Should I Say Something?

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I belong to a very small support group for Adults on the Spectrum. The woman who runs this group is wonderful in many ways, but she does this one thing which I find very annoying and troublesome.

On my very first day in the group, I asked her if she had any bus schedules around because I had forgotten mine. She immediately encouraged me to accept a ride from one of the men in the group. I was uncomfortable because I felt that she had put me on the spot, as well as everyone sitting there. There were about five men and one woman there. I explained that I would prefer to just take the bus home, because I didn't know anybody there well enough to accept a ride from. But I couldn't believe she would ask me to accept a ride from a complete stranger!

Then we recently had a new woman join the group. Very shy, and not very talkative. On her first day there, and the group leader started encouraging her to date another single Aspie guy there. Even though the guy had expressed interest in meeting someone, I could see that she was embarrassing them terribly. But she kept suggesting that they go places together, in a very aggressive way. For all she knew, this new girl could be gay, or asexual. She was really putting her and this other guy on the spot. I strongly suspected that the girl would not return, and she did not. At another meeting, a new guy joined. The leader started doing the same thing; encouraging him to hang out with another Aspie guy there. At least the other Aspie guy very openly said that he liked doing things alone, since he was an Aspie.

I fear that this guy won't return either, since his and that other woman's very first impression of the group is that they are going to be pressured to do things that they don't want to do! It is almost as if she is running a dating service instead of a support group.

I hate to see people being driven away; especially since there are so few resources for the adult Aspie community around here. Should I say something?

Sound's like providing an aspie dating group. If that keeps happening. She is been too controlling in pushing people into potential relationships. That would just make people run in the other direction.

What you call a person that hook's people up to dates “my mind has gone blank” lol

Ok.. If she is running this group, she is probably very excited about the idea of getting aspies to interact - I know I would be.
However, it does sound like she's over-doing it a bit. She might not mean to, but just.. trying too hard.

I definitely think you should say something. Especially if it's going to cause someone to not want to return.

I'm part of an adult aspie meet-up too, and I'm very close friends with the two co-founders of the group.. And we've discussed alot of stuff like this.
You should point this out to her; it's very constructive criticism.. However, (IF) she is an aspie, you have to take into consideration that being told you are doing something socially wrong can be very hard to cope with for someone on the spectrum.. But if she is running the group, then I'm sure she's taken things/complications like this into consideration.

At best, that sounds seriously stupid, for any sort of support group. Is there any appropriate authority to tell about it?

I definitely think you should say something. If something like that happened the first time or maybe even ever I would likely not come back... And I'm sure lots aspies would feel the same!

Maybe just tell her that you feel that she's pressuring people a bit too much and they don't like that.

I would talk to some other group members and see how they feel about it. Then I would tell her that although she means well by encouraging members to be more social, it's not appreciated. Point out that it's a support group, not a social skills or interpersonal relationships class. You could also suggest that she start another group in addition to your group, that focuses on dating and socializing, rather than just support.

ETA; She is probably one of those who thinks that you'll be so much happier if you are just pushed in the right direction. She probably sees herself as making you learn to do the "right thing".

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com