Unable to be employed by others - SSDI?

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I've had traumatic experiences with employment - I tend to do well at first - but after several months I get worn out having to focus very intently on things which other people expect of me. It also seems I am given more work based on my strengths, only to let my employer down later, and be fired for social illiteracies or productivity issues. I tend to feel paralyzed by too much stress - everything in my mind shuts down, stops working, gets muddled. So, I tend to get fired from jobs, usually for isolated incidents involving a big social error of some sort. The last time my dismissal involved an interrogation and several accusations of laziness and dishonesty, the experience accosted me and left a huge mark - it still stings to think about 4 years later, because I had thought these people as 'friends.' I never want to go back to that again.

I've been pursuing self-employment ever since - but I have no access to a credit line, so I can't build capital. I'm doing well, but lapsing in product availability - I can't get off the ground. My "safety net" is the people in my life - family, girlfriend, etc. They will support me out of pity when/if I do not succeed. I will "pay them back" later. To them, it's a matter of me finding a job, and then working it off like everyone else. Yet I'm terrified of social scenarios like that, I run from it, by staying busy trying to make money on my own. I don't want to be the resented 'exception to rules' on someone's workforce - and certainly not at some meaningless retail/service job which utilizes only my weakest attributes. I don't want to be fired eventually because of these conditions I can't help, and feel so guilty again. It's all depressing. I should have accomplished more by now. I owe family money and I can't accumulate any savings to repay them. My parents still don't believe I have asperger's and I have used too much of their money at my age. They now think I'm a deadbeat - a money pit - hurt by and disappointed in me. I have to pay them back, and I can't, it's really painful to experience.

I'm seriously contemplating SSDI - not so I can stop working and "give up" but so I can actually contribute something back to the people in my life, and society without being a burden on others around me. I'm tired of working so hard with what little I have, and not getting anywhere at all, and feeling like it's because I'm lazy since that's what people tell me. I'm depressed and guilt-ridden that I haven't been able to get off the ground with what the people around me have provided generously. The ironic part is that if I had SSDI, I have confidence I could work my way off of it - I'm just completely frayed at this point. It's directly because of Asperger's, and my dismal credit score is due to bills related to medical conditions (I have a pacemaker).

I am prideful, though. I don't feel like I am "disabled" enough to consider it. People joke about and disdain "freeloaders" (which part of me feels like) and yet, I feel I am left with few other options given the economy and my conditions... What should I do?

Why can't you do something on your own which doesn't require a lot of (or any) capital ? Aren't there a lot of opportunities to make money online? Why can't you develop one of your strengths into a way to make money, without having to deal with the understandable stresses of a regular full time job within the system?
Don't give up, and rely on a government check the rest of your life. Do whatever it takes to make money no matter how menial it may seem at the time. Cut expenses, save a little money, and you on your way. I make several hundred dollars a year clicking on email advertisements for a few pennies each, as well as taking a few surveys. If I had the luxury of being able to stay home all day, I could make a lot more online, with no skills needed.
Check out Dane Carlson's business opportunites weblog for practical ideas on how to start a small business for little to money down, so you are in control. Also, Steve Gillman has several websites devoted to finding ways to make money besides having a regular job.
Sure, people need to complain and whine every once in a while, and, yes, it is much tougher for younger people today than it was when I was your age. However, there are is always opportuntiy for those who work hard (and smart), and take advantage of what America and some other countries have to offer. Don't fall into the trap of coming here to bemoan your fate. Seize the day, and make the most of who you are ! !!

I think you should apply for it. You can still work while on it. I sure did. But then you get less money from them but when you lose your job again, you will get a full check from them. It be your back up tool.

It is all too easy for one to spout off their opinions on any topic without knowing about the true situation. Everyone does it, of course, so I was speaking in general terms about the issue. Whatever you have to do, just do it,, and I surely wish you the best.
I would still suggest that you check out the Carlson and Gillman webistes, as well as picking up a few hundred a year reading emails and answering short surveys. I can recommend some sites if that is your desire. What about the other ways to make some money online? They are definitely out there.

I'm struggling with it - it takes all my energy to run my company - the advice to partake in menial tasks/surveys is something I am considering, but it's also an investment of critical energy - and I only have so much. I have to use it wisely.

Aside form my health conditions, it's also my total lack of resources that is driving me into the ground financially - as well as I manage things, I can't get off the ground - things get busier, and I'm stuck in 1st gear because I can't invest enough at once to build capital. I have rent to pay, I have food and other expenses, life siphons off all that money I make and I cannot get ahead.

