People forgetting you are an Aspie

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You know it really takes a lot to tell people that you have AS, and some people are really sympathetic, where as some people don't really care.

This topic is about how even the people that are sympathetic of it, appear to forget that you are an Aspie sometimes, and get frustrated with you and expect you to act like a normal person.

So why is this?

The other day I had a conversation that turned into a conversation about hand gestures and tone of voice, when it occurred to me I wasn't doing any of those things for the previous few hours in the company of these friends. So it was like their rude reminder that I cannot do those things.

It was just to be humourous to remind them that I had AS, but I started exaggerating all my hand gestures and expressions and tone of voice to show them that I understand what it is!

IE:


but I just prefer to communicate how I feel comfortable, which might happen to be very monotone and expressionless at times.

Does anyone else have any stories or accounts where you have told close friends about AS, only to have them pry at these disadvantages unknowingly because they just think of you as an NT?

I think people forget because they have been around other NTs their whole lives. So they are used to someone acting a certain way. Just like how I will keep forgetting someone is deaf or blind because I am used to being around hearing and vision paired people. It took me two years to remember my husband has bad feet and they limit him. I was so used to being around people with working feet. So I suspect the thing thing happens with AS.

Some people are just forgetful, that's all.

With people who have no obvious physical disability or severe cognitive deficits, there is very much an expectation of them to "straighten up and fly right", so to speak.

So an individual of average let alone above average intelligence, YES, will be expected to act like a "normal" person,
because people constantly make presumptions about others, those presumptions often being erroneous, and, moreover, once they get into the habit of doing so, will continue to do so.

People have their personal, emotional reactions to things.....i too have experienced telling people about my AS and it having a neutral result, at best. The person still feels slighted or perhaps hurt that I didn't respond in an NT-emotional way.

In other instances, it has had a slightly positive result- they are slightly more understanding. But like you, i've experienced negative interactions with people who know about AS and where the disclosure didn't seem to have a significant impact.

I don't have too much trouble, being told to act more normal, but I totally get the tone of voice thing.

I am sometimes pretty flat, other times very animated, but here's the thing, I have to choose between modes of processing.

NTs just think you're being reactive when you're flat and not very expressive, for me, when I am that way it's because it's the only way I can be around people and process what they're saying at the same time.

When I am more animated, I'm most likely not listening to what's being said and have no idea what's going on, people might not know it , so I appear pretty normal but I will totally be in my own world.

Most people can do both at the same but I can very rarely be animated and pay attention to things at the same time, putting on the social charms takes some effort.a