How Embarassing

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Today I went to a meeting to help trianing for fundraising. I already hate these kind of events because it's a lot of people and it feels like a lot of eye on me. But then not only that, but you have to add food to the mix. And that's where things get weird. I never really like buffet grab what you want to begin with because I am afraid that I may take to much or that there won't be enough for the people there. Then comes the fact that I am awkward with my food.

I don't like mixing flavors, desserts go unto separate plates and I use seperate utensils as well. I also do not like grabbbing desserts before I finish my meal. So, when do I go grab that? Thank god they had a midway break where people were grabbing more food and grabbing desserts. But then I realize as I am looking around the table a thirty minutes later. Everyone threw away their trash and I had not.

I feel like I failed in my social politeness. I feel like a bit of a failure right now because I hadn't done what everyone else had done. Not only that, but I think I do get weird when I talk.

I use a lot of erm hand signals and get very excited when I talk about things I like. And sometimes my hand motions look like I'm strangling people.

All in all I humilated myself tonight.

I always keep food seperate from each other, I don't like multiple textures. I will eat it if it's touched other food though, I know some aspie people don't.
Try not to beat yourself up too much, I find that in situations like this, the people around you barely noticed for more than a moment that someone was acting outside of their 'rules' they set up around complicated things such as buffets.
I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't even remember by next time you see them.

Buffets are the thing that make me so anxious and make me so worried. I really hate them. I do not think anyone matches anxiety level food gives me when around other people.

Most likely, no one noticed any of this. Everyone is usually so wrapped up in themselves and talking to the other people around them that they don't really notice what anyone else is doing. And I'm sure you didn't humiliate yourself.
Once, at a volunteering orientation event, I accidentally insulted a woman so badly that she left the room in tears. People noticed that. As long as there were no tears, you're probably fine