Meltdowns

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Do seemingly innocuous things send you into a meltdown? Things that an NT person might not be bothered by, or just brush off as minor.

Do they leave you emotional for the rest of the day, and exhausted?

Does no one else around you get why?

Could use solidarity.

I'm not one for meltdowns in particular. I used to lash out as a child and I still have a panic attacks if I'm hugged or touched if that's what you mean. But I think that's different from a meltdown.

It doesn't always trigger a meltdown, but I think I know what you mean. The stress from something doesn't seem to leave me as quickly as others, especially if it's something that doesn't/can't get resolved.
Example: I just caught my dog chewing on a bottle of (very important to me) antibiotics. She didn't eat them, just crushed half of them and the bottle they were in. I yelled and sent her outside. No harm done, right? Except I'll be shaky and upset all day over the combo of the mess she made, the extra trouble it's going to be to take the pills now, how awful I feel for yelling as a reaction, etc. I literally sat down in the kitchen floor and cried once she was out. Is that sort of what you mean?

Yes, that's what I mean.
By "meltdown" I don't mean the sort that young children have, but a more mature, if that's the word for it, version.

Example: Today, I went to the doctor, and on the paper she gives me when I leave with my diagnosis, she has put the diagnostic code for obesity, in addition to my other diagnoses. I drove home somewhat miffed, and once I got in the door and my grandmother asked how the appointment was, I went on a tirade, including saying that I wanted to punch the doctor in the face and that I hoped she went to hell. Very loudly. Then my grandmother, ever so helpful, said "But you are obese" (I'm not extremely obese, heavy, definitely, but healthy and proportionate and all), and I escalated in tone and threats against the doctor and began crying and thinking about hurting myself. Whereas someone normal might have called a spade a spade and accepted the fact that my weight is not ideal and is pretty high, which I know already, and shrugged their shoulders and moved on. I've been exhausted and emotional ever since.

What is the exact definition of a meltdown?...

I do have meltdowns over very unimportant things to NT's-some are legendary.

The trigger for a meltdown to me may be trivial to others but it's not the sole cause of it. Usually I have been through a lot of stress and each stressful event just builds and builds and soon I find myself yelling at the iron for not ironing my clothes the way I want it to. When my shirt would fold, ohhh did that ever p*** me off.

It took three days to get over something my sister did. I ranted about it here and it raises too many emotions to even think about it.

Last edited by pensieve on 13 Jan 2012, 8:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

A loss over emotional control, usually in the form of yelling, swearing, crying, hitting. In children mistaken as tantrums.
Autistic meltdowns are usually due to sensory and emotional stress. There is a dysfunction in the limbic system that usually regulates emotions. The same dysfunction is in ADHD and may be in bipolar. Even NT's have them but not as frequent and in not as much intensity.

You may hear something about internal meltdowns but this when it is suppressed so it doesn't draw attention to people. To do so is a cost to your physical and emotional well being. I've almost passed out from it. I looked like I was having a panic attack. And if held in long enough you have a shut down which can differ from individual. A delayed one can manifest as depression and a severe immediate one involves the loss of motor movements, slowed cognition (in thinking/writing), loss of speech or difficulty speaking, jumbled sensory processing, and what looks like depersonalisation. Quite often I'll completely lose emotions.

Ah, yes. I seem to have more internal than external meltdowns. During external meltdowns, I might hit myself, or just look like I'm going to jump out of my skin.

Back when I went to school two kids pulled my hoodie down exposing my head. I went into meltdown mode over having my security violated and went into a full blown meltdown slaming my head against a wall. I screamed at the kids and tried to bite one of them. I had to be restrain.

Yeah I had a meltdown over the fact that my mom eat one of my pillsbury toaster strudels. In fact I will have meltdowns over things that NT's find dumb and I can remember them for a very very very long time.

Yes, for me.
Just like pensieve wrote - for me it's also a build-up of too much stress over time, and then the smallest thing can make me "pop".

My last meltdown was very embarrassing at work. I tried to make an appointment with a doc I had seen before but they couldn't get me an appointment until two weeks later. I completely broke down in front of everyone.

My meltdowns usually happen after "small" things but they are really the result of multiple things piling up. It's rare for me to have a meltdown in public and it will come out when I'm alone. Sometimes it happens in the car but most of the time it waits until I get home. I call it 'it' because it seems to take on a life all it's own. It's usually in the form of crying but sometimes it's anger and throwing things.

Today I was driving home after spending the night at my brothers house. I had an appointment near there and we had dinner and cake to celebrate my birthday that was on the 11th. That combined with playing with my two year old niece put me into overload. When I got home I had a meltdown. It was all good stuff but still majorly overwhelming.

I have more of the aforementioned "internal meltdowns" over stuff like that. I can resist outwardly expressing it, but I will get unreasonably upset if someone interferes with something of mine that would be totally normal to other people...I am not happy.

Mind you I don't like any of that but outside of telling my mom for the 1000th time It really get's to me. Other times if I had a bad day at work and just want to watch my TV and play world of warcraft my niece and nephew will be over and I can't just have my alone time and there are points I just go into meltdown mode.

Sometimes when my sister stays way to long with her kids I go into meltdown mode. It's really bad because I know that she will ask me to take her dog out to the car. Jeez she got the dog into the car at her house on her own she can't do the same thing when she goes to go back home.

Are they silly things for NT's? Sure for me? Yeah well they don't seem silly to me.

I used to be able to more or less keep it together back when I was a more social person. I had panic attacks under stress or when I was surrounded by too many people, or when people were paying close attention to me (such as looking over my shoulder when I was working). Sometimes I had to leave the room because I couldn't breathe, but I usually managed to remain where I was and just... dunno, freeze up and retreat a bit more into my own head. I got tunnel vision, all sounds seemed to come from far away, and I wasn't fully able to understand what people were saying anymore. I guess that's how a deer in the headlights must feel.

But I never acted out in any way, until I had a nervous breakdown one day and just sat there crying and clutching my head. Nowadays, this happens more often and over rather unimportant things. But only when I'm at home, never when I'm in a social situation. It's especially common when I'm more depressed than usual and haven't seen another human being for a week (I only go shopping once a week). For example, I accidentally drop a coffee mug, look at the mess, slump down onto the floor and cry my eyes out for an hour, until I realize that the cats are disturbed by my behavior.

I also get angry sometimes and start to swear. This didn't ever happen until two years or so ago. I don't get violent or anything, I just rant and curse. I really try not to do that because it majorly freaks out my cats. I never scold them and always talk to them in a soft voice, so they aren't used to me shouting and ranting and think they have done something wrong I always have to do damage control after I had such a phase and stood there shouting at my coffee machine or my dryer for twenty minutes. But I can't always control this. It's either angry ranting or another miniature nervous breakdown with lots of crying somewhere down the line. I sometimes feel like a completely crazy person after such an event. Oh well.

Edited to add: Actually, I think I could stop these angry rants if I wanted. The problem is that I don't want to when I'm in that mood, because I'm just upset and nothing seems to matter anymore.