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I'm crying like a ridiculous baby as I type so disregard any typing error. I'm french, and for those of you who read alex's last article about autism in france, you'll know what that means. I opposed to the psychanalytic treatment of my child by a psychiatrist ( who bloody well diagnosed him), and I didn't take him to the last appointment. This morning we had a meeting at school with everyone involved (including school psychologist and social worker, and the director of the school, my son's teacher etc) and they said they didn't believe in "autism" and that because my child was psychotic (wtf) he has to go to the psychiatrist appointment. It's too late to do that anyway because they are now going to report me to CPS, for "lack of care", and they added that since my son was now very happy in school, it probably meant that he was unhappy at home, and that they worry that his little sister is going to take the same path if they allow her to live with me!! !! !
I need help

Last edited by ediself on 23 Jan 2012, 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

WTF? this is just nuts! Can you home school in France?

Yes but what started this is that I homeschooled partially last year and as a result the director of the school absolutely hates me, if i try homeschooling I don't stand a chance of keeping the kids!! they'll say i don't want to socialize him and am causing the problem ! !

I have a friend in France, her son is about 13 this year. He is ridiculed in France for the most stupidest of things. France, is not a good place for education when it comes to those who are different. My best advice to you is find a new school/and or even if it means perhaps moving, find another school in another town. Perhaps even moving outside of France to somewhere that understands Autism more? these are just Suggestions.

Germany is the Same.. I was forced to give up my son by his German father because they cannot understand that I have AS. I feel that Europe itself is backwards when it comes to differences in People. Nothing much has changed since the times of War, They all want mindless clones in their society, any differences will be assimulated (spelling?)

'Your child is psychotic' <- BS.

However, I've just had a conversation with someone, she told me that a good (trustworthy) psychologist told her that the problems with her son (5.5 yo) at least partly might be the result of not enough socializing (I think he has pronounced ADHD traits). More precisely, when she doesn't feel like socializing, it doesn't mean that he couldn't benefit from it. In other words, she might project her aversion from socializing into him unconsciously. Maybe this is something similar that might have happened to you. Just an idea, please don't take it as an offense, I hope things will get better for you and your children.

Psychoanalytic treatment? Isn't that like "Psychoanalyse" in Germany? There's no way a professional who practises that will diagnose autism because it doesn't exist in that area of psychology. Whatever autistic symptoms someone has would get blamed on traumatic experiences and stuff like that.

Psychoanalysis is completely utterly useless when it comes to autism.

Is it possible to have your son see another psychiatrist or preferably a psychiatrist of a (well-respected) who if necessary does the a decent diagnostic process (even if it's been done before) to write a report that states that your son has a PDD as defined by either the ICD or the DSM?

France is so close but I admit I have no idea of French health insurance(s) and social child welfare department management... sorry. I'm going to make a point and watch that documentary.

If a similar situation would happen to a parent in Germany it would be crucial to get at least one other opinion of a decent psychiatrist or a psychiatry in order to have a defence against whatever ridiculous and unprofessional ideas the school (and usually the child/youth welfare department) have about what they feel the child should be diagnosed with. Would that work in France too?

If a school reports a family to the child welfare department in Germany then it's usually a good idea to actually call them yourself asap, present your case from your point of view and point out what all you did to provide adequate help to your child. The more positive official (medical) documentation a parent has the better because your average social worker has no degree in medical science and can't get away with claiming that a professional diagnosis is wrong.

I sincerely doubt they could file a report against you that states that your child is in acute danger as long as he stays with you. That would only be the case if a child was actually heavily and obviously mistreated.

Unless the French system is totally different from the German one, the child welfare department probably won't do anything as long as you make a good impression and prove to them that you're doing your best for your kid's future. Calling local psychiatrist/psychiatries for an appointment (even if said appointment it's still, like, 3-6 months from now) is something that should quieten the social welfare department down. Perhaps they could even prove to be useful and provide a list of addresses of places that actually have some experience with children with AS and classical autism.

There's got to be at least a few people in France who're qualified to recognise a PDD even if they're several kilometres away and not usually responsible for the city/area/province you live in.

I really want to answer you guys but it's so hard to do in the middle of a stupid meltdown (no I still haven't stopped crying, I'm not "sobbing " though so I guess I'm a bit better) i now have a headache.....ojani: he does socialize though, he has friends at school and a girlfirend he sometimes sees outside of school , it's just a bit hard tearing him away from the computer....some of his special interests involve some obscure video game "stars" who record their adventures.....
Sora: after you watch the documentary, and read the article, you'll understand how it's a psychiatrist who practices psychoanalysis who diagnosed my son. That's all we have here, no real "pro", no "specialist", there is an autism ressource center not far and I've contacted them but their waiting list is about a year.
I spoke to the school about that, and they said such an official diagnosis would only ensure my son would be put in a psychiatric hospital.
As everyone knows (here), autism is caused by abuse.refrigerator mothers. incestuous mothers, whatever, it's the mother's fault. Everything around here revolves around freudian psychology, bettelheim's theories, etc. They're ALL against me I can do nothing, saying that psychology doesn't cure autism is met with laughter and shakings of heads.
They're going to call, and they've probably done it by now, I don't know.
I need to stop typing my head hurts

I haven't watched the entirety of the film yet, but what I have seen so far is truly shocking. I had no idea that kind of thinking was still accepted. Truly astounding, words fail me.

I'm sorry that there are no words I can think of to help you ediself, but I'm sure you'll have much support here.

