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chris1989
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Joined: 2 Aug 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 245
Location: Kent, UK

26 Aug 2019, 11:39 am

Sometimes whenever I find out a girl I've been friends and have feelings for is in a relationship with someone else, I then start feeling quite jealous and thinking I'm no good for them and want to stop talking and avoid talking to them in order for them to notice what is wrong and how I feel. I do still hate myself sometimes for when jealousy boils over depending on how I feel, one time I said something to someone I liked once when I didn't really mean, and it upset them, and even the person she was seeing text me to leave her alone and that I was a fantasist.



Juliette
Veteran
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Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,004
Location: Surrey, UK

26 Aug 2019, 12:44 pm

Chris, this is something that can effect anyone, no matter whether they’re neurotypical or otherwise. Jealousy stems from insecurity. “Why aren’t I good enough?” If you were secure in yourself, you wouldn’t be reacting this way. If it feels like a rejection or personal attack, being human and withdrawing for a bit, I believe, is a natural reaction. But, it sounds like you need to nurse your wounds, without lashing out verbally. You’ve learned the effect of that. Makes things worse. So, learn from it. Take your attention and interest and direct them at something else, for a bit. Let how you’re feeling out(it needs an outlet), be it physical(running, cycling, whatever works for you), or something you can “do”(favourite interest/hobby/games/movies/music) and lose yourself in it for a bit. Don’t beat yourself up for being human. You need someone to tell you “You are awesome!”.