Family: necessary or not?

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I know family is supposed to be the one thing you can always count on, but what if you just don't feel the same way? I'm living abroad and I don't really miss my family.....I miss my best friend and my dog, but I don't miss my mom or my grandparents....does that make me a bad person?? Or that something is wrong with me? I just don't really necessarily think I've had THAT much of an emotional connection with them to make me MISS them like crazy....is it an Aspie thing?? Help me out here....

I feel about the same way.
It's kind of like an out-of-sight, out-of mind type of thing for me. If I don't see someone, it's almost like they don't even exist; Including family.
With the exception of my four year old son that I've been away from for over 7 months now.. I really miss him. I was never very affectionate with anyone either, until he came along. He is on the spectrum, too, and I wonder if he misses me.

The family I was born into have been a great disappointment to me and have not been understanding or supportive and at times have been outright hostile.

The family I have acquired are all I need.

I was like that when I moved to Alberta for 2 years. I visited my family for one week during the summer. I was quite happy to be away from the family drama. It's not that I don't love my family but I just don't need to be around them 24/7.

I'm also an "out of sight, out of mind" type of person. I haven't had any contact with my family for years. Every time I did contact them in the past, I ended up feeling crappy afterwards, so I figure that I'm better off without them. And they don't seem to miss me either.

The times I've had to count on my family are some of the worst times of my life.

Bluntly, my family will give me the barest minimum help when I need it, but when it comes to even something so simple as support, they throw me under the bus. My mother constantly gaslights me and one of my nieces and my sister are abusive narcissists. I receive constant double standards (meaning that while other people may do certain things more frequently than I do, that I do them is unacceptable and must be stopped, and that they do them is just, well...can't be helped, their hands are tied, etc. etc.).

Given the choice, I'd keep to minimal contact with most of them.

My family kind of blew it with me during my adolescence, and I never felt close to them after that. I was always careful not to lose touch with them completely, and did a few duty visits, but it was as if they'd become "non-people" to me.....my peers were the only thing that floated my social boat.

It didn't make much difference to my life when my parents died, although I felt some sorrow on quite a deep level. Now there's only my sister, we keep in better touch than we used to, and she's got at least equal social status to my peers. When there's only one left, you value them more. She doesn't figure much in my life, but hardly anybody does these days, except the occasional partner and of course my son, with whom I have a somewhat wooden, but enduring friendship.

Out of sight out of mind for me too.

I never miss anyone, really, so same with my family.

I positively do not understand why anyone would "miss" someone. I don't think it makes sense. Maybe one might want to have the same kind of discussions, or miss something they brought to one's life, but just missing someone in principle... I don't understand at all.

I can't say I feel the same way. I am extremely attached to my parents and younger brother. My attachment to my mom in particular is so intense that other people both online and off have called it "unhealthy" (though I disagree with that label and wonder how a simple loving relationship between mother and daughter could be construed as "unhealthy"). I miss my mom terribly when she has to work long shifts or travel due to family issues, to the point that I feel like I'm being driven insane by her absence. She and my brother worry that I will be so devastated by her eventual death that I will have to be put in a psychiatric ward when that time comes.

Financially: yes, unfortunately.

Socially: no.

I moved from Jersey to Florida about two years ago and, to be honest, I agree with the others here. Out of sight, out of mind. I feel awful about it, too. My mom used to try tell me how she calls her own mom every day. I know she was trying to drill it into me that that's a normal mother-daughter relationship. But honestly, I just don't understand what there would be to talk about if I called her every day. "Hey, Mom. Yes, I'm well. Nothing really important happened today. I ate a bagel. I took a walk. I did stuff online. I also basically read a book all evening." I expect it'd be similar nonsense from her, too. (NTs really have a weird affinity for pointless chitchat, don't they?) I'd rather call her when there's actually something to say, like "Happy birthday!" or "I got a promotion!"

I sometimes miss playing games or driving with my brothers. They're all as quirky as I am, so it's not like I can substitute anyone or anything else for them. But I guess that's what it comes down to, is more that I miss doing activities with certain people. I don't get the urge to just see someone.

I miss the dog like crazy all the time. My partner finds that odd. I don't need too much contact with my family though - sometimes different family members call or email in the same week and I feel crowded. My sis has sent me a couple of texts and sent an email in the last few days and I'm trying to get to feeling like I can reply. I don't know why I put things off like that... it upsets people...

I have a large family full of very nice, caring people. I moved a few hours away for 7 years and hardly missed them at all. I was very closed off during my adolescence/early 20s. Now that I'm older, I'm growing to identify with them more, and I do miss them when I don't see them for a while, especially my sister. I don't think it's a coincidence that this is developing alongside my personal development in other areas (being more in touch with myself emotional, learning to process things differently, learning to compromise and relate to others).

no, it doesnt make you a bad person, but maybe the relationship between you and your family isn't very tight.
i lived aboard for nine years and saw my parents once a year or two. i was always depressed when they showed up and relieved to see the back of them, to be honest. if i never see them again i wouldnt mind.
i did miss my brother, though. not my younger sister, who is a wonderful person, but i just don't have that bond with her.
i almost never miss people. i miss animals. i miss my cats terribly. i might miss a job, a situation, a place i used to live, but not people, with the exception of my brother and nieces.

My brother is incredibly similar to you. He isn't living abroad, he's only twenty miles away, but he deliberately avoids coming over because he doesn't like our mom or dad. He's perfectly happy to babysit my younger brother or go see a movie or walk the dogs with me, but whenever Mom or Dad comes a'callin, he says, "Uh, I have to work tonight."

Even though he actually only works for about two hours in the morning, one at night, and gets free room and board. [He's an aide for a LFA man who lives alone; he makes sure he doesn't miss the bus or forget to shower or brush his teeth. Or try to go out wearing a purple and green suit as a tribute to Heath Ledger on a work day.]

I don't blame him, and I don't blame you. You probably shouldn't cut them off entirely; just give them a call every now and again and say, "Just calling to say 'Hi.'" Or, if it's more comfortable, use snail-mail. There's not lots of room to get agitated, you don't have to deal with them when you don't want to, and you can always pick and choose what you feel like responding to.