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thechadmaster
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21 Feb 2005, 6:34 pm

Has anyone ever felt that they were "on the spot"? That everyone was waiting for an answer from you. I am in this situation quite often I am fumbling my way through a conversation and I kinda "stall out" or run out of words when everyone is still expecting me to continue. Or if I try to "tell it like it is" For example, I tell mom I will be home at 330, she says "i want you home at 3" I then say "the bus is late it has to be 330. "When I say there is nothing i can do about something they will say make it happen

Does anyone get the gist of what i am trying to say?


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CatGuy
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21 Feb 2005, 7:10 pm

All the time. In your example situation, if you're simply speaking the facts it's probably best to just restate them.

Whenever I'm asked a question, I instintively say "Huh?" even when I understand what the person was saying, just to buy myself extra time to process the question and think of an answer. Anyone else do this?



ElfMan
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21 Feb 2005, 8:03 pm

CatGuy wrote:
Whenever I'm asked a question, I instintively say "Huh?" even when I understand what the person was saying, just to buy myself extra time to process the question and think of an answer. Anyone else do this?


I do this a lot. What I think is happening is when I say "Huh?" it's because I don't understand yet. Because if I manage not to say "Huh?", I can watch my brain go through the process of peicing it together until it does get it. (If it does).

I constantly feel that I am on the spot too. I don't always understand people and they don't always understand me trying to understand them. A lot of the time I pretend to know what they are on about, when I don't. And a lot of times, I feel they just can't hear me.

ElfMan



Noetic
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22 Feb 2005, 7:51 am

I do hate it when that happens, I think I know what you mean. Often in the middle of a discussion I just run out of what I meant to say, it just stops and I can only repeat what I just said and become utterly unable to add anything else :?



hale_bopp
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22 Feb 2005, 6:08 pm

Yeah, I feel on the spot alot... I don't know how to explain it, but it seems to happen all the time.

It's like the whole world is looking at you waiting for an answer, it makes me nervous, when in reality, it's only one person waiting for an answer.

I feel on the spot at work alot because I have to make sure tables are wiped and set and plates are taken to keep the customers happy. I'm constantly nervous i'm not doing it fast enough.



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22 Feb 2005, 7:54 pm

I feel on the spot when I have to defend myself--like if someone questions something I've done at work, for example. I'm so bad at that kind of thing--I can never find the words. I might have a brilliant defense all worked out in my mind--logical, clear explanations for everything, but when I need to spit it out, it just evaporates. Then later, of course, the words all come back to me--long after I don't need them anymore.

At work, I'm expected to keep A LOT of specific, detailed information on the tip of my tongue. It's actually too boring to talk about and it's kind of annoying that I have to waste valuable brain cells on this kind of crap, but nonetheless, I'm expected to have all these facts handy. And any number of people might just ask me stuff--out of the blue--and I have to be ready with an answer. It's like taking a surprise pop quiz about 25 times a day. It's pretty scary, actually.

I really, really try to keep everything straight, and I do OK until someone asks me a question. Lots of times, when they do, they might as well be speaking German to me. I have no idea what they are talking about. Thank God for the phrase "let me check on that and get back to you".



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22 Feb 2005, 11:38 pm

Pretty much whenever someone asks me a question I feel like that. I can rarely give an answer right away, and even if I can my answers are always long winded with all the reasoning behind why I came up with that answer.

I usually scratch my head and go hmm... and repete the question asked. Then they walk away with acquired knowledge that I don't know what I am talking about. This is all most allways followed by me figuring out the answer 3-10min later and being hesitant in finding the people and giving them the answer.



hale_bopp
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23 Feb 2005, 12:13 am

On the spot conversation triggers my stuttering.



Bec
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23 Feb 2005, 12:57 am

Pugly wrote:
Pretty much whenever someone asks me a question I feel like that. I can rarely give an answer right away, and even if I can my answers are always long winded with all the reasoning behind why I came up with that answer.

I usually scratch my head and go hmm... and repete the question asked. Then they walk away with acquired knowledge that I don't know what I am talking about. This is all most allways followed by me figuring out the answer 3-10min later and being hesitant in finding the people and giving them the answer.


That sounds exactly like me! I've noticed that the most difficult question for me to answer is 'How are you?' If the person really does want to know, I usually have no clue how I'm feeling. If they don't care, then it often takes a while for the automatic 'Fine, thanks' response to come into my head.



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23 Feb 2005, 7:12 am

Quote:
Whenever I'm asked a question, I instintively say "Huh?" even when I understand what the person was saying, just to buy myself extra time to process the question and think of an answer. Anyone else do this?


I only say "huh?" when I did not understand them. But I say "um.." before answering pretty much any question.

Sometimes I have difficulty understanding what people are saying in the auditory/mishearing sense, and it takes a few moments for my brain to sort of "translate" what I've heard, like delayed processing.

Other times, I just don't understand what they are talking about. When I don't know what they are talking about, it's best when I realize it, but it seems more often than not that I will think I know what they meant, and will have completely misinterpretted them :? .

Quote:
I don't always understand people and they don't always understand me trying to understand them. A lot of the time I pretend to know what they are on about, when I don't.


Same here. I try to ask questions most of the time to clarify things, but when I've already asked several questions of someone, and it seems like they are becoming frustrated with me, I'll just pretend I hear/understand what they are saying so they don't get too fed up.



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23 Feb 2005, 11:04 am

Bec wrote:
That sounds exactly like me! I've noticed that the most difficult question for me to answer is 'How are you?' If the person really does want to know, I usually have no clue how I'm feeling. If they don't care, then it often takes a while for the automatic 'Fine, thanks' response to come into my head.
If I'm never asked "How are you?" by someone who obviously doesn't give a flying donkey either way ever again, I'd be happy :P



CatGuy
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23 Feb 2005, 3:41 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
On the spot conversation triggers my stuttering.

Same.
Civet wrote:
Quote:
I don't always understand people and they don't always understand me trying to understand them. A lot of the time I pretend to know what they are on about, when I don't.


Same here. I try to ask questions most of the time to clarify things, but when I've already asked several questions of someone, and it seems like they are becoming frustrated with me, I'll just pretend I hear/understand what they are saying so they don't get too fed up.

I do that a lot. I get really embarrassed and anxious when people get annoyed like that.
bec wrote:
That sounds exactly like me! I've noticed that the most difficult question for me to answer is 'How are you?' If the person really does want to know, I usually have no clue how I'm feeling. If they don't care, then it often takes a while for the automatic 'Fine, thanks' response to come into my head.

One of my old friends used to kid me by asking "What's up?" :lol:



ascan
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23 Feb 2005, 4:22 pm

thechadmaster wrote:
Does anyone get the gist of what i am trying to say?

Yes.

I find this, too. I think people who don't have AS indicate they're completing their turn in the conversation with things such as subtle use of intonation and eye contact, as well as appropriate syntax. We confuse them.



thechadmaster
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24 Feb 2005, 7:50 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Yeah, I feel on the spot alot... I don't know how to explain it, but it seems to happen all the time.

It's like the whole world is looking at you waiting for an answer, it makes me nervous, when in reality, it's only one person waiting for an answer.

I feel on the spot at work alot because I have to make sure tables are wiped and set and plates are taken to keep the customers happy. I'm constantly nervous i'm not doing it fast enough.

my feelings exactly


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hale_bopp
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24 Feb 2005, 6:13 pm

I hate it when people say "HOWZIT??!" (how is it)

what are you supposed to say? Hello? "it's good/bad/whatnot"??


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