Questions from my Mom...

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My Mom asked me to ask here some questons for her. any answers, ideas and/or suggestions are appreciated!! First, she wants to know what an NT can do to make interaction with them easier for an aspie. And second, what do you wish your parents had done differently with you? Third, Mom's brother is VERY classically Aspie, do you think she should mention this to him? If so, how? Thank you!!

First, I like your signature, see my avatar. If response to your question, all an NT needs to do, is assume that an aspie is speaking litteraly, i am 95% of the time, and be patient, often an aspie will "dance around the subject", and when asked a question will think longer and come up with a long winded answer and justification for that answer.

Q2 Nothing

Q3 Yes

The thing I often want to scream at people is "if you want to tell me something then just TELL me." I hate it when people talk around a subject because they're afraid of maybe hurting my feelings. All that does is leave them frustrated and me confused.

That topic is already running in another thread (Mom needs advice). In simplest terms, I wish my mother had been a bit more supportive when I started having problems in school. People didn't know much about hidden learning disabilities back in the 70's and therefore any time a "smart" student started to fall behind he was labelled "lazy" and punished instead of helped.

If he *is* Aspie then he'd probably appreciate it if she brought it up rather directly, using something like "my daughter showed me a web site about this thing called Asperger's Syndrome and it made me think of you." If there is any doubt, she could always start by gossiping about someone else he knows who has been diagnosed and hope he sees the similarities himself.

I think that you really cant go too fast with an aspie. Be patient and give em' time to talk. My parents were great except i wish they would have been a little more open minded with me. I would that she should talk to her brother but I really dont know what should be said. It could sound like a terrible accusation if you do it too quickly, usually its best to get a shrinks opinion on that one.
A

Yup, Patience seems to be the biggest key in dealing with an Aspie. I can remember all the times where I wasn't given enough time to work out my thoughts. I also think taking time to think about what the Aspie said is also important. I know I will explain things in unconventional ways, which leads to confusions. I think an NT will not understand an Aspie because what is being said isn't what they expect... so it's best to make completely sure both sides are on the same page

Hidden agendas, subtle hints, and body language is deffiently not the way to interact with Aspies. At work my Boss will say things are okay, but actually be disapointed. I didn't pick up on this untill a coworker said he gets upset when I do certain things, I thought everything was good because he all ways said "it's okay"

Also when talking to an Aspie, I think there should be few outside distractions. My mind can easily wonder when talking and not pick up on what people are talking about, its really easy when there are distractions. Taking an Aspie to a resturaunt to talk about important things is probably a bad idea.

My parents are seperated, so that has its own set of problems with growing up. I can't really think of too much that could be differient though

Thank you all for your responses!! My Mom appreciates them very much, as she is hoping to join a support group or something similar, and doesn't know what would be the best way to interact with an aspie(I am atypical AS in many ways) She will probably tell my Uncle in some way about AS, it will be interesting to see if he thinks he was it, too.

My AS suggestion to NTs everywhere: Please, don't stare! I know society expects you to make eye contact when speaking to someone, but I really wish more people would forget that particular rule. I really don't mind if you look at your hands or at my clothes or the zit on my chin or even glance around the room. I'm listening to your WORDS.
I DO MIND that every time I glance at your face, you're staring into my eyes!