What do I do now? ... Help please ...

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First of all, I'll like to say hello I'm new here

Well, the story goes as follows. When I was younger my mum suspected I had Attention Defect Disorder but failed to do anything about it. I'm 16 now and she recently told me that she thinks I may be slightly autistic. so after some research I stumbled upon Aspergers and found that I fit MOST of the criteria. I don't know if I've got Aspergers but I really think I have something similar, somebody recently suggested Dyspraxia. .

So after some extensive thinking I decided to approach my Psychology teacher to see if he knew anything, he didn't know much about the subject but suggested I see my doctor ... So I told my mum and she disagrees. She's won't let me see the doctor because apparently I'm 'perfectly fine'. This makes no sense seeing as she suggested that I may have a developmental disorder in the first place. She's always complaining about how I'm not like other kids my age and how 'weird' I am, I've always knew I was different because of the alienation I felt from not being able to make friends or fit in . . I don't understand, people go to the doctor for their physiological health, go to the dentist for their dental health but as soon as you approach a doctor for your mental health it's seen as a bad thing . . .

Can anyone relate to this reaction from other people?
And any ideas of what I could do next to get help?

Thank you in advance

- Sharon.

Definetly check it out with a healthcare professional.

Asperger's, adhd, or dyspraxia, are possiblities.

In the USA a thorough true diagnosis for each of those things is expensive, and quite invoved, but worth doing.

Better to do it when your young then to wait till you're middle aged ( i finnally got dxd a couple years ago- aspergers wasnt even on the radar screen of anyone- even shrinks most of my life).

They give you battaries of aptitude tests and interview you, and interview your parents and siblings about you.

You learn alot about your aptitudes and your weakness even if your not diagnosed with anything. Which can be quite useful and interesting.

Sounds your mom is in denial or something. Like you said it was her idea that you are other than normal, but then she opposed the idea of having you checked out.

Not sure of the exact next step for you if you cant convince your parents.

Thanks for the reply

Well, me and my mum just had a MASSIVE argument. She keeps saying "You want something to be wrong with you!" ... And I don't know what's so "wrong" about Aspergers etc, it's just personality as far as I'm concerned. She also said "everyone has a little bit of Autism in them" (which is news to me) ... and that I'm "playing the victim" ... Now I feel like I'm being irrational.

And apparently it's unhealthy to have the need to see a doctor because of your head, I don't know if it's a British thing but it's definitely not acceptable to talk about your feelings in this way. It's definitely not socially acceptable to ask for help. I'm gonna try and find someone at College to talk to, there has to be someone! ... Once I pluck up enough courage to do so.

Sorry for ranting, I'm just so angry at the moment! D:

Thanks again.

- Sharon.

Your mum has her own motives. You may have to go behind her back. See if you can get referred by a doctor to someone relevant. Or just keep researching and work it out for yourself.

Well you're mom's wrong...kinda reminds me of my mom, except now she's backed of and has actually acknowledged there might be something quite different about me. I still don't have an official diagnoses though, but yeah my mom mostly and kind my dad(though he was a bit more understanding) tried to just say there was nothing wrong with me, and not to try and find excuses and such...when it was more like I actually did struggle with a lot of things people just normally do and I would try my harderst only to fail so yeah I wanted to know why that was but the only explanation anyone gave me was 'you're not trying hard enough.' 'you're just making excuses', 'you're lazy, spoiled ect.

So I know how frustrating it is when even your family refuses to even try to understand your side of it. Also if you're in college aren't you old enough to deal with these things on your own? If so you're mom has no say in whether you talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist about this. So I would say don't listen to her and go for it.

I agree I should have my own mind but I'm still 16 and count as a kid!

And I would go behind my Mum's back but the last time someone griefs,to talk to me about my feelings she went absolutely crazy.

Im really scared she might find out. I need to have a long think about it first.

By the way, thanks guys I dont feel so alone now

Keep reading stuff here, you should be able to work out how much applies to you. If you have Aspergers you would have had many weird experiences that didn't make sense until you read about them here.

I have never tried to get an audience with a mental health professional. When I was young I didn't have to try. My mother saw that something was definitely wrong with me, and she made the appointments herself. Unfortunately, Asperger's Syndrome was an unknown condition in the USA until after I graduated from college, or I might have gotten some help for my condition. But I digress. I do have an idea for you based on my experiences, even though I have never tried this myself.

If you are really desperate to see a psychologist about your issues, and you are willing to do almost anything to obtain it, you may want to intentionally start up some behaviors your mum can't ignore. Start pretending to be inattentive at school (pay attention, of course), pretending not to do your homework (do it so you learn, but then put it in a safe place and don't turn it in), and other things your school will notice. Change your behavior at home, and use this new behavior consistently. If you used to keep your bedroom spotless, for example, start leaving clothes lying around, leave snack wrappers on the floor, and other things that are not typical for you. Make sure your family and friends can see this change in you, but pretend not to notice your intentional changes.

From what you have told us about your mum, this probably won't work by itself, which will force you into even stranger behavior that people will notice. Pretend to be nervous about even the smallest change in your routine. Introduce an "invisible friend" into your life, and have your new "friend" play an increasingly prominent role. Pretend to talk to people who aren't there. Begin showing increasingly infantile behavior, like crying when you don't get your way. Stop bathing for days at a time. Start wetting your bed. Do all of these things without seeming bothered by this new behavior, like you have been doing it for years.

At first your mum may decide you are doing these things on purpose, and may even punish you for it. But you must continue as though being punished isn't doing any good. In fact, you may decide to intensify the new behavior the more you are punished. Eventually someone (if not many someones) will notice the changes, and will encourage your mum to do something about it. Above all, though, you must not let on that you want to see someone about your new persona. This is your new normal behavior. Once you get in to see the psychologist, you can then explain what you have been doing, and why.

Again, do this only if you feel you have no choice. Good luck. - LJS