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SomethingWitty
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06 Feb 2012, 4:51 pm

Before you dismiss me as a whiny brat, hear me out...

Whenever I look at my dad all I see is ASPERGERS. He does the same thing day in day out. He works for most of the day and then comes home and watches the Simpsons every day without fail. He knows our relationship is tenuous but all he does is try to throw money at the problem. He always says the strangest things and talks like ned flanders, like calling dinner 'dinnerino' (probably due to his Simpsons obsession). He doesn't like socialising either and despite all this he STILL refuses to believe he has aspergers.
I know I sound resentful and its probably my problem not his but I can't help but feel incredibly hateful about him giving me this condition.

Sorry guys, rant over.



Cio
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06 Feb 2012, 5:33 pm

Upside: You can see the pattern of his behaviour and recognize the underlying cause. It's less likely you would as NT. It's almost as if he gave you a superpower!
Downside: By calling it a problem you take the magic out of it :(

If this wasn't serious enough, please ignore me. My dad died and.... I kind of like that he left me something I will be able to use for the rest of my life, even if it's also a burden. It's not like he left any money, so it's all I have of him. That, and a really ugly tie.



fleurdelily
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06 Feb 2012, 5:44 pm

yes, I dislike my dads >plural<. Mr. Biological has aspie traits, but his single worst trait seems to be an allergy to pregnant women. He got my 19 y/o mother pregnant, when he was 29 and then married someone else 1 month before I was born--someone who told him she couldn't get pregnant. She did though, 2 years later. My 19 y/o mother gave me away for adoption.

The first dad who adopted me was a far gone violent alcoholic. He didn't last 5 years before he blew his brains out.

The second dad who adopted me, was a step-dad first, but when he realized that I was getting $$ from Social Security after the death of adoptive-dad-number-one, and I was 7 years old, so that money would be comming in for a long time, he decided to adopt me. Worked out good for him, what with his government job, the extra income was nice enough for him to buy rental properties and similar investments, not to mention the additional tax deduction. When he divorced the adoptive"mother" he didn't even have to pay child support, he received it instead, when I went to go live with him. At least he wasn't a violent alcoholic. Just a sarcastic, arrogant little {expletive}


um, yeah. So, to answer the question, I dislike all 3 of my dads. thank you for allowing me to vent a little bit.... and I'm sorry your Dad sometimes gets on your nerves. I can definitly see how an Aspie would do that.


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06 Feb 2012, 5:59 pm

I loved my parents, both of them. I can't imagine better parents, except that my mom might have been a tad overprotective. Don't even know where I got the Asperger's, though both of them had a few traits, and several members of my mom's family (I wasn't close enough to anyone who was left of my dad's family to notice them.)


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06 Feb 2012, 8:20 pm

SomethingWitty wrote:
Before you dismiss me as a whiny brat, hear me out...

Whenever I look at my dad all I see is ASPERGERS. He does the same thing day in day out. He works for most of the day and then comes home and watches the Simpsons every day without fail. He knows our relationship is tenuous but all he does is try to throw money at the problem. He always says the strangest things and talks like ned flanders, like calling dinner 'dinnerino' (probably due to his Simpsons obsession). He doesn't like socialising either and despite all this he STILL refuses to believe he has aspergers.
I know I sound resentful and its probably my problem not his but I can't help but feel incredibly hateful about him giving me this condition.

Sorry guys, rant over.


I don't see the issue.



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06 Feb 2012, 9:04 pm

Actually i cannot help but love my dad...and maybe I shouldn't but who am I to judge.


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06 Feb 2012, 9:11 pm

"'Let's talk about your father, Daniel.'" So sayeth the psychic.

"'Let us not.'" Speaketh Daniel.

(Daniel has daddy issues.)



Beef_n00dles
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06 Feb 2012, 9:22 pm

My dad gets on my nerves sometimes, seems like he will never change, hasn't since the time I was old enough to notice. The great thing is he never gets very angry, he's pretty laid back. But he complains so much, and he only really see's the negative side of everything. He is never happy with anything it seems, and whines a lot. My mother is an optimist and she puts a lot of effort into cooking dinner only to have him cry about something not being made right, or the way he wants it. My dad can't take criticism at all though, so he's kind of a big hypocrite. Never tries anything new, and he always has an excuse, like he doesn't need to try it because it looks disgusting. He also makes all these rules, like only certain foods should go together, he thinks that there is a "right" way to do everything, and all other ways are wrong. When he wants to ask me to get something done, he will ask it in the most negative way possible, like if he wants me to shovel the side walk he will tell me I don't know how to shovel and I should learn. I don't like to be in the same room with him, because most of what he says wil bring me down. If he knew he'd have a fit, because he's overly sensitive emotionally, and won't let things go. But he is a family type guy, so it is all okay in the end.



