Can you tell by looking at someone if they are an NT or not?

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Can you tell by looking at someone if they are NT or not?

Here is a video of me rambling on, I am curious as to how others would see me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5qY0J6Lmts

I'm not sure I understand the thread title. Can I tell someone is NT generally? No, not just by looking at them, it would require conversation and interaction.

Do I think you're NT on the basis of this video? Largely yes, but you do have few moments here and there where there are verbal idiosyncrasies and you do go on to explain about own fiddling with the pen and touching the piece of silk fabric and from what I know from being on WP those would be things that point away from being NT. You also do not look directly into the camera until near the end of the film.

If you are interested in general feedback, the video is almost a game of two halves. The first half is dominated by your feeling depressed, in the second half you come alive when you're talking about your OU course. The difference in the two halves is quite striking.Happy to expand on this if you think it's too general.

Feel free to elaborate.

I think you looked pretty ''normal'' in the video.

The first half is quite moving because lots of people are alone, or even lonely but hardly anyone ever speaks about this, and it's moving that you do. Because you're wearing your glasses quite low, it's hard to see your eyes at all (which is a bit disconcerting) but it seems you're looking into space or rather into the inside of your head while you are explaining about forming bonds etc. It's like you're thinking out loud with the camera running, speaking to no one in particular.

The one thought I did have during that half was that while you can't magically fix being alone, depression is a treatable condition as I know from personal experience (been on antidepressants for about three years) and might you find it easier to tackle the whole contacts thing if you were feeling a bit less depressed? Just a thought; making the contacts you seek is also likely to help with depression so if you are up for doing that it's probably a good sign.

In the second half, you smile a lot and it's clear you're enthusiastic about the subject matter and that comes across really well. The "eye" contact with the camera also improves in this section.

So does first half plus second half kind of sum you up (I mean in very broad terms, I appreciate there's a lot more to you)?

Is that normal aspie or normal NT?

Looking at your video you reminded me a little of someone I use to work with who I suspected had AS; but this doesn’t prove anything in itself as this person didn’t have a diagnosis either. So I’d probably say you’re borderline, which is not I know terribly helpful. Your behaviour was I think similar to what mine would be if I were to make such a video. More generally, I don’t think it’s possible to say for certain on the basis of a video. I did think you had a very nice voice though; and will be looking to see if I can get a Frozen Planet poster; although I might think again if the dam thing is that hard to fold.

Yes, it’s great to see your enthusiasm when you talk about your course in the second half of the video. I think perhaps it’s a little hard to see through the depression and get an accurate feel for how you would be without it.

Strange is what I am without it, almost child like in some ways as I never grew out of my curious phase lol and more similar to how I am when talking about my course as that is my personality surfacing beyond depressed mode. Natter box and bumble were my childhood nicknames and I never grew out of the traits that brought those about either...a tendency to bumble and be a little clumsy and a tendency to babble on about stuff.

As a young child, whilst I could not mix with my peers I was well known for wandering off and talking to adults and complete strangers about anything that was interesting to me at the time. Meanwhile, my mother would be in a panic as I had disappeared. Ten minutes later a stranger would bring me back, usually with me sat on his shoulders, ice-cream in hand (which I didn't have when I went missing lol) to whom my mum would say "Sorry about that love, she wandered off" and to which they would often reply "Don't worry about it, we have been having the most fascinating conversation" lol.

I always was able to talk to people many years my senior but never fitted well with my peers. Academically I was bright (an A average without trying to get A grades and without needing to revise for exams due to having an excellent memory in that particular way (I am not so good at remembering everyday pointless stuff like where my house keys are though and it can also be affected if I am nervous...exams don't make me nervous but socialising can due to it always being a disaster for me)), so my language was advanced enough at a very young age to be able to converse with much older people.

My peers just thought I was plain outright weird though especially as I prefered to collect bank forms and play traffic jams (involved lining my brothers toy cars up all over the frontroom floor) instead of playing mummies and daddies with dolls and when I did try to play make believe tea parties with the other kids, for example, I used to have to have real tea in my tea set, I couldn't just pretend lol).

Child psychologists described me as very advanced for my years in some ways (according to tests they did I was beyond my years both intellectually and morally so not at the same stage of development as my peers in those ways) but emotionally immature and over sensitive. But provided me with no further help for my social problems.

I am very sensitive without or without depression, both emotionally and physically and always have been (ie my parents had to cut all the tags out of my clothes and I would literally scream when people were trying to get knots out of my hair even if they did so gently due to an over sensitive scalp). I am also light sensitive, sensitive to chemicals and cannot wear certain materials such a pure wool (it's painful against my skin).

I suppose I am just a bit more upbeat, strange and tend to babble enthusiastically about anything that catches my curiosity so i am kind of annoying to people even when not depressed lol. I used to talk to anybody. The only reason I stopped talking to my peers was because they mocked me so badly, but before the bullying I would just walk up to and natter to anyone who would listen lol.

However I was also niave and overly trusting and still can be, especially when not depressed (my depression makes me less trusting) so that can be a problem as I tend to get hurt a lot. I take people at their word...

Even if I appear NT I don't feel like other people or my peers and never did. I was always out of sync with them, even as a young child, as I was not at the same stages of development as they were and now in my adult life I am still waiting to find others like me.

I was even out of sync with msyelf in some ways and still am! This can confuse people.

My intellectual ability sets me apart from most of the population (ie above average ability in that way). My moral development seems to still be much in advance of many people I encounter. My emotional development is still lagging behind and is still immature compared to the rest of me.

