A Question of Two Smells

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I posted recently about not having been able to go into the bathroom to shower and stuff in prep for going out one morning, because our house guest had just been in there putting on perfume. I had to turn on the fan and quickly get out, then wait for my girlfriend to return from jogging so that she could open the storm window and let fresh air in. (It would've taken longer for me to mess with getting the two panes of the window open than I could've stood to be in there.) She also wiped down the counter, in case some had been spilled there. She then took her shower first, so the room would have time to air out. It was a small space, enclosed for the purpose of showering in privacy, and I was about to spend a fair amount of time there in order to do all that I needed to do. The smell was so strong that it was in the hall and also beginning to make it's way into our bedroom, to which the bathroom has a second door. When I went into the bathroom at first, and discovered the smell, it was like walking into a wall. So it made sense to me that the smell was too much for me to deal with.

Last night, we took our guest to meet up with some other friends and go out to a BBQ restaurant. At the end of the meal, one of our friends found some packets of wet wipes in the tray on one of the other tables. She passed them out, and we used them so we wouldn't have sticky hands and wouldn't need to all file into the bathroom to wash up. The restaurant was a big, open area, which we were about to leave anyway, and, while I'll admit the wipes had an unpleasant smell, it quickly dissipated. Still, our guest complained of the smell.

Why is synthetic perfume of such strength tolerable to put on oneself in such a small area but the temporary smell of a few little hand wipes in a big open area so intolerable? Is it like not minding a jet flying overhead but being bothered by tapping noises? I know tapping bothers me. Is that how I should understand this?

You got me, I don't understand it.
Its not as bothersome as some natural perfumes to me. That lavender stuff old women used to use? I'm ALLERGIC to it. Seriously, in Florida if someone came next to me with that on I start to sniff, sneeze, & ITCH.

Sincerely,
Matt

What bothers people isn't necessarily just the intensity of the smell, they might enjoy the smell of the perfume beyond it being so intense.

For example - I can't drink straight water (unless I'm rather strongly dehydrated). It tastes disgusting to me. The taste of the impurities, the taste of the soap that cleaned the cup, and all literally makes me gag. However, that's something that most people can't taste, its not a strong input.

I however do particularly like spicy foods. That's a very intense flavor that quite a few people can't deal with because its too strong.

The fact that the soap to clean glasses is a weaker taste than the capsasin, doesn't mean that I am fine with it because I'm fine with capsasin.


(However, that sounds absolutely terrible and nobody would be allowed in my apartment with perfume either on or to be put on)

MindWithoutWalls,

I am like you are with perfume and cologne smells. I can't stand them at all. I get somewhere between mild anger/frustration to light rage depending on the stink and the strength of it. I can't eat when there's a perfume smell (even if I'm starving) and heaven forbid I have to shake hands with someone who is wearing cologne.

I think for some of us who have olfactory super sensitivity, the smell itself does matter - so perhaps smells we personally find pleasing aren't going to drive us up a wall like smells that we can not tolerate. I agree with you on the hand wipes....I don't mind the lemon ones too much, but I don't like the soapy ones. But I wouldn't be surprised if even you and I had some differences of preferences of smells....I do think it's a personal thing.


I'm so bad with perfume/synthetic smells that I have to tape a tissue to my nose sometimes at work. I don't even care that it looks funny or weird. I have to get through the day.


I wish you patience. I could never live with other females who wear perfume.

I have to admit to having stopped wearing the tiny dab of a bay rum cologne I used to like, because the little amount of patchouli in it gave my girlfriend a headache. I haven't worn it in about a decade because of her reaction the first time I put it on, and that's not even synthetic. My mother hated it, too, for the same reason. So, I guess it's true that it's not always the intensity. I always have my girlfriend test sniff anything I want to wear, no matter how faint the smell, before I decide it's okay to regularly put it on. Same thing with any incense. I find some smells soothing, as long as they're not too strong, and they can keep me from being too upset by other things sometimes. But I don't allow anything that would be upsetting to her. For her part, she doesn't usually put on anything anyway, but she does sometimes like a little essential oil in one of those stone dishes that heat with a candle. She likes the plum oil I bought her, and it's very mellow, so I find it okay in the house.

