How can I master conversation?

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So basically once I get past "Hi, how's it going?" and maybe a comment about the weather, my mind goes blank. I just don't know what the f**k to say most of the time.

I've watched NT's converse, their conversations flow so fluently they make it look easy. Hell, some of them find it hard to STOP talking.

If I'm on Ecstasy or Speed I can hold conversations fine, so the ability does exist, it just needs to be activated. But I can't exactly speed every day, those drugs f**k your brain up.

I need some kind of system.

Has anyone here overcome this issue?

It can be tough if the only people you ever talk to only talk about themselves, especially if their interests bore the hell out of you.

Ask questions. Better yet, find people who ask questions of you. That will get you talking, but be careful. Practice saying one thing about yourself, followed by a question about them. Questions are probably the best way to keep a conversational volley going because they require replies.

Practice.

If you can't find the right environment to make it work, one of the best places I've found to practice is by joining a group like Toastmasters. The only thing about them is the focus is on giving speeches. That may sound like the absolute wrong environment to get started in, but if you really think about it, it's perfect. We like to monologue, right? Usually about our favorite topics. Well, a speech is a monologue. Most of the clubs are pretty small, and though some of the people there are accomplished speakers, most of them aren't. You get to hear other people stumbling over their words and being nervous.

There is also the socialization aspect before and after the meetings. It may not sound like "your thing," but it's worth a try, and if you don't think it fits you, you can always ask members about other stuff going on that would help you hone your social skills. I've been to a few in our area and found that nobody there was judgmental at all. If I were to go back, I wouldn't hesitate to explain that I have Autism now that I know. Most of the people there are pretty cool, and used to nervousness. A lot of folks that go either were very nervous at first, or still are, and that's why they're there.

It takes practice, and a lot of it. If you really want to get better at it, you HAVE to expose yourself to environments where it will happen. Seeing as that's pretty much the purpose of Toastmasters, it seems like the perfect place to go if you're serious about improving.


http://www.toastmasters.org/