How to Stop a Meltdown Online

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I am pretty good at catching myself in public in real life. But when it comes to situations on line, I always feel the admins or moderators have to much control. That I don't have enough control. That I feel the situation is spiraling out of control. And then I find myself at a complete and total behavioral loss that I cannot explain. Next minute I find myself banned and not sure where to go from there. But I cannot help myself. I just cannot stop an online meltdown. I don't know how to at least.

Any advice?

Oh boy, yeah getting fired up is tough. Because you act instantly on how you feel. I think the best thing to do, now that you're aware that you meltdown online, is to take a minute to re-read the messages to give yourself some time to relax and compose your thoughts.

It's just really hard, especially with comments like this:

Those comments make me so mad. That people are unwilling to compromise. I understand in a compromise I have to give things up myself. I already said I would do everything they asked for, but I just couldn't do the horrible font that gives me a headache and is very hard to read. I'm not really yelling just stating my case. I'm trying to keep myself from having a meltdown.

So they want you to use some god awful font in an RP? And you refuse to? I would walk away man, it's not right for you from the get-go. The guy is obviously being a prick, I'm sure there's another RP you can join right?

Hello, sorry to walk in like that but what is RP?

I know what is PPR here, on Wrongplanet forum, but RP?

Role play.

I did walk away. Because I learned my lesson the last time I had a problem in RP. But there other things that I cannot stop myself. Like when people snitch when there is a misunderstanding. Then all hell breaks loose. And of course no one believes me. I have a hard to explaining myself, etc. Then more happens and then more. And then I just can't deal with it any more.

You've been banned from here before?

How about you don't post when you are in the middle of one?


I can also relate to explaining myself. Lot of people seem to think I backpedal or contradict myself. It also pisses me off. But I also know people are just thick and they have ridiculous standards. Sometimes I think it's my communication problems so I end up confusing people since my shrink used to get lost all the time in what I am saying. Then he figured out part of me feels this way and part of me feels that way and that part of me wants this and part of me wants that. For a while I just thought he was an idiot because everything I was saying was making sense.

Well, I admit you completely confused me yesterday on that thread in politics. I am not sure what you were saying, or what you perceived me as saying when you replied to me. I am not saying that's necessarily your fault or that fault is even necessary, because I admit I tend to find some writing difficult to parse, despite the fact that I am supposed to be very good at reading and writing.

I will say that if I gave the impression that I thought you were backpedaling, I was not trying to do that at all. I thought your last reply might be contradictory, but then I don't understand it so I would hesitate to claim either way without understanding more.

As for just not posting:

I suspect that meltdown-level mood dysregulation makes it difficult to avoid impulsive posting. I had a meltdown on a forum a bit over a year ago when one of the moderators refused to enforce the rules as written and even said the rules as written didn't mean what they were written to mean, and I sent her a PM that I desperately regretted an hour or so later.

Now I think my perception was right - said moderator is utterly rubbish and just doesn't care to enforce the forum rules, no matter how egregiously they're violated and how much abuse particular favored members heap on other people (as groups or individuals).

I don't know why, but I'm pretty good at following rules. Unless I think they are ridiculous. If they are ridiculous I fight and fight.

I wasn't having trouble following rules, the moderator was. I don't follow ridiculous rules, either. This actually causes me problems in RP games because I tend to get very critical of bad house rules or arbitrarily ignoring existing rules. And then when I GM, I have serious trouble with badly written rules (like grappling in D&D 3e).

Are you referring to that thread I posted about autistics going violent?

No I never thought you thought I backpedaled. I was talking about people in general who think that of me or have accused me of it so I wasn't talking just about you. Anyone who has thought that of me or has ever accused me of it, then yeah I was talking about them even if I don't know it.

I sometimes do this too. And yes I believe the best thing is to stop yourself from replying straight away. Go away from your computer, have a think and reply back later after thinking about it.

Okay, I wasn't sure what you were saying because I had trouble connecting it to what I said. Thanks for explaining.

Also,



I think this does work, come to think of it.

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. And if I feel someone is being corrupt or bending the rules to suit them I best damn see some action about it. And when I do bring something up I shouldn't be the bad guy in the situation.

I do try to walk away, but that's always so so so hard. Because I'm home 24/7 and my main go to is the computer.

Politics brings out the worst in me when it comes to this.

For gods sakes people socialism is defined as workers control over the means of production for utility! It's not state ownership, it's not welfare, it's not wealth redistribution, it's not authoritarianism, it's a model for workplace democracy.

I'm afraid I have yet to combat my online meltdowns successfully..