Loss of AS traits

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Well I had no idea I have AS until very recently (still undiagnosed but I'm as sure as I can be).

I used to have pretty much all the traits of someone with AS until about the age of 11. This caused me to clash often with my completely un-understanding parents (They had no idea I had AS). I lost all my personal space and my mental health went to crap.

Strangely I found if I developed this personality who always had something to say about everything (usually rubbish) and looking for peoples approval. It got me a few friends, but inside I felt lonelier than I ever had been on my own and although I continued my "obsessions", I completely lost my thirst for knowledge; I didn't care about much. My mental health disintegrated.

Recently I tried getting "the old me back" and through this heard of Aspergers and saw that I (when being "myself") completely fit.

Everything had been simpler since then, still Irregular sleeping, spending most of my time on my own, completely useless with new people and all the rest. But at least its me.


The reason I posted this is I am wondering if anyone else has had this "middle point", if others around them were not aware you were on the spectrum?

Just trying to see if it makes any sense. That period is the one thing niggling at the back of my head saying I may not be an aspie. The fact I changed like that.

EDIT - I also completely lost all organization I had, which probably didn't help.

I feel the same way as you. I have lost most of my AS traits that I had as a child. I was diagnosed at age two. I used to have a lot of sensory issues and irrational fears when I was very young. I was terrified of several different noises and things such as escalators and water. I also used to have symptoms similar to OCD when I a kid.

I don't have any sensory dysfunction anymore and my strange fears are long since gone. There aren't many things that scare me these days. I'm still get anal about silly things sometimes but I don't really show the OCD-like symptoms anymore either. I still have obsessions but have learned to hide them well. I have quite a few friends and can be talkative so I don't think that people realize that I have AS unless they are familiar with the condition. I don't think most people know much about AS in general. Most people misunderstand me but I can still pass as an NT.

I used to have pretty much all the traits of someone with AS until about the age of 11. This caused me to clash often with my completely un-understanding parents (They had no idea I had AS). I lost all my personal space and my mental health went to crap.

Strangely I found if I developed this personality who always had something to say about everything (usually rubbish) and looking for peoples approval. It got me a few friends, but inside I felt lonelier than I ever had been on my own and although I continued my "obsessions", I completely lost my thirst for knowledge; I didn't care about much. My mental health disintegrated.



I can totally relate to this, when I was about 11 I started to have real problems in school both academically and socially. My teacher put me in with the counselor and after a couple of weeks my parents, totally confident there was nothing wrong in spite of overwhelming evidence, told me to just quit acting up and be normal. Secretly i experimented with personalities I saw in movies but that was so exhausting and it never seemed to work. School was hell and i spent most of my private time living in a fantasy world. By high school, I had settled on the happy, inquisitive and agreeable cover much like what you described. I looked happy, but I was actually in the darkest of depressions. I felt so hollow. People would have been so shocked if I had killed myself.

I lost myself along the way, and it has been a long hard road, but i think im finaly getting back to the real me, whatever that is.

Catatonix, saying my parents weren't understanding would be an understatement, so I understand where you're coming from on that.

I grew out of a lot of my aspie traits, such as nervous tics and such, at a young age. I also used to be very sensitive to loud noises, like a loud clap, gunshots, etc.

Having been in the Navy, I agree with what the experts who say that you don't develop a tolerance to alcohol as much as you learn to hide its effects--at least to a degree. And the longer one drinks, the better they get at hiding the effects. That is, somebody who drinks a twelve-pack of beer every night is going to appear a lot more sober than a teetotaller who consumes the same quantity. I think it's the same with AS. We just learn to hide it better, especially when we're older, and have been at it a while. But I don't think AS ever really goes away.

Aharon, how are things working out for you?