Another "Do I have aspergers?" thread. Edited

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Hamburglertime
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28 Jan 2012, 5:26 pm

I've talked to my mother and a psychologist about this. So far, they believe it's a possibility, but it's months until I can properly see someone about it and proceed to get an actual diagnosis, if I do have it. I keep fixating on it, and it'd be nice to have more opinions on the matter.

I added a few things after reading more about aspergers in general, because although I've done a ton of research on it, originally writing this I forgot to put in things that would have been helpful. They're in italics.

Through my mother, I've found out about my childhood. I don't know if this factors in to anything, but when I was an infant, I slept more than normal, and I didn't cry much.

I started talking late, at around the age of three.

I'm told I literally had no friends in preschool. I was a loner, because I was weird. Even adults didn't really like me, because I was too weird. She said I just didn't seem to follow the social code, and it made people uncomfortable. She was nice about it, though, saying it was just me being me.

I was very picky about my clothes. I can remember hating the seams at the toes of socks, and I didn't really like wearing clothes at all. I remember just wearing a pair of underpants around the house until the age of 9, I believe.

I don't remember this, but my mom told me I got very very upset if a "routine" was broken. She can't think of any examples, but it was a long running thing with me.

My experience with school wasn't ideal. I don't remember this particular event, but at some point, teachers were questioning my intelligence. They thought I was mildy retarded, and had me do some sort of mental test. It wasn't an IQ test, though, so I don't have specific numbers. As it turns out, I was much more intelligent than average, which surprised them.

At some point, I was briefly diagnosed with ADHD. My brother has it, so that probably factored into it. But, it was very quickly undiagnosed. I forget precisely why, but it had to do with them mistakenly thinking I couldn't focus on activities, I believe.

I remember being more of an obnoxious child at a young age, with no real filter on what I was saying, and I had no idea I was bothering people. I don't remember precisely when this changed, but I became very quiet and withdrawn. This hasn't changed. At this point, making friends was easier because I wasn't making an ass out of myself.

I was rather good at drawing and art, so other children would come to my desk and ask me to draw pictures for them. This was how I made friends at a new school when I moved. I was still weird, I just didn't talk as much because I was afraid people would dislike me. It was easier to do things like drawing for friends, and they appreciated it.

Being very quiet and submissive, I was bullied. Nothing particularly unusual about the bullying, though. They just picked on my because I didn't fight back.

Yet again, teachers questioned my intelligence, and made me get a proper IQ test. I got 118, which is disappointing. I tell myself I could have gotten higher, had it not been for me being an insomniac and not caring for the test at the time, but I'm sure it's actually accurate. Oh well. At least I can get a score of 200 on those crappy online tests.

I moved yet again, in grade 8. Making friends was much harder, because I couldn't just sit there and draw for other students. Luckily, the school I went to had a group of weirdos. They basically adopted me. I was paranoid that I was a terribly annoying friend, and would constantly ask "Am I being annoying". The only annoying thing I ever did to them, was ask that question. It was such a terrible habit I developed, it was hard to stop asking, because I was afraid if I stopped asking, I would do more annoying things and I wouldn't know it.

Currently, I'm still very quiet and withdrawn. Even more so than before, because I've moved and I'm out of school, and it's harder to make friends. I've always spent an enormous amount of time on the computer, mostly researching whatever I currently have an interest in. I get obsessions that generally last a couple weeks, and I move on to something else. Though, I've always had a couple of less intense, but longer lived interests. I like astronomy and baking. I remember talking non-stop to a friend of mine in class about black holes for 15 minutes. Part of it was because I wanted to prove I knew more about black holes than she knew about horses. I was only stopped by the bell ending class.

I'm still incredibly picky about my clothing. I don't like certain fabrics, clothing sewn with plastic bits in the seams for support, or tags. I like soft long sleeved shirts that I can hide my hands in. I'm also picky about my bedding, and I have spent a lot of money to make my bed comfortable. Egyptian cotton sheets, fluffy mattress cover, feather duvet, not a down duvet. Feather duvets are heavier and provide more pressure, which I like.

I'm picky about the lighting, and I've bought specific lightbulbs to make myself comfortable in my room.