Yup, we sure are all different!

I have such a hatred of spray scents that I believe people shouldn't be allowed to spray deodorant on themselves in public changing rooms. If they want to use deodorant, it should be a stick or roll-on or a salt crystal (which I use and it works fine). Those don't interfere with the breathing of the other users. It's not helped by the fact that I'm actually allergic to a preservative that they put in some perfumes, so I get into a panic when I hear or smell anything coming from a nearby cubicle. I have thought about complaining to my local gym, but I don't think it would get me anywhere, as it's not illegal.

Perfumes don't usually bother me unless the person has on too much. Some incense bothers me if it's of a floral variety and very "loud". The one thing I cannot stand the smell of is dog or cat pee. When we had carpet and the dogs had gone on it, even after it was cleaned up and steam cleaned, I could still smell it. Others couldn't but it was very strong to me. We have wood floors now though, and when they have an accident, it's easy to clean it up. Cat pee is the worst for me though. That's why I will not have an inside cat. The cat can come inside for a few minutes only, then it must go back out. I don't want any chance of it peeing on anything. Even something that's been washed after having cat pee on it, still retains the smell of it to me.

Magazines with perfume samples in pages are horrible. So are perfume samples being shoved in your face by salespersons at the store. Perfume smells are just really nasty. Trash smells are less bothersome than perfume smells. Perfume smells seem to stick around in my nose even after I have escaped the perfume area. Trash smells don't seem to do that.

There are perfumes and perfumes. Real perfume is strongly concentrated whereas an eau de toilette has much less of the smelly stuff in and evaporates fast.

I like my eau de toilette (of course) but I put it on at home and by the time I get to the office it's barely noticeable. I've had restaurant meals ruined by people (well, women) at the next table wearing an overpowering perfume -it seriously interferes with my enjoyment of food.

Of course I hate it when people actually spray stuff on themselves or just around them IN the office. Likewise air fresheners, absolutely disgusting.

I detest hand wipes equally strongly, never accept them and want to shoot every single person who uses them on aircrafts.

The worst thing about handwipes (and scented soaps) is if you eat something afterwards and as your hand puts the food in your mouth you taste the food and smell the soap scent. I find that gross and only use unscented soap and body lotion and hand creams.

Finally, deodorants are useless but I use an anti-perspirant and frankly wish more people would. However "natural" reeking of sweat/BO may be it is very offputting in the office and on the train.

So a pretty mixed picture all round!

I personally don't always believe it when people literally bathed in perfume declare that they can't tolerate the smell of soap, shampoo, wet wipes, etc. But then everyone has smells and tastes they strongly dislike. Question is, how they can smell them when they are reeking of something else? Can't imagine why would anyone spend lots of money on a vial full of smelly stuff but apparently some people and some dogs have one thing in common. And to think that I try not to get that close to people so that I could smell them, therefore in order to be able to smell the perfume they are wearing it means that they have put on several times more than needed.
I feel like I've been hit over the head with something heavy when I smell any perfume in lifts, lobbies, etc. I give perfume shops a really wide berth, too. I am much more sensitive to tactile than to olfactory overload, so I don't use wet wipes if I can avoid it, as it makes my hands feel sticky and more dirty than they actually were. Then there are some spices and some foods, like melons, for example. The slightest whiff of cinnamon would make me leave the room and not come back for a long time.
Threaten me with an aromatic candle or a burner or mention the word 'aromatherapy', and I won't ever talk to you again. I think I can only tolerate vanilla in larger quantities, but I don't dare to try.

Our house guest has been using the same blanket for the past week and a half, and it smells of body odor, perfume, coffee, and alcohol. (At least she doesn't smoke anymore.) I smell it every time I fold the blanket in the morning, which I do to keep it from taking up space on the couch where she sits all day. She's in bed until afternoon every day, which means I have the rest of the house to myself and can sit on the couch until then.

This evening, I came back from walking the dog to discover she's using the other blanket - the one that didn't smell, which I was using when I sat on the couch. Now it's going to smell, too.

