Homeless shelters the friendliest environment for an Aspie?

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For personal reasons, I had to stay at the local shelter this week and was amazed at how friendly the people were.....homeless people.

As a female Aspie, I don't attract people as a general rule. Other Aspies, people with disabilities, NTs, you name it, most of those people are turned off. On the rare occasion that I've interacted with other people on the spectrum in person, it hasn't turned into friendship. It could be for a number of reasons.

I'm not staying at the shelter anymore (problem fixed), but when I did, I was amazed at the number of men who hit on me. usually older men. I have curly blond hair, not a particularly attractive face; i'm not that physically attractive, although not necessarily ugly.

I've never been asked out by an Aspie and NTs (who are not homeless) don't generally ask me out.

I was just amazed at my brief stay at the shelter and how kind and friendly people were. There weren't that many women, mostly men.

Now the reason for posting this: Am interested to know the reason. Why is the rest of the world so cold, yet in the shelter so many people are friendly?

WrongPlanet is friendly but i'm talking the offline world. People just aren't that friendly in the real world....closed off. i feel like an outsider all the time.

Not so at the shelter.

Interested in the reason- why do you think this is- I don't mind a cynical explanation either. i've explored several possibilities in my head but still perplexed.

i also explored the good side and thought, well homeless people are just nicer. Maybe they became homeless because they also didn't fit in with the world's BS.

Why was the shelter so friendly compared to the rest of the world?
Are homeless shelters really the friendliest environment for an Aspie?

I think you're probably right. Homeless people in most instances are very likely on the spectrum or have some other mental disability. They are in need and guess that makes them friendlier than usual, as well.

The older men were hitting on you hoping you would be their girlfriend, probably.

It seemed like it, but I couldn't figure out whether it was because they needed a place to stay.

I spent a month at a Salvation Army shelter once. That shelter has a one month limit. After a month you have to leave. The staff were mostly nice but most of the women I had to share sleeping quarters with were not the best company. Most were addicts. One was a manipulative person who could seem nice most of the time on the surface, but every now and then her true nasty side showed through. Her husband was staying on the men's side of the shelter, and he was almost as bad as her, but she was the worst of the two. Because I am an Aspy fool I tried to be nice and help them out with rides, as I had a car, but they saw me as an easy mark and took advantage of me a few times. I don't know why some people like to take advantage of someone who is trying to be nice to them. I felt since we were in the same boat--homeless--we could help one another out, me with giving rides, and they could give me info on places to work, live cheaply, etc. It didn't work out that way. I think I would prefer to live out of my car if I am ever homeless again. Also the wife had a habit of leaving her radio on when the rest of us were trying to sleep, and she would pretend to be sleeping until someone would get up to shut her radio off, and then she wouldn't let anyone shut it down. I myself had to go to the staff one night to tell them about it. I finally got fed up and stopped helping that couple. I found out later from a nicer room mate there that both of these people were addicts. Figures.

Yes, I had a bad experience at a shelter when I was 18 and hard to imagine it could ever be a good experience. I had worked really hard to clean someone's house for a measly $20. and stupidly left my purse in my room for two minutes and when I went back the door was blocked so I couldn't get in and when I did found my money was gone and when I went after them to get it back the guy drew a knife on me so of course I was out of my hard won $20. I don't think I would go to a shelter again. These days I would imagine it's even worse than it was then. I would definitely live out of my car too instead of risk that situation. It's nice to know someone has had a nicer experience though in that kind of situation. I have a lot of compassion for homeless people.

Good point, they could well suspect you are more naive and try to attempt to get a spare quid or two out of you or drag you down to their level of drug addiction or alcohol abuse.

I don't think this describes most homeless people in my area, sure there's a few jerks in every group of people......but I have yet to meet a homeless person who's attempted to do anything like that to me and that includes the ones who do drugs. Most of them have the attitude 'oh you don't want any of the drugs I'm using? ok more for me.' Not 'I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't smoke this joint.'

But maybe you have more bad apples in your area?

I see homeless more as victims of society, people who couldn't make it or fit in as a whole. Sometimes they are desperate and commit crimes. Sometimes they are bad people too who only think of themselves. It's a complicated problem I think with the homeless and very sad too.

If your down on your luck with no friends. food or accomodation, it is helpful. If you have resources, you may be helpful.

A lot of celebrities are camping out now for awareness campaigns. Homeless people may abuse aspies just like other NT groups, though less likely with a truly poor aspie, than a new to the street wealthy person with problems.

Don't be daft. They probably just wanted a roast.

Some of them might be on the spectrum.

I think that maybe when you are in a shelter, usually it's because you and the others are in a all time low and maybe having that in common with others you have a kindred like relationship.

1st of all the shelter has rules. people try to be 'nice' to avoid getting the boot.

2nd SOME of the people will be sympathetic because you are in a similar situation. But shelters are full of people that have mental illnesses ranging from AS to sociopathy to everything in between. What you see isn't always what you're getting.

and last but not least, homeless people have limited opportunity to get laid, especially males. Much of the 'niceness' is because of this. I would advise against screwing anyone at the shelter btw.

I would have thought that it could be potentially dangerous, being female and around mostly down on their look/mentally ill/possibly criminal men.

The guys just wanted to get laid.

It's best to be careful at the shelter. They appear nice but do you really know their true intentions? It's not a good place to go and look for dates. There are probably a few people who are just down on their luck but some of them could be sociopaths. How do you know which is which? You don't want to get unbeknowingly involved with a fugitive running from the law or a serial killer.

I've seen a homeless millionaire sleeping on a trampolene in dirty clothes painted with crosses with a large beard and dirty hands. The guy was a bit crazy, and apparently my aunt wanted his money. But homeless people seem to come in all shades. Albeit your chances of finding a issue is probably significantly increased.

You may want to wonder if your usually inaccessible. I attract mild attention but won't stop to talk or smile back at girls that show interest mostly due to sensory issues. Being in a environment where you are part of a whole may have just made you easily approachable. This happens to me very rarely as I'm rarely in a situation where people can walk up and say hi without seeming like they meant to do it.