I have been independent for 5 years. I live with a girlfriend, and I don't want to let her down by not contributing my share, and becoming a burden. I can't move back in with my parents either, - I owe them money, too, for helping me out of my short-sale situation last year. They don't believe I have "Asperger's" and think I'm being lazy, difficult, entitled, or some other opinion which I have to avoid.

I will lose everything I have if I can't figure it out, and I'm beginning to feel the paralysis of too much stress. I'm feeling myself shutting down, accepting the collapse, and I want to fight it. I want to able to pay my own way relative to the lives of the people around me.

I consider SSI, but I also doubt I will get approved given my infrequent visits to doctors and psychologists. It's anxiety the whole way through. I have this fear that I deserve to be out on the street - and that's where I'll end up at this rate, and not for lack of attempting to avoid it at all costs...

If you've been employed - even self-employed - within the past seven years you are probably eligible for SSDI, which is generally better than SSI. But you have to seriously prove you can't work, and it seems that SSA is getting stricter in dealing with applications as a lot of people who are leaving the workforce due to the economy are pinning their hopes on SSI or SSDI.

I think I kind of know how you feel...I mean my main issue is not that I absolutely cannot work...I mean any of my friends or close family knows I can do what one would decribe as 'work' its more a matter of not being able to function normally on a job which screws me up. For instance if I start getting too anxious or stressed I need a minute...well you can't always have a minute at a job. Not to mention they don't like it if I can't keep up with the work load and typically I am too 'slow' also I've had the term 'mental' thrown at me....Last job I had they decided I was too slow and mental, apparently I walked away when they where still giving instructions...It was loud in there I thought the dude was done....I mean crap, I guess I just bother people or freak them out.

So I am considering SSI as well...as for society, I say screw em, why should you feel bad about yourself just because you haven't lived up to society? I mean the way I see it society pretty much screwed me over so I should not feel bad about considering SSI. I know there is a lot of political BS out there but it is not 'wrong' to apply for SSI if you neeed financial help and so go for it. I mean people pay taxes and some of that tax money is supposed to go to helping the citizens of the country so try not to let all the rhetoric against welfare bring you down. If I had more money I would gladly pay taxes knowing it might go to some peoples SSI.

I applied for SSI this morning. They'll let me know in 4 months if I'm accepted or declined. I applied based on my hx of stroke, suicide attempt, depression and hypertension. I'd still like to work part time, though.

A thought of black humor just struck me; what if the people who approve and deny SSI look at all the applications marked suicidal and approve them, betting on that applicant to have a successful attempt?

I am in a role reversal with OP; I've been on SSI since I was 19, for the past 3 years I've developed a service-based business built from knowledge I acquired from working an under-the-table interest related job. I still have tools I have to make or buy on occasion, and I've found with the SSI and a minimum of 2 jobs a week I can last through the month with just enough for my daily gas and smokes, maybe a couple dollar menu items a week. IF my equipment doesn't break down on me en route to the gig. I find myself in a vicious spiral of nickel-and diming my machines, needing something dependable enough to make it to the call so I can get paid and buy the next part for the next machine. I recently had a month straight that pretty much left me walking everywhere, it led to an amazing journey into the world of MDs and led me here eventually. When summer kicks in I'll be just back to even

@OP; I'd say go for the SSI/SSDI. SSDI if you have notable work history. Stash away $1000 or so of the retro payment and use that as collateral on a small personal loan or use it for your business assets. Try to make a game of pretending it's an egg that needs an incubator, which in a way it is if it helps your business dream stay alive. Think of ways to nurture and grow it, and some day it will hatch and a bird will emerge that lays more eggs. Hope that works for you, coyotes keep getting mine!

I have read that one third of all the Americans who lost their jobs between 2008 and 2011 have either applied for or gotten accepted into Social Security disability. What does this mean? The answer is that there are a whole lot of people who can work, and who have skills and experience, but now want government to take care of them. Sure, it's tough to try to make ends meet in this bad (and possibly deteriorating) economy and society, but reliance on government is not the answer.
Of course, it encourages people to give it up and go on SSD since that increases the number of those dependent, not on themselves or their families, but on the welfare-nanny state. More jobs for well paid bureacrats, and less money available to fund the private sector.
I have talked with someone in my town. He is forty two, intelligent, articulate, physically healthy, and has worked in good corporate jobs before. He has recently been accepted for SSD for a good sized monthly check. For what? Bi -polar! Do you believe that? Taxpayers will have to fork over their hard earned money (or borrow from China and Japan) to help support him for the rest of his life. Isn't that outrageous?