I wish there were more people that understood my Autism...

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I'm never able to keep good close friendships or even relationships, because whenever I get really close with someone in a very close friendship type way or especially romantic relationships this always happens and messes everything up...

This very thing right here...

>>From Autism Speaks<<
It is common – but not universal – for those with autism to have difficulty regulating emotions. This can take the form of seemingly “immature” behavior such as crying or having outbursts in inappropriate situations. It can also lead to disruptive and physically aggressive behavior. The tendency to “lose control” may be particularly pronounced in unfamiliar, overwhelming or frustrating situations.

That part of my Autism really ruins things or even when I just deeply like someone its hard to contain my feelings and I just end up scaring the person away or I get friends annoyed with me and I don't mean it. None of this behavior. It just happens right out of the blue when I don't even want it to. So at times it makes me afraid to even try to be close with anyone, because my emotions over flow a lot if I get to deep with anyone and it just makes me so scared. What do I do? I wish I could change, but I can't. I've tried to so many times. I'm so totally depressed about this. It even made me cry.

Have you tried prayer?

Yes, of course.

do you have a p-doc yet?

Prayer might help, but God only understands autism because he understands everything. It's not the same thing as connecting with a non-omniscient person you can actually hug if you happen to want to hug somebody.

OK, so.... you show your emotions too strongly and too quickly, right? I wonder if some social skills classes might help, so that you can learn how to communicate better. NTs often communicate less emotion than they feel, and so when they see your emotions right out there, obvious, they probably assume that you are feeling much more emotion than you actually are.

I have this problem. I am absolutely transparent. I can't hide emotion; I wear my heart on my sleeve. So things always look more extreme than they are. I've warned a few people about this, namely counselors and other support people, so that they are not worried about a psychological crisis. Thankfully for me it is not a severe problem because my emotions are not generally out of control, so that when I show my true emotions they look strong but not frighteningly extreme. In comparison to the average NT, I am probably more stoic and controlled than most (unless I am in overload, at which point all bets are off).

So you have two ways to approach this: Either learn how to rein in your emotions so that they are not so extreme, or else learn how to communicate only some of what you are feeling. Those are both skills to learn rather than fundamental changes to who you are, so they should be doable. By the way, when I say "learn how to rein in your emotions", I don't mean to imply that you can directly force yourself to feel things one way or the other. I'm talking more along the lines of learning relaxation skills and such, so that you are more emotionally stable in general.

Some of it may just be time. People usually get better at this stuff as they get older. Once you leave the teen years, it all gradually starts getting easier, maybe because your hormones are settling down. By your profile, you're mid-twenties, so you should be seeing some of that; compare yourself now to yourself at age fifteen, and there'll probably be some progress. Just so long as you keep making progress, that's all you can expect of yourself.

What do you mean?

By best suggestion is to find people who understand or who are patient. You may be dealing with people who are selfish or cannot deal with your behavior. These are not the people for you at all.

I am in the exact same boat you are and I am starting to understand that the people that stay in my life are the ones that belong in my life.

If people move on from you, you should move on from them. They are not worth your time. Find people that do care because they are out there. Even some NTs will stay with you if you find the ones that care and have patience.

Honestly anybody who does not give you a chance is not worth your time.

If took me awhile to realize there is nothing wrong with how I think or how I feel. It is part of who I am and it will not change for anyone. I only need to change enough so that people will accept me.

I have the problem of aggressive behavior talked about in your thing from Autism speaks or whatever in some situations where I feel threatened in some way. I lash out because I feel like I am being threatened even if it is only in a small way only I can see. It is so frustrating. People think I am being abusive but I am the one who feels abused. It is a meltdown out of pure frustration and out of some protection mechanism. Fight or flight response I would say. The best thing for me to do is have someone who can steer me whenever I feel this way. But I have still been unable to find that person. Unfortunatley

Did it work?

It probably just takes time, but I just wish I knew of a way to find more people that understands me for the time being as I struggle.

I mean I'm a really sweet, nice, kind and loyal person and so many people give me such good compliments like that. They even say that I'm trustworthy and modest. So many people are nice in the beginning and say that they accept me for him who I am and then when the finally find out about this other side. Like when I start to overreact just a bit then they call me annoying and don't wanna hardly talk to me anymore. Of course you know Autism makes it really hard for a person to communicate with people in real life and plus I'm just very shy which only makes my communication problems even worse. So I try to bond and make good friendships on some sites and I'll be friends with people even up to 2 years even and they just end up turning on me and of course I won't take that crap and I unfriend them. I tell you it just ruins close friendships and especially relationships. I'm afraid no ones even gonna be able to handle me enough to wanna be with me which makes me a lot more depressed and I already take depression/anxiety medicine so I won't have a panic attack. So much stress like this only makes my depression/anxiety even worse though. I mean honestly I'm a really sweet person and I'm never mean to anyone or try to purposely make them feel uncomfortable like they say that I do. Then they say that I can control it if I really wanted to, acting like its my fault. Then I get all sensitive and start crying.

a mental health therapist of some kind.

God sometimes humbles those He calls by denying their prayers for relief - either that, or prayer simply does not work.

Fnord, dude, I know you're an agnostic, but this is not the time to proselytize, okay? The girl is trying to get some advice here. Stop running off on philosophical rabbit trails and have some respect for others' beliefs.

Callista, the first part was for her, and the second part was to ward off the more rabid non-believers.

Sometimes, God does humble those whom He chooses for His service with trials and adversity. So, if she is suffering now, there may be brighter times ahead for her!

No, I don't currently see one.

Getting smart with me huh? Please stop. I'm really not up for this right now.