Need some help from aspies and non aspies alike?

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Well, I'm a virgin in my 20s. I met a 30 something year old woman, she knows about me being a virgin and aspergers. She finds me very attractive and says being a virgin is a turn on to her. I am so nervous its unbelievable, Ive been wanting to get laid since i was 10 years old. I am going to fly to see her and we will get a hotel and hang out for a few nights. How do I make things go smoothly, how do I stop thinking about how I will be in bed(I am well endowed, but no experience). Any way, I need some advice on this from aspies who lost their virginity, I am more worried about being intimiate for the first time, and Im hoping this will make me confident and more understanding of women when I finally lose my V Card.. Have serious stress... What do I do after sex? How do I act while eating dinner with her? I still have about four days to wait


I think I will be a changed man when I get back..

<--- Still a virgin.

If she is older and she says its a turn on for her that you are a virgin then I reckon she will want to take control. Just let her take the lead and try not to be nervous. Be cool and breath slowly. Try to think about pleasing her when you are in bed and not just pleasing yourself.

At dinner you should just be yourself and talk about the stuff you like, but listen to her and try to think of something to say about the things she says.

To be safe pack some condoms.

Let her lead the way. Do not believe in stereotypes (from porn), there are none. If you climax too soon go back to foreplay and you will soon be up for it again. When you go to dinner ask her questions and talk about what you would like to do when you get back back to the hotel room. That's assuming you are not looking for a relationship, if you are then should talk about other life stuff too. Enjoy.

Thanks guys... I guess I just need to try to stop the obsessive thoughts about worst case scenario.

Just be yourself. And if possible, try to put all the stress and nervousness out of your mind. Just think to yourself "this is going to be a positive and enjoyable experience"
I was nervous as hell my first time, but it really boosted my confidence afterward.

Try the best case scenario instead.

Okay, so here are my tips. I am certain you know all of these already, but just a reminder...

First and foremost, be safe. That means
1) If this is a pure internet aquaintance, have some sort of buddy system or check-in system in place, that knows where you are and can take action if worst case scenario happens. Creeps and weirdos are not only men hunting for women.
2) Be prepared. Bring condoms.
3) Also bring and dams in case you are planning to or are asked to perform oral sex.
4) Bring latex and/or vinyl gloves, in case your lady wants you to play with her rear door.

Secondly, hygene.
1) Make sure you brush, flush and use mouthwash before meeting her. Bring some gum to refresh your mouth if needed, also helps if you get really dry mouth when nervous.
2) The usual, shower, deodorant, brush hair, wear presentable clothes and clean underwear. (Don't ask why I put this on the list.... )
3) Have your nails trimmed and clean. Both on the hands and the feet.

Third, when it comes to romance....
This lady will probably want to take charge, so just relax and go with the flow. However, if at any time you don't feel comfortable, let her know! She must respect your wishes and your body, and she can't do that unless you tell her if something doesn't sit right with you.
As for some small stuff... Take off your shoes and socks while shedding your clothes. The general opinion of women is that having sex with a man in socks is a little bit of a turn-off. (Though there are probably some who find it attractive...)
If you are worried about premature ejaculation, sometimes it helps if you 'give yourself a hand' in advance.

And about the social bit. Do you know each other well? I mean do you know each other well enough to discuss politics or religion or current events, do you have any common interest, or are you stuck talking about the weather and the curtains? If you are at all nervous about these things, prepare a little by making a little list of things that you can bring up as topics for discussion. Make sure you ask questions and listen to her responses. And make your own responses as well.

Above all, don't expect this to transform you from a 'mouse to a lion', because most likely it won't. You will have a good time, get to have sex with a nice woman, and that's about it. Most of the people I have communicated with about their first time (granted, only about 20 ppl, most of them male) say that afterwards, it was no big deal, and they could not for the life of them understand why they put so much emphasis on it. It was nice, it felt good, but it was not a life-altering event.

Oh, and good luck!

Also, my doc has prescribed beta blockers, should I take some while on the plane to calm myself?

Good advice from Ember Eyes, safe sex is good, socks are bad, try to avoid politics and religion for discussion.

Don't give out too much personal information or feel that you are obliged to pay for a disproportionate share of costs.

Don't ever treat women as sex objects unless they specifically ask you to do that in a role play scenario.

It should be about fun for both of you, as above. Good luck, enjoy.

Mike, let me disagree with the others and say you need to take the lead. Having been there and done that, if you wish, you are welcome to PM me and I will describe in very general terms what you need to do. Believe it or not, there is a procedure that needs to be followed here too.

I think just make sure that this is someone you want to be with; all the rest is personal preference.
You don't want to give your V card away to someone just because they have a fetish for virgins; so make sure she actually loves you and wants to be with you, and is not after another 'notch on her belt'
Sex is a wonderful thing, but you only get to give your virginity away once, you don't want to hook up with someone else later who you may wish was your first.
Assuming she does love you, and that it's more than a fetish, then I'd say be yourself - if she's attracted to you and wants to sleep with you then she already wants you as you are, so there is no point doing anything different or trying to be something you aren't.
By all means let her take the lead, and by all means practice safe sex.
You can take the lead later if you are comfortable with that, and if she wants you to.
Just make sure you don't confuse lust with love; if she really loves you then you'll be doing more than having sex together, and if you enjoy each others' company, communicate effectively and genuinely care for each other then it could be perfectly happy long term relationship, where you just happened to be a virgin when you met.
Make the most of what you have, and be grateful every day for having it.