Asperger Syndrome and Socializing....anyone relate?

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I have been dxed w/ Asperger Syndrome and find something odd happens when attempting to socialize.

Nothing is spontaneous - I have to consciously think of how to act and react.

One perplexing problem i've noticed is that during the rare time that I meet a new "friend" (it doesn't last), we seem to run into the problem of "how to kill time". In other words, I or the other person runs out of things to say or do very quickly........we may be sitting at a restaurant and the time doesn't flow, it STOPS !

When NT people are together, they can sit at one place for a long time and seem infinitely entertained by their own emotions and stories; they share, share and share. Whereas in Aspieland, I'm sitting with the other person and the time drags.......neither I nor the other person can figure out how to fill the time. We literally run out of things to do. It becomes an onerous task just to figure out enough things to do to eliminate the awkwardness.

For example, I and "friend G" are sitting at a restaurant for dinner. From 6-7 pm, the challenge is how to make enough small talk while waiting for the meal and check to arrive.

Then if we're supposed to hang out longer, the challenge is what the hell to do. The only thing remotely appealing in my Aspie mind is a really good movie or video game.......any activity to avoid having to make conversation. But even that is awkward because during a movie I am sort of conscious of the other person's presence so can't really enjoy it.

Sorry this is so long, but I guess it boils down to this. HOW DO NTs MANAGE TO GET MARRIED AND SPEND SOOOOOO MUCH TIME TOGETHER? As an Aspie, I run out of things to say and the other person is burdened with having to hold the ship for both of us. So it gets painfully awkward, and it is just easier to let the friendship fade than meet and worry about how to kill 4-5 hours.

Somehow NTs don't always need movies or games......they just sit across from each other and manage to entertain the other with conversation alone! This is just unimaginable for me.....

Wonder if any of you experience the same when trying to meet people?

I get the nothing being spontaneous thing. It's all an act and hard to remember all the things NT's expect during interaction.

Since I didn't know about Asperger's most of my life, I desired to fit in and was frustrated that I couldn't. I'm smart; I should be able to figure this out, right? Now that I know, some of those things have lost their importance. They never mattered; it was just my warped perspective.

I used to feel like the burden of a conversation was on me. I hated awkward pauses so much that I've conditioned myself to think of anything to talk about, anytime, anywhere. I can make up a poem or story about anything. Perhaps it comes from being in charge of the entertainment for 6 younger siblings but talking too much can be a problem, too: it's overbearing. These days, I practice pauses on purpose. I think other people should bear some of the burden and I should allow them to carry it.

For me, there is a big difference between one-on-one interactions and group interactions. During one-on-one interactions, the problem is that I have no idea what the socially accepted topics are, so I always talk about whatever is on my mind or interesting to me, and these things tend to be too weird for the other person, who is expecting me to talk about the socially accepted topics. During group interactions, the problem is that I cannot keep up with the back and forth and give and take, so I am either silent or if not silent, then too weird to be heard, because, again, everyone is expecting me to talk about the socially accepted topics in the socially accepted ways, whatever they and they are. Oh wait, I guess that there is not much of a difference at all.

I am facinated with how two NTs(or more) are able to coverse basically non stop, like it is the most natural thing in the world. I find it kind of amazing actually. Any coversations I have is always filled with alot of awkward silences.

For me it depends. It comes and goes. In fact I have seen other aspies doing what other NTs do. I see it in my groups all the time. I have been the only one talking before and the other person doesn't say much.