Alone with IT

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So now I am at work and they have changed like EVERYTHING in the past 6 months and now a big big change again and it is only the second day of the change. My therapist is on holiday (naturally as I need him the most now - maybe or maybe not!)
The bosses are being good to me and understanding. I have been with this job for 15 yrs and the customers like me and stuff. I rock at the job when I can actually DO my job ! !! !! I have high functioning autism with complex PTSD (that is what happens to a lot of autistic kids who are abused because we don't understand things socially while growing up and some idiots take advantage of that). I also have Dissociative Identity Disorder because the abuse started when I was so young. My brain really super tried hard to protect me. And yes, one of my internal people (I know it is all just me - it is just like having several different computer programs able to run in my brain) but one part holds a LOT of the more severe autism features like head banging and is almost non-verbal.

Right now I am trying to just keep from having a total meltdown. That part of me feels like running away and yelling and bashing our head into every single brick wall we can find!! !! !! It feels like our insides are melting with poison and our brain is being electrocuted!! !!

It is hard for me to be social and reach out to anyone IRL. It is also hard to do it on line as most of the time I am just as lost on line as IRL. But this one board is my only hope to just reach out somehow.

I don't really have any specific comments to make, but I wanted to let you know that I read your post and it moved me.

I don't know if you want advice; big changes are rough but you can maybe manage your work situation more easily by breaking down your job duties or work areas one by one and making lists of what has changed about each one or asking your supervisor for documentation of the changes to that you have them all in one place for easy reference, rather than swimming around chaotically in your head.

Aspie Turtle, I hope that you are doing better by now.
I think that Starkid's advice is a good one to list down the changes and elaborate them, and I don't know in how far you are more verbally or visually thinking, but I am very visually thinking and still concentrating on writing lists (with signs (drawing)) help me to get through a day as it helps me to form an image, and if I loose it I get very disorientated for a long time.
You need now the highest functioning one in your system to cope with the change, but if writing works with you, as Starkid writes you can break it down to the smallest detail and I don't know your coping mechanisms to comfort the little ones in your system.
I also have great problems with change and can get very very disoritentated, but when I have enough concentration left to break it down in written form to detail and in very easy signs (drawing) it helps me to deal better (though it can take quite a lot of time, but still better than just having no anchor).
I also tend to repeat it many times (writing and drawing signs) many times again and again, not just once.

Will, if the company is changing to a new system, (OS, database, format, whatever), hopefully it is something more "modern"; something that could get you another job if the need arises. This can be a real problem when you are 40+, you are stuck with the "old stuff" and you won't be allowed to learn the "new stuff", you are expected to manage, or oversee, or get stuck writing reports, or unit tests, or interface documents, or proposals, or .....

IRL == in real life, right?

Not sure what else to say, except to offer a virtual hug.

Starkid, not sure how to say it, that avatar just creeps me out.