Tantrums at 30.... ;(

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I was doing a report for my functional analysis class, had to do a 2 page paper on the movie, Nanny McPhee. The DVD was defective, so I chucked it across the room, slammed the side of the computer with my right hand, and then I thought the monitor went out totally. Boom, I go to the floor, screaming and crying. I also have a 100 point presentation to make, and need the computer to work for me to do the project. And I have had a history of smacking the side of the monitor with my right hand with so much force during sporting events, that one of the sides is a little loose now. Why, why did I have to have these at 30, and in my apartment? I thought I was so far past this....*sighs* I feel like an idiot for doing this. Please help. Autism isn't an excuse for the meltdowns, but it is a reason for it.

I don't have answers for you. But i can ensure you that you are not alone. I am 42 and still have temper tantrums.

I lost a dream occupation & a couple of friends because of one of my "Meltdowns".
At that age, too...
You are not alone.

Sincerely,
Matthew

I am in my early 50s, and don't handle it well when my browser hangs, which it does frequently. I tend to whack the tower, and bang on the keys, in a futile, and infantile effort to get the thing to work. ARGH!

I have had meltdowns over printers. I have damaged or nearly destroyed several as they are very finicky. The paper sometimes get stuck inside or the ink runs dry sooner than expected.

Internet advertising gets to me sometimes too, especially those windows that pop up inside of your browser and blast some stupid video in your face without your consent. I shouldn't be having meltdowns at 30, but trust me, I do. Most of them are minor, but now and then I'll have a bad one.

My (basically perhaps some OCD) NT father has tantrums at 70. It's more common and "normal" than you think.

I have meltdowns and I'm also in my 30's. I took a week off from work. I have done good so far and feel clam. Though with another change at work well more then one I don't know how it will go for me.

My emtions are about to go up and down a lot.

I am coming closer to stomping my workphone (sort of a instore "Cellular" thing) to plastic splinters. My co-workers just laugh at my disgust with the thing(s) but they are truly annoying & are giving me fits. Plus, I was not there when the rest of my co-workers got trained on the things.
At 50 (today..ARRRGGGGGGGHHHH. Its the downward slope of the Hill!)I feel like throwing it against a wall, then stomping up & down on it.

Matt

The only tantrums I have are going into my room, hopping on my bed and hugging my Twilight Sparkle plushie while staring out the window at the trees.

I'm 29 and still get irrational and upset like that almost every other day, but usually its after a build up for a bit through out the day.

I've learned to just take a couple bong hits while its happening and I calm down : )

I tend to not lash out, and if somethings broken I put my effort into fixing it. I do have meltdowns but they stay under control until someone enters my realm, but I've enough sense to avoid people then or I'd break down crying into a ball. Physical aggression and hitting things is somewhat more of anger management. Deep breaths help, but I doubt being autistic has anything to do with it... unless you have a lack of control of anger. Which tends to be why people end up in jail.

I had a lady almost run into me the other day, and I didn't bother moving. She swirved the other direction and then got behind me. Then drove past me honking her horn a bit later ... which made me get angry since it was her fault, so my foot went for the gas.... and I took that deep breath and went for the gas... then another breath, and relaxed.

Just try to think it's never as bad as it could be. At least you haven't hit someone or something (hopefully) and the meltdowns are in private, not having a huge tantrum in public (again, I hope not, for your sake, it's one of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me - and it's been a fair few times now too).

I think I'll still have silly tantrums well into my thirties and for a long time afterwards. I remember a few months back me and my girlfriend were about to watch Pulp Fiction on video, and I was looking forward to it as I haven't watched it before. We were going to watch it with dinner, and the cassette didn't work ( I only had it on cassette) so I got frantic over it and ended up ripping it from the video player and chucking it on the floor before stamping and jumping on it repeatedly whilst shouting and swearing at the top of my voice, right in front of my girlfriend. She was a bit shocked and said I went too far, but I think she was also sympathetic because she knows all about my problems. I think partly the reason I went so mental was because I have this weird thing that I have to eat food with some form of media to keep me entertained, and I have to match the food to the media. If I don't have some media I feel like it's a wasted opportunity for some reason. Anyway, because I was spending so long trying to get the video to work, our dinner went cold, and again I was really looking forward to the dinner. I had it all planned out to perfection, and the reality didn't match the scenario I had planned in my mind.

Have you tried to get any counselling? I'm getting one assigned to me soon for anxiety aswell as things like this.

Aswell as the video fiasco, I got back from work once and went to get a shower, only to find that the water was running cold, so I chucked the shower head at the tiled wall, shattering the shower head and breaking one of the tiles, and we'd only had the bathroom redone for less than a year, and my mum was really proud of it (aswell as paying for it all) and I felt so bad that I did this. I spent the next hour or so screaming as loud as I possibly could in the foetal position naked and wet and cold. The guilt plagued me for weeks afterwards. I always do this sort of thing such as destroying objects, but it's bever my own stuff. In my hazy mind during a meltdown I see everyone else's property as just "stuff" that is meaningless, but as soon as the red mist settles, I see that I've broken something that means something to someone, and I feel so ashamed and upset. I am so sentimental when it comes to my own stuff, so I never break my own stuff, but I fail to understand when I'm in a black mood that others are sentimental too. So many times I've broken things around the house (doors, walls, garden ornaments, furniture etc etc etc.) and I hate that I do this all the time.

I think I understand where you are coming from. Are there any other stresses in your life at the moment? For me the tantrums have gotten much worse since I started a full-time job, which is just too much for me to keep handling.

Try to pinpoint whatever might be making the tantrums worse or more frequent, and try to explain it to someone who will understand. I know this may not be easy to articulate your feelings, it certainly isn't easy for me anyway, but just try.

So this is what a "meltdown" is? How common are they for people with ASDs?

Interesting, the tantrums have gotten worse for me too, after I moved out and started to live a semi-independent life. It might have something to do with changing environment, not seeing the same people and objects around myself long enough.

To the OP, unresolved problems with sensory overstimulation, building stress, prolonged anxiety, too much workload can cause more frequent meltdowns. Most people simply don't get how autistics are at increased risk due to these effects. It is important to find out what causes them and get a solution. However, according to my experience it's not at all easy, too many times the solution just plainly eludes my mind.

You are not alone. I'm 30 and I still get it, just like you, I thought I had it "defeated" / "controlled" but a few weeks ago it resurfaced, not one but a couple. So I have to re-implement the methods I developed to keep my self back in control (I only found out about AS last week, I thought I was alone or something was wrong with me, so I quietly 'fought' those).

Since it was first time too, I found out that depending on the situation, the environment, and our overall status (by days or even months), these 'attacks' or 'episodes' (what's a better term??) can resurface unexpectedly. Again, I can only say that because I experienced it, and it seems you also experienced the same thing.

Just be prepared. Methods you developed or taught to you, keep them at-hand ready to apply/use. Keep positive. If I get an attack, I fight to keep quiet - or I start browsing to read, to distract myself and calm down. Then I start to think about it, analyze it, and find out there was no reason for what I did, and continue to tell myself to stay in control.

I don't know what else I can give but that's how I learned to handle it… so far, since this is the first I had things that resurfaced, it's working… hopefully continually.

I can remember by dad having tantrums when I was 7, and I have no idea how old *he* was, though I'm the youngest of two children. The point is - if you're down just because you think you're not supposed to have them at 30, then rethink it, because age has nothing to do with it. If the tantrum itself is what upsets you, there are ways to make things better.