacks look alike.I hate being thought a racist and a moron.


Krex, yes, it's awful - and I do have a particular problem with people of African and Caribbean descent, especially men. :( I think it might be because one of the identifying things I rely on is hairstyle, and a lot of black men tend to wear their hair very similar.