Suspect a new friend of mine has Aspergers.

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Over the past 2 months I've become friends with a guy I used to work with. Everyone that used to be his friend had bad things to say including that he might be a sociopath. He's a loner, very quiet, and at one point in time just stopped hanging out with any friends he once had. They claim he had a breakdown and just acted generally strange. Since we've been talking I noticed our conversations are pretty much one sided and consist of him speaking about different interests of his. He has a fascination with science and nature mostly. We went for a walk outside and instead of having a normal conversation, he pretty much acted as a tour guide and told me random facts about the area. He talked a little about things he did when he was a bit younger, but mostly it was either complete awkward silence, or the fact telling. There was barely any eye contact and he actually wore dark sunglasses almost the entire time although it wasn't even remotely sunny. That was the only time we've ever really hung out. We always talk via text messaging, which is even worse because I always feel like he doesn't want to talk to me. He either doesn't respond with anything significant, or it's always back to something he wants to talk about. He occasionally comes off as being a little rude, but I don't think he means to be. I have always been the one to initiate us hanging out and he told me when we first met that he doesn't mind not having friends, but he always tells me he's lonely, and never says no when I ask him to hang out. He can be very shy, hasn't had many relationships and from what he says he always is the one to get dumped. I told him I'd like to try to be his friend and he was fine with that. I just don't get the mixed signals at times. There will be days he will text me all day long, and then others he just ignores me. I sometimes find myself asking him if I am annoying him because I often have to start the conversation and he apologizes and says he just doesn't know what to say. I feel like the fact that I'm the only person he's hung out with in months is a good sign, but at the same time I often feel rejected. I am not sure how to talk to him anymore. I am losing hope in a sense. Does it sound like he has Aspergers? If so how can I approach the situation a little differently. I really like him and would like to continue to be his friend, I just don't know how to deal with it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Sounds like he could have it to be honest, but I don't have any advice, sorry.

He could be on the spectrum, you never know. In any case, even if he wasn't, I suspect he has nothing to say because you guys don't have much common ground. I'd like to meet someone on the same knowledge level myself but I don't want to be anybody's teacher or instructor. Too tiring. Me, being an aspie, I would know what he's interested in and become an overnight expert by learning about it. I've done that before, but like I'd said, that's an aspie trait.

Based on your description, he sounds like he make be "on the spectrum."

As to "what to do": That depends on how much you like him and are willing to "put up with him". What does that entail?: probably having to initiate a lot of emotion-based conversations, having to endure his 'special interests'--whatever they might be at any given time, the Patience of a Saint, a fair amount of frustration... I could go on. ; )

Basically, he could very well be the type of guy who is easily occupied by his own mind and interests, requiring--therefore--little outside intervention/stimuli. That doesn't mean that he doesn't like/enjoy it. He just doesn't NEED it as much as other folks. As a result, you may find yourself in the position of having to initiate many activities/conversations.

Yes, as a 'guy with Aspergers,' I can say with some authority that you will have to 'put up with' a fair amount of confounding emotional queues and conversations that tend toward monologue, as opposed to dialogue. If you're up for it, and are genuinely intrigued by this guy (but in a way that is beyond viewing him as a 'science experiment' or 'something to fix'), then go for it. And Bless You. He's probably really interesting...

From what I gather, some ladies view Men with Aspergers as The Devil, and others see us as thoughtful, compassionate AND deliberate Teddy Bear Geniuses. "Eye of the beholder," I suppose.

Regards to all.