I don't have autism, but...

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Newbie here, great website. I just wanted to tell you all a bit about myself, because I think it would help me out a bit and I'd like to hear what other people think. I don't have autism, but a few people have asked me if I am. I always just thought I was a bit weird.

As a child, I was very quiet and reserved. I preferred reading or listening to music, rather than socialising but every so often I would crave company. I was/still am very repetitive. I used to watch the same VHS tapes and listen to the same songs every day. They had to be the same ones every day, or I'd get upset.

I'm 26 now, and I have a normalish life. I have few friends, but I get on well with some work colleagues who seem to accept my eccentricities for what they are. I do socialise sometimes, but I have to know about a day/night out at least a week in advance so that I can mentally prepare for it. Although, I've been invited to a wedding next week and I'm absolutely terrified at the thought of going. I keep having panic attacks just thinking about it. I have these "obsessions" that can grip me for months. It's usually about unsolved crimes and conspiracies, but every so often it can be about people that I know, which can frighten me. I have to find out everything about them. I once turned down a night out because I was following the JFK motorcade route on Street View.

I think because I'm older now that I'm starting to realise that what I consider normal isn't normal. What do you guys think?

What do you want us to think?

I sense a streak of Introversion; maybe more than just a "streak." Have you ever taken any testing? There are some tests online, I understand, that take very little time. If you take any maybe let us know what you've found? Good luck.

I've taken a few online tests for autism, and they suggested there is a strong possibility that I have it. Not sure if I want to be diagnosed properly or not though.

You don't have to get a formal diagnosis if you don't want to. I have red hair and freckles. Sometimes people identify me as a brown haired person instead of a red-haired person. It really just depends on how you categorize people, both with hair color and autism.

I like to say that spectrum people are those who identify or have been identified as being on the autism spectrum. Because sometimes a formal diagnosis doesn't agree with self tests, and sometimes everyone seems to think a person is autistic but they don't personally feel the category fits them.

That's great. Uhm.. I was also thinking if I have it, and quite not sure my mother told me that we shall go to a psychologist, because she knew the struggles I'm having with my feeling odd, depressed, meltdowns, getting labeled by my classmates as weirdo etc. all the time, but I just wanted to seek professional help in order to relieve myself with these nagging thoughts in my head. I wanna be affirmed that I'm just this, for a reason, I need a reason why.

Whether or not you have autism doesn't change who you are.

I wonder what would happen if you read up on the "Broad Autism Phenotype"--could that provide some answers?

No, it wouldn't make much difference to me if I had it or not. I do accept that I'm weird and slightly backward though.

In what way do you think you're "backward."

Do remember: everybody is "backward" in some respects, "forward" in others.

I never really know how to talk to people. If I meet someone for the first time and they try and make conversation with me, I just tend to reply with "hmm" "yeah" or "I dunno". So they must think I'm rude or just ignorant. I have a pretty sick sense of humour so I try and say something that I think is funny and the other person takes great offence to it. I actually got in trouble at work for this once.

I have this weird thing about noise too. According to my mother, when I was a baby I was taken to a fireworks display. I screamed the whole time I was there. A few other things like this happened and eventually my mum was told by a doctor that I just had very sensitive hearing. To this day, I can't stand fireworks. Nice to look at, but I hate the sound. I flinch every time I hear one. But I can hear car alarms going off from miles away. Right now, I can hear the traffic from the motorway which is a considerable distance away. If I'm walking around town, I have to have my headphones on with music on because I can't stand the sound of crowds. On the rare occasion I do go out to socialise, it has to be in a quiet pub because nightclubs are my worst nightmare.

You probably need a professional diagnosis but here's my 2 cents for free

introversion

OCD

OCD

Based on the information provided you do have autistic type traits, however I'd also consider introverted personality type and OCD as well. Quite honestly if what you like isn't "normal" just accept you are part of the nuerodiverse universe rather than trying to make yourself fit into a pigeon hole.

You have just described repetitive obsessions, anxiety, noise sensitivities, and not knowing how to talk to people. Based on this information I would seriously look into Autism. Your life is going ok now and hopefully it stays that way but if it turns for the worse and you need services or therapy it would be better at least to have an understanding of what is going on with you and better yet if possible have a diagnosis (Autism or not) then to first start searching.

Diagnostic Criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder

What I find odd is that I had a few problems while I was growing up. Parents divorcing, abuse etc. So I did have counselling and things like that. Yet autism was never mentioned.

Was anything else mentioned like OCD? If not then seems they weren't perusing an angle that would lead to autism etc. I'm guessing high functioning autism goes unnoticed sometimes if it's not being looked for or whoever doesn't know what it looks like. Anyways I have been around a lot of aspies my whole life and you sound enough like one to me. Lots of kids in my school have overlapping stuff like autism and ocd. I have overlapping autism and dyspraxia. Kinda hard to tell which is causing what in some cases.

The main thing is how much of an impact whatever is having on your life. One thing I have learned about neuro-typical people on my forums, is a lot of them feel plenty different, goofy, strange, disliked etc. Not in the way you are describing, just saying most people feel out of place one way or another, so don't let it get you down.

There are lots of reasons why a person would not be diagnosed as autistic. The first, obvious reason is that the person in question is not autistic. Other reasons might be that the person is female, of a non-US/UK/Western culture, not white, has other condition that might mask autism, has highly educated parents, has parents that make a lot of money, has parents that would dislike a "label" and other things that aren't coming to my mind right now.

There are also a lot of similarities between OCD and autism, intraversion and autism. As well as ADHD and autism, and other things. I would always seek a second opinion if I got any of these diagnoses, unless I personally was completely satisfied that the classification "fit."

Well, I'm female, white and British. I come from a very working class background though. But as someone said, they probably weren't looking for autism.