Parents do not seem to believe diagnosis

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abyssquick
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23 Mar 2012, 2:05 pm

They doubt any suggestion of my mild autism diagnosis. It came about through a friend whose mother has Asperger's - she noticed many of my similar thinking patterns and oddities and set me on the path of finding out this important piece to my identity. Before, it had no name - it was an odd, mysterious defect, sometimes called ADD - but that didn't cover everything, only the kinetic tendencies.

I try to tell them, but still they think I have some kind of "learning disorder" or something that was only pervasive during school. When in fact I see it permeating every part of my life and social interactions. As someone out on their own for a few years, I see it now more than ever.

I see all sorts of childhood oddities fitting into place.

- spooked very easily at sudden noises
- strange light posture, and walking habit
- inability to read tones of voices, facial expressions very well
- being a social pushover, who never advocated for themselves
- inability to sit still, calm the mind - constant kinetic activity

and many other things. I read the "Complete Guide" and I see pieces of myself, my own history.

Anyone else have parents who do not seem receptive?



kahlua
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26 Mar 2012, 5:36 am

Mine are denying it, but I expect that. They never really took much notice of me as a kid, and because I was quiet and did really well academically, nothing was perceived to be wrong. I Think mine won't admit it because then they need to admit they have their own ASD like issues.

My dad is an emotional void, I don't think he has ever asked me how I'm going etc. My mum is really selfish and doesn't know when to stop talking about private\personal things. She can't read people, talks over the top of them etc. I never really noticed these until I started researching ASD, and now its really obvious.

Even after giving them tony attwoods book, they dismiss him as some celebrity quack and insist I see some random non ASD proficient psyciatrist,, and insist my issues are anxiety\depression. I regret telling them to be honest.

Are you in the same boat, or perhaps some other reason why they aren't accepting the diagnosis?



YellowBanana
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26 Mar 2012, 6:37 am

I haven't told my parents, and that's partly because I know they believe that I'm, for want of a better phrasing that I can't come up with right now, "completely normal" and have always invalidated any experiences that I have had to the contrary.

Now add to the mix the fact that I was recently re-evaluated by the psychiatrist who tells me I have EDD (emotional dysregulation disorder - nicer name for bpd which puts the emphasis on the problems you're experiencing rather than your personality) on top of the ASD and that this was most likely caused by years of trauma from not having been diagnosed sooner and therefore having to try to deal with all the difficulties ASD presents by myself but not really knowing how.

My mum once told me she doesn't believe in depression, and that whatever happens you should never seek help from mental health services. Which is both why I have never told her about the depression & anxiety which has plagued me for years, and why I have never received help sooner (apart from anti-depressants from my GP which never worked) and has probably led to the complete mess I am in now.

I'd suggest not looking for your parents acceptance on this - otherwise it's just going to become an extra source of stress. You've told your parents, they don't accept it. At least you know. Now get on with your life. I kind of want to tell my parents - because I have huge guilt keeping this from them - but at the same time, I don't want to deal with their denial.


_________________
Female. Dx ASD in 2011 @ Age 38. Also Dx BPD