It would be nice if she were consistent with which blanked she used, so that I didn't have to worry I wouldn't be able to use the one I had been without washing it first. Guess I'll have to bring down another and take it back up with me whenever I'm going to be upstairs, so that I can be sure it'll be okay when I need it.

Our guest goes back to visit other friends on Saturday. Then I can wash everything and be done with it.

100% Yes.
I hate when the rest of my mail gets stinky from advertisements.

And I would also rather smell trash than perfume too...*lol* Why do those perfume smells linger? Even opening windows doesn't make it go away. We had a house guest like 6 months ago who I can still smell. I think it was his spray deodorant because we have a "no cologne" policy in our house.


I dread going to the department stores where there's a perfumery area. I used to run and duck so I didn't get sprayed by the store associates. Thankfully they no longer can spray innocent people just trying to get through a store. I still have to hold my nose in that area though.


You all reminded me, I have an almost full bottle of Tide laundry detergent that we accidentally bought in the wrong smell that I have to give away.


MindWithoutWalls - same with me, there are some smells that I find soothing as well....even some incense too (but I'm super picky about it), .... nothing too powerful.

The guest complained but it didn't sound like she was overwhelmed, is that right?

I cannot stand sweet smells. I get anything from headaches to itchiness to breathing problems.
Wet wipes to me still smell but it's kind of dull compared to perfumes.

Maybe it's like the difference between spray deodorant and roll on. I spray pretty close to my skin but people still complain of the smell. Maybe it's the molecules in the air that never made it to the skin.

My diagnosis: she didn't like the smell but was not overcome by it. Her complaining just made you relate it to your own experience.
Although I wasn't there and didn't smell the moist towelette.

I think you're right, pensieve. Maybe part of the reason I got uptight is because every time someone else complains about anything, she goes through this routine about how sympathy appears between s**t and syphilis in the dictionary. <snark> It's actually between symmetry and symphony in mine. Maybe hers has fewer words. So there. </snark> It seems like she's kidding with the people who are complaining, but I find it irritating to hear her do that over and over. So, I guess I wasn't feeling very sympathetic about her complaint just then. But I don't think I could've imitated her routine. My irritation might've been too obvious, and then I think my girlfriend would've been mad at me.

I think our guest and I have had a bit too much togetherness, as I'd indicated in my other thread. At this point, I'm spending a lot of time avoiding her, just trying to get to the weekend. Every time I think I've made my peace with her being here or found a way to enjoy her company again, something else comes up. I know it's because the visit has gotten too long for me and not that everything she does is such a big deal. Besides, I keep reminding myself that she's my friend, too. I'd probably get along with her just fine again if we saw her more regularly but didn't have her over for such extended periods. It's simply not possible to do it that way, given that she comes in from outside the country. She visits once or twice a year, for a couple of months at a time, staying at one or two different friends' houses while she's here. If she ever does move here, as she's talked about wanting to do, I think things will be fine.

I appreciate the chance to rant a bit, and I hope it hasn't been too offensive to anyone.

I sympathize, I do hate when people do this. Other people's pillows, blankets, towels, even bathrobes, for God's sake, they use them all in no particular order, without thinking that these are actually not theirs.
I get in a state of real panic trying to decide what is safe to use and what is not, and usually end up keeping my own things under lock and key.

Severus, years ago, when I lived alone in my own apartment, I had to keep my bath towel tucked away so a friend wouldn't use it instead of the hand towel when she was done washing her hands after using the bathroom. The hand towel was in plain sight, but she always claimed not to see it when she needed it. I knew I'd keep forgetting to hide my bath towel when she came over, because it wouldn't immediately be on my mind. So, I kept it out of sight all the time, even though she wasn't over all the time. I was very frustrated because of that sort of thing. It was the type of thing that made it challenging to want to have anyone visit me.

I do occasionally like to have company over, but it's much easier to be someone else's guest and then figure out their rules so I know how things are done. I'm much more used to trying not to annoy people than trying not to be annoyed by them. Besides, I enjoy the compliments I sometimes get for being a good guest. I suppose anybody can feel a little bothered by things guests do and, therefore, appreciative of someone who makes an effort to be polite and unobtrusive.