Anything that causes this?

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last night i went too a bar for my buddy Russell's 31st birthday. the bar we travelled too was big and very packed out it was like sensory overload for me. whats worse is that when i arrived at the table and saw all of russell's friends (who i have never met before) and they kinda shunned me out and didn't talk too me but talked and were friendly too my friends. my friends were not particurley friendly too me that night either. i did feel angry that they were treating me in that way and too be honest as well i was shocked becuase recently in social situations people are being nice too me my family seem annoyed with me at the moment as well.... its like i go through cycles were my friends/people are accepting and other times they act like they can't stand too be around me.


today i have a hang over and feel very depressed and fustrated after last night events

i figure that maybe i might be doing something too annoy everybody without realising it. besides "breathing" as wavefreak pointed and being weird what other things that us aspies do can annoy NT's?




On a side note i did say too one of my friends who is ginger for a joke in the bar "is your hair going blonde" and his response too me was like he was exsapperated with me.

I'm afraid you may take this the wrong way, but I'm going to say it anyway, because it seems so obvious to me, but it may not to you because of your perspective.

It was your friend's birthday. It was about him, not you. Maybe, without realizing it, you made it too much about yourself.

That would certainly explain the reactions you were getting.

No offense. Just saying that's what it sounds like it could have been.

yeah but still it wasn't about my 'friends' either yet they were still treated well..... maybe cause they made an effort too talk too people or already knew some of his friends?

It helps to be a graceful guest and to go with the flow.

I have this problem and currently going through it. It seems to happen when I am in a crisis. I did not think I was needy or a problem during these times. I just wanted someone to discuss and hypothesize.

Well, that's kind of what I was getting at. It being "about you" kind of comes through in your post. It comes through in this comment as well. The whole post, and this comment is all about you and how you were treated, how you felt overloaded but there's nothing about your friend or how good a time he actually had.

I get that you're hear to talk about your problem, and that does kind of require you to talk about yourself, but seriously, take a good look at how it's ALL about you, not about him at all.

The reason I brought it up is that if that was what you were like at the party, it probably IS why you were treated like that. I'm not saying you mean to be like this. Just trying to offer you a little bit of objective perspective. You wanted to know what you might be doing. I'm telling you what I see from here.

It's the same thing people used to see in ME a long time ago. That wasn't easy for me to accept either, but it was true. I used to have no clue how self centered my behavior appeared to others. I'm NOT self centered, and I doubt you are either, but my own behaviors could make me appear that way without realizing it. That could be the case in your situation too.

I could be wrong. They may just all have been jerks too. Or, it could be a little of both. Hard to say. I wasn't there.

Your question was about what you might have been doing that affected it all. This is my answer, that could be part of the problem.

As with the above posts, there is something "out of flow" jamsey, and I wonder if a friend could explain it in detail for you. And what about your parents chiming in on a query from you?

I've always asked about my awkward moments from relatives, and it helped, but I don't have AS, thus maybe allowing something to be seen that I missed-- either through poor social skills by virtue of my peculiar 'brand' of introversion, and/or slips of cognition.

For example: Hon, how did I come across, or just how do I come across in a social settting? "Well, sometimes you look at me entirely when you are talking to someone, and why do you do that btw?"

But IDK, in reading a poster (above) here, I've got a hunch that it may take more time to gel with AS.

The only thing to do is Keep trying.