Very very very picky about the temperature and humidity. I will be very frustrated and irritable if it's not right.

I'm picky about my food, but it's equal parts taste and texture. I like good quality food with good flavour, probably because I have a large interest in cooking and baking, and I have higher standards than the average person. I'm a supertaster, according to those food colouring tests. I would like to get a proper test to see if it's correct, but I don't doubt it. Very picky about the flavours and the way they meld together in prepared food.

Also picky about the way my hair sits. I absolutely hate the way my natural hair feels on my ears and neck, so I used to wear pony tails all the time. Since then, I've found that flat ironing it is more comfortable, and it looks nicer. I don't like the way pony tails pull my scalp, so it's worth the effort in straightening it. Partially why I hate humidity because it will make my hair frizz and I hate the way it feels on my ears and neck.

Ever since I can ever remember, which would be 2-3, I've always fiddled my feet around. I never knew why. But I was always moving them to some imaginary beat in my head. They could get quite complicated, especially if I did it to music. But I have a favourite pattern I naturally go back to when I don't pay attention to it. I always do this when I'm sitting or lying down. Very very few exceptions to this. It's a conscious effort if i want to stop, and I will forget about it and automatically start it again.

I remember when standing for periods of time, I will rock back and forth, side to side or front to back, sort of thing. Students in my class commented on it, and made fun of my for it. I still do it, and I don't even notice. It's automatic.

I used to wave my arms around, especially when walking. I'd accidentally hit people sometimes, because I never paid attention to it. Sometimes when I'm standing, I'll have my arms swinging back and forth, as if I were walking, but I'm not. I don't actually swing my arms when I walk, anymore. I usually have my hands clasped in the front, on my coat or sweater to keep it closed, or my hands just sitting by my side.

I've always chewed on things, too. I have multiple shirts with holes in the collar area or cuffs because I chewed on them so much. When I first got a hooded sweatshirt, I was quite happy, because I could chew the hood lace and it wouldn't cause noticeable damage. I also chew my nails, nail bed, inner cheek and lips, but I think that's rather normal. I remember when I was younger, I'd chew the area under the lip, inside my mouth. It makes a cool sound.

I hate large sounds, and my mom told me I've been like that since I was a baby. I always listen to my music quietly, and I couldn't fathom why other people listen to music so loudly. It's painful and annoying.

I shower at least every day, and I put baby powder on my skin because I really don't like humidity or moisture.


I get really overwhelmed and stressed out easily. I can barely work, because I get overwhelmed, and I don't even know why. I quit a part time job because I was working 22 hours a week, and it was too much for me. I would get very depressed, with terrible anxiety, and I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried on the nights before I would have to work. When I wasn't working, I would fixate on how I would have to work in a couple days, and I took absolutely no pleasure in any activities I enjoyed.

My current job is only 10 hours a week, and it's tolerable. I've kept it for a year and a half. My boss is very understanding of my awkwardness and quietness. She's more of a quiet person, but still converses frequently with customers. If any of my coworkers were in charge, I would've been fired a long time ago, because none of them like me. They think that because I'm quiet, I'm incompetent. I'm actually much better than them when it comes to working, the only difference is I can be clumsy. Though I haven't broken anything yet, luckily.

I've been diagnosed with depression, dysthymia, and anxiety. It's kind of amusing, though, because my psychologist has a special interest in aspergers, and he never even thought of it when seeing me. When I brought it up, he was surprised, because it fit so well. But I live in Canada, and at least where I live in Canada, you can't just be diagnosed by a psychologist. You have to get a psychological evaluation, and I need a referral for that. I've been waiting months to see this other psychologist so I can get a referral. Technically, I can just go and get the evaluation, but it won't be covered by my mother's health insurance. And it would be very expensive to travel and then pay for the evaluation.



Last edited by Hamburglertime on 29 Jan 2012, 8:13 pm, edited 3 times in total.

cathylynn
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28 Jan 2012, 5:35 pm

try the brief test at www.iautistic.com/test_AS.php



justalouise
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28 Jan 2012, 6:49 pm

Your progression through life sounds very, very similar to mine. I don't know if I'm projecting my own experiences here or not, but I would be inclined to think that there is a good chance you are affected by AS.