Last edited by Beef_n00dles on 06 Feb 2012, 9:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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06 Feb 2012, 9:30 pm

It's alright, not everyone's dad can be as awesome as mine. :P


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07 Feb 2012, 12:01 am

I used to put my dad down, mostly internally, on the grounds of him lacking a proper understanding on a lot of things, and being very childish. It took time to dawn on me that I formed an unfair bias about him, I think it's because my mum used to shoulder a lot of blame on me instead of fixing her marriage and she was an unhappy woman, and all I wanted to do is please her. Then I realised in my 20s, that my dad doesn't not or did not do anything maliciously, and my mum played a different game because she's a lot smarter than him, and manipulated me. I can clearly remember that from a young age she told me I don't like him (in an angry tone), and that is not something you should say to a child under any circumstances, in my opinion.


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Surfman
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07 Feb 2012, 1:43 am

My dad struggled in the world, he was an alcoholic.

His unrealised autism caused him much grief. RIP dad



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07 Feb 2012, 1:44 am

^ :cry:


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NarcissusSavage
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07 Feb 2012, 3:21 am

My father is an absentee alcoholic, abusive, and has hurt people I care about. I do not much care for him.


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justalouise
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07 Feb 2012, 3:52 am

My parents have both gotten on my nerves, mostly my mom (who is the one who most definitely has AS, and who actually first suggested the possibility that I might). I find it embarrassing now to think of how often I've taken them for granted. Now that I'm adult and live on my own I can keep to my own boundaries and make sure that I socialize with them in amounts that don't let them under my skin. They're both great people, even though they both have huge issues and have been through a lot of f****d up s**t in life. There's a lot that I could resent one or the other of them for, but at this point I've gone through enough on my own and f****d up enough as a human being that it's really, really hard to resent the people who raised me for also being human, and fallible.

No one has to like their parents, especially if they genuinely treat you like crap--but if it's just because they're annoying, that is not a good reason.



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07 Feb 2012, 3:57 am

I really like my dad. He's one of my favourite people in the whole world, and he would be even if he wasn't my dad.

He's an aspie, but he grew up in a world where such a concept did not exist, and if he had identified as an aspie he would have been shunned. So he has had a very hard life, carefully figuring out how to pass as "normal". He's very good at it. But when he's with me, we both know what he's really like. He's a geek who gets obsessed with things like programming, photography, gardening... he picks up a new special interest every year, it seems like.

He's my hero, and he proves to me that a person like me can be successful. My life is easier than his: if he managed to end up a successful family man, so can I!



Miharu
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07 Feb 2012, 5:29 am

I really look up to my dad.

He's intelligent, logical, strong willed, independent, a leader. No one can take him down easely.
He accomplished alot in his life. I think alot of people look up to him. We're almost the same personality wise, share the same views on alot of things, same sense of humor. He's a good mathematical logical thinker, which made him a good businessman. He has knowledge over alot of things. As a kid my parents and i traveled alot. We went to all kind of places and countries. He likes museums, historical places, sight seeings, loved taking us there and showing us things. I was a very curious kid. I'd always point at things and ask him what things meant, and he'd always explain everything to me, explain history, tell me stories. It was like he knew everything. Every evening he loved to watch the news, documentaries. I'd sit on the couch with him and watch it together, ask him questions. I've learned alot from him.

He's the reason i like being an aspie. Why i see it as a positive thing. I aspire to be like him.

The only things i dislike is that at times he was too serious. He spent most of his time on his work/behind his computer, earning money etc. when i was a child. While my friends dads play games with them, silly things, fun, act immature at times, my dad didn't do those things. He was always logical/serious. He never really showed his emotions or his feelings. I've only seen him cry once in my life, that was at my grandfathers funeral. Seeing him cry was as shock to me. He came across cold, and could be very strict and mean. Still i wouldn't trade him for the world, he is the best dad ever.