Why should I not share my finances?

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Well my sister Erica mention a NYC trip and since I wanted to go I said I wanted to save up and had X amount of money etc. (and went into detail on my savings plan). She said I should just tell her "I plan to save money" vs. detailing my savings plan out to her. Why is this? Is this HER or do people in general don't like it when you mention your finances I assume. She's family it's not like I'm telling strangers. What do you guys think the reason is?? Thanks!

Detailing one's finances seems to be a social faux pas among the general NT community. It's sorta like discussing your monthly cycle with anyone other than your OB/GYN.

Is your sister in Debt? The if you got the money spend it? And by details you mean the saving plan you have & what it offers, example:- what the interest is yada yada?

You don't really need to tell someone your savings plan. She was just telling you that all you had to say is you were saving up the money. She might not like technical details? as it bores her.

Also on the side never tell anyone it, or you will find them asking for money to lend off of you allot.

I think it's more of a "don't go on and on and on about something I'm not interested in" thing than a "don't talk about this subject" thing. If it were some random person, maybe you shouldn't talk about it, but since it's your sister I think she was just getting bored and didn't want you to keep going on about that kind of thing. Maybe she just had trouble explaining it or didn't think it needed to be explained...

As Fnord said, detailing one's finances is generally not done. Occasionally, it is acceptable; for example, when the teacher I am a teacher aide for was talking about salaries for teachers, and what one should do to ensure the highest pay grade possible, she gave me examples of what she did, which included telling me how much she makes.

In my opinion you were actually in the right; I would assume it OK to talk about finances with family - I certainly do often, as do my mom and sister, who are both NTs.

That makes since. She has complained of it before. I guess I think differently I'd encourage save up since the trip might cost Y amount make sure you have saved enough etc. something nice like that as a response.

I think that you're doing a good thing by describing your finances to your sister. I like to share my finances with the people that I know.

I agree with you....although you may (or may not) be surprised what some NT females share with each other. I work in an office that is 90% female, and I've been unfortunate enough to hear that chatter about who did what with who the night before. One would think the subject of finances, (especially a savings plan) is a little less private than what people do behind closed doors, but apparently not.



zeldapsychology,
I think, if you have a close relationship with your sister, it sounds to me like she either said that to you because she might be trying to let you know not to share that information and detail with other people, or maybe she wasn't concerned about the details (?)
Either way, I hope you get to visit NYC and have a fun time there.

Every office job I've ever worked that involved females inevitably led to conversations about monthly cycles, menopause for the older women, and their children/grandchildren stories, none of which were subjects I could ever care to tolerate listening to.




Does your sister regularly try to give you hints and tips on talking in general? This might have just been another example. It may not necessarily be that she was trying to give you a hard and fast rule to follow in the future as much as she was telling you of another option you could have taken during that particular conversation. It's also possible that just at that time she was only expecting a quick response from you, but you didn't grasp that cue, so she lost patience and was doing more of a griping at you thing rather than a helpful hint thing. Without having been there to hear her and see how she acted (what social cues she gave off) and hearing how the conversation played out, there's a couple of different ways that what she stated could be interpreted via your write up of her words alone. If she's understanding enough, I'd ask her to clarify why she suggested the succinct sentence over a detailed description in that particular moment. Don't be afraid to ask someone right then, "What do you mean?" when they correct you like that, but you are unsure of why they are suggesting to do one thing over another.

For most people, it's not that interesting to learn about a family member's or a friend's saving plans in detail when you didn't ask for it and when the amount of details surpasses those of common small talk.

If you talk about your net worth or annual income, some folks might think you're bragging about it.

Among precious metal stackers (gold bugs), the amount of your gold and silver holdings is usually a closely guarded secret (especially if you distrust savings deposit boxes, and try to be clever and hide the stuff somewhere).

Along the lines of the above post, you never know if someone you tell will end up telling someone else. There are a lot of people out there who would love to know about a "stash" of metals or cash in your possession, or would try to devise a way to take advantage of you. I had someone that I thought was a friend try to do this. Now I'm much more careful about who knows how much money I have or have not rat-holed.

Discussion of your savings is best limited to someone you absolutely trust (e.g. a faithful partner or trusted family member), or nobody at all.

I don't think this is the kind of savings that the OP was talking about, but I think it's sound advice anyway.

Haha. Now I know why all my NT friends never say anything when I talk about my finances. I never saw this as an Aspie trait.

Oh but I frequently hear girls talk about their monthly cycle and that their period was one day late and what not. I'm always like whythefkareyoutalkingaboutthat O.o