Funny autistic moments

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Well, I had several of them:

First one, I do not remember, but my mother says, that when I was around the age of two, we were going home from some trip, she and my dad were talking about their friends and there my dad said: "They should buy that themselves" (it sounds bit different in my native language but for the purposes of the story it matters not). For some reason, I found that sentence hillarious and I started laughing insanely, repeating that sentence over and over for several hours; when we got home, I even started to run in circles, obviously being very excited, continuing with laugh and repeating the sentence.

Second one, I remember partially, happened when I was around 7 years old. At that time I was already a skilled reader (I knew the alphabet since I was about 3,5 and was able to put letters into words, at age 5) and I had already read several books. At one point, after just finishing one book, I came to my mother and said in very concerned and serious manner that from this time, I will not read anything fictional since I would not ever bother myself with reading something that is untrue. I read only encyclopaedias from that time on (until several years later).

Third one happened about year ago. I just started to date classmate XY, it was going pretty well, but we were only on one date at that time. I was just at the college library, when I met another of my classmates and we sat together and talked for a while, she asked me how my date went and also said, that some people from our grade are going out next day and if I and XY wanna join; I replied that I can't because I am bit short on money, but she replied she could lend me some. At that point, the XY girl came, sat down and all three of us talked for a while, finally classmate said to the XY, that some people from our grade are going out next day and if she wants to join. XY replied that yes, she will go and then turned and asked me whether I am going. The classmate gave me the look, but I replied, that I really can't go; at that point she kicked me under the table to which I loudly (that even XY could hear that) responded with, 'why are you giving me weird looks and then kicking me under the table?'

Fourth one, which I find especially funny was caused by the fact that I sometimes think so hard about something, that I loose track of my surroundings. About 6 months ago, my previous girlfriend was just telling me some really important stuff. However I just had one of my thinking moments and unluckily, when she started talking, I was just gazing in the direction of her head, so she assumed I was looking at her, paying attention. She started talking and talked for about 15 minutes, maybe? (I do not really know, I was lost in my thoughts completely) After that she asked me what I think about it, which snapped me out of the trance-like state I was in, so I innocently looked at her and asked: "What I think about what?" She gave me her I-think-I-am-gonna-kill-you look, which made me confused, so I asked her, even more innocently than before: "Why are you looking at me like that?" She just shook her head and left.

I was trying to find someplace to post these, because my Aspie DS8 makes me laugh.


1.)

Last night, he went Aspie on me while playing Bananagrams. Scrabble/crossword type of game if you haven't played.
Anyway, we flipped the tiles in order to start, and he does this, of course:



After about 15 minutes of carefully placing, messing up, restacking, etc... all but 8 of them, my Wife yells downstairs that dinner is ready, he pops up smiles and says "That was fun!" and runs upstairs like we had been playing for a few hours. We never even got to start the game...



2.)

This morning, he needed to put on socks. He hates them. Vehemently. As you know, that chore can take an hour+ if they ever go on at all.

He lays down, and I get them on his feet, he looks at the socks, me, socks, me, and starts yelling that he can't stand them, and it feels like the flesh is being "burned off my skeleton feet" and balls up on the floor silent.

5 seconds later he stands up smiling, says "I'm just kidding, they're perfect this morning" and runs out of the room.

He's awesome.

My mom tells a story sometimes of when I was four. I was playing outside and run out into the street. She frantically calls me back. I told her that, in fact, I didn't run out into the street. I was chasing a butterfly (and presumably, looking up into the sky and not at the street!).

I was a very blunt, direct child and said some things that must have been terribly embarassing at the time, but thinking back they're funny. For example once we passed a very ugly woman on the street and I loudly said to my mother "look, doesn't that woman look terrible?" (feel really sorry for that one...) Another time an aunt of mine was talking to me like I was a little baby and apparently I asked "is she ill or why does she speak so ret*d?"

Also I got some things really wrong. Like the German word "Notar" which means notary, and the word "Notarzt" which means emergency doctor. I always just assumed "Notar" was short for "Notarzt" though of course they meant different things, and one day (I think I was already 11 or 12) I asked my mother why most lawyers work as emergency doctors too...

I was nine years old and we had show and tell at school and someone brought in a spiderman car. I remember someone saying "wow that's cool" My response to that was "it's probably at room temperature" I must add that although i take things literally I don't take things as literally as I did

When I mentioned a chair that may be unsafe for a previous resident that someone else may start using. the manager said 'dose she ever tip it over' to which I replied no she has already died

When my dad read Alice in Wonderland to me as a very small child (I forget exactly how old) and he got to the part where Alice says "I've seen a cat without a grin before but never a grin without a cat" I said "I've seen a grin without a cat before.....on a person". My dad laughed and said I was a very logical child.

I like repeating dialogue from TV shows I've seen, mostly because I like the way they sound. I've quoted entire scenes from shows like Big Bang Theory and my mother just stares at me like I have two heads; I never thought it was odd I could do this, but apparently it freaks other people out!

A lot of funny stories here!

I'm going to contribute, but hold on, it's going to be embarrassing! I might also mention that I actually consider myself very high functioning, but you would not think so reading this!

Okey so while I were in junior-high I was obviously eating what ever I got served by my mother. My family have had a pretty bad diet, so I had some issues with my... ehm "behind". More precise some intense itching from time to time. It was probably hemorrhoids or something, but I do not know because I never go it checked out (I dared to tell my mother only once and she just told me to get it together). It naturally passed by itself after some time.

Now to the point. While being in school and having this itch, I thought that I could scratch my behind without people noticing it even though they were right in front of me! I thought that because my hand was theoretically behind me my body would block their sight of view, so it would just seem like I were holding the hand behind my back (even though I scratched like crazy!! !). So I could stand with two or more people looking straight at me, and I would check behind me because I would not want anyone seeing me scratching, but if nobody was behind me I could start scratching like crazy in the middle of the classroom! The thing was, that because it seemed so OBVIOUS for everyone else that everyone saw what I were doing NOBODY said anything. It's not funny to bully or tease someone about something they are obviously not embarrassed about I guess. So I would do this for around a MONTH, before one dude randomly said "oh heres the scratcher, and moved his hand to his behind to mimic me", and I could obviously see what he was doing! My heart skipped several beats and I was screaming on the inside: "THEY CAN TOTALLY SEE WHAT I AM DOING WITH MY HAND BEHIND MY BACK!

Now as an adult, I can not imagine how this was even possible, talk about theory of mind right?!?!

When at the doctor's surgery once a few years ago I was going to be given a local anisthetic and I was asked if I was alergic to anything. I explained that I was suspected to have a mild alergy to breast milk. I got a couple of very strange looks. Some time later I realised that they were just trying to find out if I was alergic to anything that they might give me at the surgery. I can be a little too litral sometimes lol.

I was over at my partners family's house for christmas dinner and all of the food was in the center of the table. I was trying to serve myself some turkey but the piece I was trying to serve was attached to another piece by some skin. I tried to separate it since the two pieces were much more than I wanted but they just wouldn't come apart. At home I would just use my hands but I was trying not to be rude. I kept switching between trying to cut the skin with the serving utensil and trying to pick it up and sort of shake them apart. I did this for about 5 minutes. I finally gave up and served myself two destroyed slices of turkey, still attached by the skin. My partners sister commented with "Well that was awkward" when I was finally finished.