Hello!

My post wasn't much more that a rant about France in general, so I had to go back and edit all that out.

May you find a way for common sense to overcome the arrogance (and ignorance) of the medical and educational communities there, and to get your children the help they truly need.

Have A Great Day!

Rob

Ediself, I'm so sorry to hear what you are being put through right now! But I will say this: at least your son has a mother who really seems to love, respect, and understand him and who clearly is willing to fight for him. It is really hard to overstate just how important and powerful that can be for a child, especially a child on the autistic spectrum. So while times are tough right now, just know that your son is incredibly lucky to have you as a parent, and that your love and support will continue to be amongst the most valuable assets he has in life.

Do you know anyone you trust who's a good poker player? You need to get a read on the bad guys, find out how serious/bluffing they are and whether they can be threatened. If I were your psychopath husband/boyfriend, I would spend a couple of weeks staking out the bad guys' relatives' houses, taking lots of photographs of them looking vulnerable, and then I would knock on the school director's door at 9pm, invite myself in and very calmly explain that his whole family would be murdered if he didn't stay out of your family business. Obviously be smart about it so he can't call the police without losing credibility.

This sounds like overkill but you have to understand we're all just animals and this is how the game is played. They're attacking you because they perceive weakness. Is your psychopath the father? He needs to get involved, but in a smart way. Get a read on them first, find out how serious they are. Don't be bullied. Determine whether they can be finessed while also finding their breaking points. Good luck.

edit: oh, or hire a private detective to dig up dirt on the director with which to blackmail him. My first resort is always violence, I forget there are sneakier ways. Planting drugs is always good, I've actually done that.

If there is any line you won't cross to protect your children, you don't exist to me.

Last edited by fraac on 23 Jan 2012, 2:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah obviously if I can't convince him it's serious enough to make him move us back in wih him in his country, the stalking part isn't gonna happen. He's the father of the girl only. right now he's trying to convince me that he can't provide for us. The director is a woman btw.
I wish I was a sociopath.

Women are even better - they're afraid of getting raped and they're more likely to not re-raise the stakes. But perhaps more to your taste, find her weakness. What if she were accused of having sex with a young boy? Young boys can be paid.

I'm really sorry you're in this position. I hope you make them regret it.

He is on the waiting list though, yes? Have you googled for adult (or children) support groups for autistic people, parents of autistic children or non-government associations from/for autistic people of all ages and the like already too? Someone with a diagnosis or with a child with a diagnosis has to have the address of where them or their child received a real and well-documented diagnosis that also underlines that you're absolutely not responsible for your son's behaviours/specialness. I think there's got to be something to make you feel better!

Even a diagnosis may not warrant much if the social welfare department and school are opposed to it but just being in touch with 2-3 parents who have children on the spectrum might help. Besides, it interests some parents of autistic children greatly to meet an adult on the spectrum and see that they have a family and do all sorts of stuff!

I do wonder though what your son would need a diagnosis for. Does he need support in some area? Schooling? Social interaction? It doesn't sound as if even a diagnosis that would get recognised by school would necessarily help you and your son in that case.

I know that German schools fancy not allowing even lightly autistic children in. Parents don't know where to enrol autistic children of at least average intelligence because schools come up with all kinds of excuses.

If you're able to, the United Kingdom is only a ferry ride away.

I am terribly unfamiliar with Medical Practices of Foriegn Nations, but, I would advise you the same way I would anyone here in the U.S.

Educate yourself, first and foremost. Take nothing for granted, just because someone says something, get outside confirmation. IDK how the court system in France works specifically either, but if you're honestly worried that they're going to take your kids away, would consulting a lawyer not be a good idea? (Im sure actual hiring of one would be expensive, but a consultation should be free, Google "Autistic Children Lawyer France" would be where I would start).

I haven't watched the film, but the fact that the film Alex Posted is there, and the article says what it does, then Im guessing things are pretty bad for understanding of Autism there. That said, I highly doubt you're the only woman with autistic children. Look around for people in your area with autistic kids, or even autistic adults. Try the net first, but if you see someone you suspect of being autistic, and getting help is the only way to keep your kids, don't be afraid to ask. Another Place I could suggest looking is Meetup.com (Or any French variant there of).

I don't know what things are like there, so I don't really know what you're going through. Your actions and the way you type here suggests its pretty bad. So I would guess things probably aren't going to be easy, but you probably already knew that. After what I said above, the last thing I can suggest is to ready yourself for some not so easy times. But if you trust in yourself, and your ability to find what you need, and to keep looking anywhere and everywhere you can, then I would wager theres a good chance things will turn out ok. I have a hard time believing that, autism or not, France is any more interested in separating kids from parents then most modernized nations (Particularly if the father of one of them is trying hard not to end up with them).

My last suggestion is one that just occurred to me..... This would take a great deal of trust on your part, but its something you might try, though I would highly suggest thinking about it before you do it. This board has alot of aspie's on it, and from the time I've been here, a fair few of them are pretty good at trawling the net. If someone volunteered to help, or if you volunteered your Geographical Location to someone that might be able to help, maybe we can help you look for something? I don't know, this is just a thought, and I am by no means suggesting you just put personal information out available for any to view. But I know what its like to feel alone in trying to do something you feel desperate about. It might help if said volunteers were able to speak/read French, as I would wager any site with useful information on it would probably be written in French, and I know for sure I couldn't read French if my life depended on it ^^;.

Good Luck,
Aldran