Hello! I've been reading the site for a while now but I just signed up. I think I might have AS but... I don't know. At this point I'm pretty damn sure I have it. It would explain a LOT of my issues, why my brain works the way it does and my childhood.
I always had a hard time understanding people, I could never identify with them and things just got worst when emotions came into the picture. I'm 29 and I've only had one "real" girlfriend (relationship lasted four years, god knows how) but I've had GFs before her. Typically they would only last like a month or two at most because I got bored; I only went out with them because they asked me.
Growing up, I was treated as if I had a learning disability but no one was exactly sure what it was and I was very smart but I was almost held back (in the third grade) because I wasn't "socialising normally" with the other kids. By the sixth grade I was already at the College level in most things, thankfully my high school left me alone enough so that I could learn whatever I wanted to. During that time I listened to music all the time, even during class. It was one of the few things that let me block out other things and concentrate on the teacher, etc.
Anyways, I've mostly dealt with this by learning how I "should act" during certain situations. I feel like I have to plan a role and then I act accordingly to blend in with the "normal" people all at the expense of thinking I'm "broken" and dealing with depression. I've never met anyone (that I know of) that has been diagnosed with AS so I'm not entirely sure if that's what I have, I know for the most part I seem like I'm pretty normal but I'm faking a lot of it.
I only feel comfortable in social situations with people I know very well, even then I still "prep" myself by thinking about as many possible conversation topics as I can and making sure I have a response to them (dates are TERRIBLE for me).
I've always felt that I could never have any kind of real relationship because of how I was. Even posting here like this makes me a tad bit nervous. I've been waiting to do this for a few days now....
Anyways, I took the Aspie Quiz and this is what I got:
Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 49 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
05 Jan 2012, 5:42 am