I fail constantly at socialising but can turn my hand to many other things without any problem. Anything I am interested enough to learn, I can (although I can sometimes throw a strop if I can't get it straight away lol), except the social stuff. There I seem to struggle as I don't really belong anywhere. I don't fit anywhere. And I feel totally alone. Not just physically...its not always about being physically alone...I am lost on a planet I don't feel I belong on and I cannot find anyone who understands me.

Bumble, I don't think it's possible to tell if somebody is on the ASD just by looking at them--at least not for sure. If it were that simple, getting an official diagnosis wouldn't be such an ordeal.

Your video is a good example. It's obvious you're not happy, but those not on the ASD are frequently not happy as well. You also seem reserved. I'm a Texan, but my best friend is a Scot. Knowing him, and having been to England in the past, Brits have always generally seemed a bit more reserved than other groups, at least to me. So, I couldn't say whether or not your being reserved is cultural or caused by AS. It's NOT a putdown, merely an observation. Personally, I like that trait.

I don’t know whether or not I would describe it as strange, but I too can often exhibit a childlike exuberance when talking about something I find interesting or if engaged in an activity I enjoy. The excitement of discovering a new idea or perception, coupled with the knowledge that if I appear too excited or talk too much about it I’ll appear weird. Like you, I was always able to speak to people many years my senior, but unlike you was far from an A grade student due to undiagnosed dyslexia. As a child I had an obsession with toy cars, patterns on carpet and with whirling my eyes round and around over and over again. And like you I am also extremely emotionally sensitive and have to cut the labels out of all my clothes. I’m not a naive as I use to be, but still I think I still wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to friendship. I cannot make small talk, am pretty terrible when it comes to socialising and can become very anxious in a social situation. I don’t feel like an NT either, but am unsure whether this is due to AS or something else that I can’t quite put my finger on. You are not alone Bumble; there are other struggling with the same things you are; and we do understand at least part of what you are going through.

I don't think that people can tell from a video that you made yourself. Maybe a surveillance video of you socializing, perhaps other people would be able to pick up on autistic traits or NT traits. Or maybe not one-on-one, but in a group, autistic traits would appear stronger, because group interaction harder. You don't sound NT from your posts though, like the way you describe your internal thoughts doesn't sound NT to me. Those sound more autistic and like a lot of the stuff that goes on in my mind too. You also write in detail instead of generalizations in your posts.

Crikey I don't do groups lol

I prefer one to one in a quiet environment otherwise I can't hear what anyone is saying.

So if you were in a group and there were a surveillance video of the group, then you'd be the one saying nothing because you can't hear what anyone is saying. Maybe your eyes would be wandering around and you'd be fidgeting too, anything to break up the boredom of standing in a group not being able to hear anything anyone said during the pointless social "interaction".

It has been a long time since I was in a group but from the times I do remember I had two or three types of behaviour depending on what environment I was in (to a degree).

1 I sit quietly and say nothing, really just hoping to get out of there as quickly as possible. I can't always follow the conversation anyway.

2 There were instances in my teens where I did have a small group of friends. Well 2 friends actually. So together we made a small group. Now with those I would interact but we did not stay friends for long. We went on a day trip to Birmingham together and I took them around all the museums thinking we were having a great time (I love museums, love them). When we got home they said

"We are not going to Birmingham with you again"

I replied with "Why?"

and they replied with "You dragged us around the museums and it was really boring"

And I said "Oh, what did you want to do then?"

and they said "We wanted to go shopping for clothes and make up and talk about boys"

We didn't stay friends for long after that.

In the 3rd instance that would be with family. If there were only a few family members around I was fine but I hated big Xmas celebrations etc as there was usually too much noise for me. Same when I went to pantomimes as a child. I loved it when the play was playing but during the intermission, with everyone talking at once, it was awful and I just wanted to get out of there.

One on one is much easier for me and takes much less energy out of me than having to socialise in groups.

I have a half brother (same mum different dad) who is dyslexic. Unfortunately he is a alcoholic these days and we are no longer in contact. He has no problems socialising though.

And whilst I am talking about family:

When it comes to family members both my half brothers socialise fine as did my mum...actually she was a social butterfly. So I often wonder where my social issues came from. I can only guess I have inherited whatever is causing my social problems from my father as:

He had no friends
He was unable to make friends
He was prone to massive tantrums except they were worse than mine. Usually he would just rant and rave and smash things but on rare occasions he could hit people.
He was very socially inappropriate in both words and behaviour. People were always saying "adrian you cannot say that" (his name was adrian)
He was mr pedantic when it came to grammar. I heard the words "cheryl, you must learn to speak the kings english" a ridiculous number of times.
He always had to have his afternoon nap and to watch the evening news each night at the same time and had to have things a certain way and had strange routines.
He had a really weird walk...he kind of tottered
He had no social anxiety though as he was totally socially unaware and would just barge into conversations usually with the response above "adrian you cannot say that" or "adrian you cannot just do that".

No one liked him! He was actually known as the estate weirdo and everyone would go out of their way to avoid him even to the point of refusing to let their children play with me, especially if my dad was around.

I felt a bit sorry for him. He was not all bad. He was the one who nicknamed me bumble.

I got his genes when it comes to socialising didnt I though, I bet I did. I am like my dad except I don't walk funny, well unless I am wearing heals as I can't balance in them.

The scary thing is that he was said to be psychopathic because he was diagnosed back in the 70s as having no empathy. Yet I don't remember an emotionally devoid man. I do remember man who had trouble showing understanding but not a cold emotionless man. I mean the man lived in adrian land somewhere but he did try to be a dad and he did give me the nickname bumble which to me shows emotion in and of itself. Its sweet.

He was off somewhere in a world of his own though.

If people think I am bad socially they should hav met my dad.