RazorEddie
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28 Jan 2012, 6:52 pm

I have to say your description does seem to fit the profile, however it is impossible for even an expert to give an accurate assessment from just that.

Run through the tests in this thread, especially the AQ test and Aspie Quiz. There is another test here. None of these test can give an accurate diagnosis but if you get consistently high scores on all of them then you may well have an autistic spectrum disorder. It may also be a good idea to show the results to your psychologist.

When taking the tests you have to be absolutely honest with yourself. Answer the way you truly feel, not how you think you should feel. It is quite likely that you will have difficulty answering some of the questions. In some cases it may help to discuss them with your mother or a friend.



Hamburglertime
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28 Jan 2012, 7:02 pm

cathylynn wrote:
try the brief test at www iautistic com/test_AS.php


It says probably not autistic.

"(IV) The client learns to speak at about the same time as most children (e.g. single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by age 3 years)"

I started speaking late. I didn't speak until age 3.

I notice if I check that off, it tells me that I'm likely to be autistic. Oh well.



Hamburglertime
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28 Jan 2012, 7:21 pm

RazorEddie wrote:
I have to say your description does seem to fit the profile, however it is impossible for even an expert to give an accurate assessment from just that.

Run through the tests in this thread, especially the AQ test and Aspie Quiz. There is another test here. None of these test can give an accurate diagnosis but if you get consistently high scores on all of them then you may well have an autistic spectrum disorder. It may also be a good idea to show the results to your psychologist.

When taking the tests you have to be absolutely honest with yourself. Answer the way you truly feel, not how you think you should feel. It is quite likely that you will have difficulty answering some of the questions. In some cases it may help to discuss them with your mother or a friend.


I've done tests, and they always say I could have aspergers. If they didn't, I don't think I would pursue a diagnosis, because it would be quite obvious I'm unlikely to have it.

I've tried talking to my mother about things, such as when I was a child. Sometimes she's helpful, because she remembers things I can't. Sometimes it's disappointing, because she didn't notice or can't remember things I do. There's discrepancies between our memories, and it confuses me.



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28 Jan 2012, 7:33 pm

Hamburglertime wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
try the brief test at www iautistic com/test_AS.php


It says probably not autistic.

"(IV) The client learns to speak at about the same time as most children (e.g. single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by age 3 years)"

I started speaking late. I didn't speak until age 3.

I notice if I check that off, it tells me that I'm likely to be autistic. Oh well.


This test is only for Asperger's. Autistic children (other than aspies) usually start to speak late, or not at all in case of severe autism. It might be that you are a high-functioning autist instead of an aspie.

(Btw, this is why I'm against removing AS from the DSM. No matter how similar it is to HFA, there are certain differences that should also be reflected in the diagnostic criteria).



Last edited by CrazyCatLord on 28 Jan 2012, 7:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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28 Jan 2012, 7:34 pm

You can't get anything more reasurring off of us then your psychologist telling you it's a possibility, which it obviously is.

Your childhood behavior in particular is what I've noted, as a teen and as an adult I don't see anything that strongly stands out as specifically AS - save being clumsy.


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Hamburglertime
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28 Jan 2012, 8:02 pm

CrazyCatLord wrote:
This test is only for Asperger's. Autistic children (other than aspies) usually start to speak late, or not at all in case of severe autism. It might be that you are a high-functioning autist instead of an aspie.

(Btw, this is why I'm against removing AS from the DSM. No matter how similar it is to HFA, there are certain differences that should also be reflected in the diagnostic criteria).


Oh, okay. I'm not entirely sure of the differences between high functioning autism and aspergers. That is interesting.

Phonic wrote:
You can't get anything more reasurring off of us then your psychologist telling you it's a possibility, which it obviously is.

Your childhood behavior in particular is what I've noted, as a teen and as an adult I don't see anything that strongly stands out as specifically AS - save being clumsy.


Sorry. I just get worried and I want opinions to make sure I'm not biased towards it or anything. I saw a counsellor and a therapist and neither of them thought I could have it. They thought everything was to do with anxiety. Though, I don't trust the therapist's opinion because she asked me questions and kept misinterpreting my answers, even though I constantly corrected her. And I think the counsellor had very little knowledge of it, because he said the treatment of anxiety is exactly the same as aspergers.

I'm not sure how being clumsy would stand out.

Thank you.



Phonic
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28 Jan 2012, 8:07 pm

Hamburglertime wrote:

Sorry. I just get worried and I want opinions to make sure I'm not biased towards it or anything. I saw a counsellor and a therapist and neither of them thought I could have it. They thought everything was to do with anxiety. Though, I don't trust the therapist's opinion because she asked me questions and kept misinterpreting my answers, even though I constantly corrected her. And I think the counsellor had very little knowledge of it, because he said the treatment of anxiety is exactly the same as aspergers.

I'm not sure how being clumsy would stand out.

Thank you.


Both these peoples opinions are worth nothing, the latter is a fool and the former sounds manipulative and sounds quite a lot like my form psychiatrist.

Being clumsy is rather common in AS, as is walking on your toes. Clinical clumsiness is known as dyspraxia. Autistics are also more likely to have dyslexia and dyscalcula,

Quote:
Oh, okay. I'm not entirely sure of the differences between high functioning autism and aspergers. That is interesting.


there is no consistent difference, which is why the change in the DSM to one single unifying disorder is a good step.


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28 Jan 2012, 9:17 pm

Hamburglertime wrote:
CrazyCatLord wrote:
This test is only for Asperger's. Autistic children (other than aspies) usually start to speak late, or not at all in case of severe autism. It might be that you are a high-functioning autist instead of an aspie.

(Btw, this is why I'm against removing AS from the DSM. No matter how similar it is to HFA, there are certain differences that should also be reflected in the diagnostic criteria).


Oh, okay. I'm not entirely sure of the differences between high functioning autism and aspergers. That is interesting.


The differences are:

HFA: Delay in language development
AS: No significant delay, often early language development and unusually advanced vocabulary ("little professor syndrome")

HFA: Even distribution of verbal and non-verbal skills
AS: Higher verbal skills, less non-verbal skills

HFA: No strong desire to interact with peers, more self-sufficient
AS: Desire for social acceptance, but trouble establishing social relationships. Social anxiety more common



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28 Jan 2012, 10:32 pm

CrazyCatLord wrote:
Hamburglertime wrote:
CrazyCatLord wrote:
This test is only for Asperger's. Autistic children (other than aspies) usually start to speak late, or not at all in case of severe autism. It might be that you are a high-functioning autist instead of an aspie.

(Btw, this is why I'm against removing AS from the DSM. No matter how similar it is to HFA, there are certain differences that should also be reflected in the diagnostic criteria).


Oh, okay. I'm not entirely sure of the differences between high functioning autism and aspergers. That is interesting.


The differences are:

HFA: Delay in language development
AS: No significant delay, often early language development and unusually advanced vocabulary ("little professor syndrome")

HFA: Even distribution of verbal and non-verbal skills
AS: Higher verbal skills, less non-verbal skills

HFA: No strong desire to interact with peers, more self-sufficient
AS: Desire for social acceptance, but trouble establishing social relationships. Social anxiety more common


So what do you make of me?

-I had no delay in language development. I started speaking slightly early, but not very early.
-I my VIQ and PIQ are very close to each other. My weakest and strongest sections are in the same of those two groups, and my second weakest and second strongest are in the other. Overall averages are incredibly close to each other (based on the IQ test I took)
-In other manners, people would also describe me to have an even distribution of verbal and non-verbal scores.
-I don't have a strong desire to interact with peers as a whole. I want two people I can trust, but don't have any interest in overall social acceptance. In fact I don't understand at all why people would care about social acceptance. (By two people I can trust, I mean I want my boyfriend, and one other friend, so that I don't burden him with taking care of me constantly when I need help)


It's not nearly that clear cut at all.



Hamburglertime
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29 Jan 2012, 10:54 pm

I edited it a bit, if anyone still wanted to generate an informed opinion.

I don't have enough information regarding the differences between HFA and aspergers, so I think I will stay neutral on the matter. I prefer to do research on it, instead of just relying on other people. Thank you for the information you gave, though. I didn't think there was a difference in the first place, so at least now I can research it properly.